Venting My mother CTB :I

[narval]

Just... title. Idk if was the fact that she hanged in bathroom or the pills ended the "job". We're are waiting autopsy result.

Now i can say that I'm not too sad. She was one of the most toxic persons i knew. She was the reason because i left home, same with my sister. She pissed of my sister in a bad way. I knew that she was fucked at this moment ad this could happen (a failed attempt). I'm at a point where I can't feel sorry for her. I will not suffer her paranoia, constant anxiety, anger, hate and extreme bitter anymore. She did too much shit. I truly hope that she found what she wants.

The last thing i'll say, dedicated to her:
May you find the same peace as you leave behind


PD: Done. Perhaps i'm not a good person, being glad of this situation and bla bla bla posting bla, but it's the true. Time to hide the head for a night.

 

[Bullit]

Condolences to you my friend. Even as she was bad,still its very sad.

 

[Mondo]

Its early days on your thoughts and feelings, feel free to message if you want to offload.

 

[toforigivelife]

I agree that someone dying doesn't suddenly turn them into a saint.

I didn't know your mother so it wouldn't be fair for me to comment further.

I hope you'll look for healthy ways to deal with your mother's suicide and reach out for help and support if you need to.

I'm not doubting your experiences with her or your feelings about her but these parental bonds can be complicated and it would be a shame if her suicide began to impact a person who is already turning to SS for support.

I'm sorry for what you've been through. I hope you and your siblings take good care of yourselves and can offer each other whatever level of support you're able to offer.

 

[Pluto]

We never get to meet the real person when all we interact with is a filter of insanity and mental illness. In a better world, such people would receive real help and we could know what love really is. Peace to you, and her, and all concerned.

 

[Cant go back]

I'm sorry for your loss. It must be difficult to feel relief over something like this.

Do you have any examples you're willing to share of this constant anxiety, anger and hate? I'm in a similar situation.

I'm at a point where I can't feel sorry for her. I will not suffer her paranoia, constant anxiety, anger, hate and extreme bitter anymore.

 

[Lmd]

No creo que seas mala persona. A veces la gente está tan mal y todo está tan descontrolado que es dificil tener paciencia o mantener una actitud positiva. Al menos ahora descansa en paz.

Mucho ánimo con todo el proceso.

 

[Midgardsorm]

I'm sorry, friend. It must be difficult to handle this feelings. You're not sad but at the same time you are.

Know that you are not a bad person. It's was just the way she were with you and your sister.

May she rest in peace.

 

[Neowise]

I'm sorry for your loss. It must be harsh to suddenly lose a family member like that. The good memories always hurt. I hope your family will get through it well and may the peace your mother left behind be good for your souls.

Perhaps i'm not a good person, being glad of this situation

I don't blame you. I'll be honest, I've secretly wished death upon my mother several times. She is also toxic, narcissistic and the reason I am on this forum. My father was in hospital for 4 weeks due to Covid and later 3 weeks on rehab, I wished that was my mother instead. I would have had a 7 week vacation from her bullshit

 

[narval]

thanks for words, it it was being a weird situation. I guess i'll wondering for a long time if she deserved or not all the bad things she suffered. There's things i've to ask to relatives. Unearth distant past. I wish things had been different, but wasn't possible.

I'm sorry for your loss. It must be difficult to feel relief over something like this.

Do you have any examples you're willing to share of this constant anxiety, anger and hate? I'm in a similar situation.

Well, much matherial here. But more or less:
All his brothers, bad persons, greedy and manipulators. No matter what they did. His mother went from Catholic-conservative person to ultra-insane-hateful religious person. Why? she didn't said. My sister (studying until june) doing "literally nothing" for years despite she did it good. her coworkers and boss? all morons. The Mechanic scammed her. of course she keep going to the same mechanic. More options existed. Habitual passive-aggresive comments, even overreactions and yelling people because reasons. Complaining. Always. Never her fault of anything. Wasting money 24/7. Alcohol and Maria aggravating inestable behavior. Right here i can't remember much more specific cases

 

[Worndown]

Everyone has demons. Hers might have been very strong. You can be sorry her situation led to an unpleasant life and early death. Probably a good time to talk to your sister and see what the future offers both of you. Mutual support can help.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are going through this, I could imagine it must be hard to deal with. I wish you well.

 

[Cant go back]

Thank you for sharing. Some of those situations feel very similar

 

[SuicideRun]

It is a hard and difficult time, and you are facing it in the best way. You expressed yourself well, with delicacy and firmness. I give you my best wishes for a better life.