I'm so sorry, I truly do feel your pain. Leaving my mother behind is my one regret with the choice I'm making.
If you're close to your mother, try talking to her and see if you can't find some hope of recovery, some way that you could change your mind and be okay with living on. Of course I don't know you or anything about your circumstances, and far be it from me to preach. But if you feel strongly about CTB because of your mom, you're not locked into any choice and you can still try to fix things for yourself so you don't have to do that to her.