Help My mom is suspicious

[Thinking]

I went for a walk with my mom today, and I was being super pessimistic about the world and I couldn't help myself, I just said some stuff about how life is meaningless and pointless and stupid. She asks me if I want to live and I said "yeah" but she didn't look very convinced, and then she started talking about how I should stay in therapy even when I go to college (since I was gonna stop).

I don't know what to do. I don't want her to find anything out because she would totally feak out and blame herself for everything and be a helicopter. It would be a huge shock for her because she doesn't know I self harm, heck she doesn't even know I started emdr months ago.

Have any of you been discovered? What did you do? Any advice?

 

[W3akCr3atur3]

Mine has been discovered, but my mother never took it serious.

I think it's best for you to tell her you are just in a sad mood. Like you have hope and will to live, but just feeling too bad at the moment.

 

[stationarymillennial]

I don't have this specific problem because my friends/fam already know and most of them respect my decision. But in your case, I would like to humbly suggest two things:

1) You probably intuitively know this already, but don't talk about how life is meaningless or anything sus around your mom
2) Bust out the acting skills maybe? Start or continue a hobby and make it kind of obvious. Draw, play an instrument, make music on your computer, write poetry, idk. The idea is to convince others that you've found purpose again. Your mom is your mom though, so try to make it as genuine as possible (which I know is a tall order)

I hope this helps you. There are a lot of smart cookies here so let's see what others say.

 

[autumnal]

I went for a walk with my mom today, and I was being super pessimistic about the world and I couldn't help myself, I just said some stuff about how life is meaningless and pointless and stupid. She asks me if I want to live and I said "yeah" but she didn't look very convinced, and then she started talking about how I should stay in therapy even when I go to college (since I was gonna stop).

I don't know what to do. I don't want her to find anything out because she would totally feak out and blame herself for everything and be a helicopter. It would be a huge shock for her because she doesn't know I self harm, heck she doesn't even know I started emdr months ago.

Have any of you been discovered? What did you do? Any advice?

You genuinely couldn't stop yourself from saying stuff indicating you were suicidal? Are you sure that on some level you don't want to be stopped from doing it?

 

[Thinking]

You genuinely couldn't stop yourself from saying stuff indicating you were suicidal? Are you sure that on some level you don't want to be stopped from doing it?

I guess I wanted to tell her about being sad and feeling hopeless but I didn't expect her to jump to such conclusions. Sounds stupid in retrospect, I know

 

[alexit]

I don't have this specific problem because my friends/fam already know and most of them respect my decision. But in your case, I would like to humbly suggest two things:

1) You probably intuitively know this already, but don't talk about how life is meaningless or anything sus around your mom
2) Bust out the acting skills maybe? Start or continue a hobby and make it kind of obvious. Draw, play an instrument, make music on your computer, write poetry, idk. The idea is to convince others that you've found purpose again. Your mom is your mom though, so try to make it as genuine as possible (which I know is a tall order)

I hope this helps you. There are a lot of smart cookies here so let's see what others say.

That's good advice.

 

[TAW122]

I had a similar thing with my father getting suspicious a few months ago, when he indirectly discovered my ideation with death. It took some time before things simmered down and returned (close) to normal. I of course now avoid anything that could lead (including indirectly) to questions revolving around my intent and CTB.