my mom died i want to ctb

[harendra]

so as the thing goes my mom has died recently in a accident which I was responsible for. I want to ctb asap by nitrogen asphysixation . but don't know the proper method/steps.
if someone can guide me it would be great. for me living in this world is more difficult than dying.

 

[Shiva_Story]

i would start by going selecting a method and getting all necessary equipment (which may take a while)
for Nitrogen, look at these two threads
SCUBA method
EEBD hood method

 

[Innereye]

sounds like a hellish scenario. sorry to hear.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry to hear that. This must be hell for you now.

Here are 2 threads with lots of info:

GasMonkey Setup [Nitrogen SCBA]

🐵 GasMonkey Setup 🐵 [Nitrogen SCBA] Positive Pressure Self-Contained Breathing Apparatus **images have been edited to ensure anonymity** Front view Side view Back view Pressure gauge Lung Demand Valve and Mask Bluetooth pulse oximeter Cylinder attachment Cylinder's connection...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Nitrogen gas with EEBD hood Guide (Inert gas Method)

NITROGEN GAS WITH EEBD HOOD (INERT GAS METHOD) before I start this guide, let’s be honest this method is expensive (approximately 600 to 800 dollars)and you need minimum 1 -2 months to source the equipments and nitrogen gas cylinder. My tip for you to do it cheap, purchase the Chinese products...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be a horrible situation to be in, I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[misukiimikki]

I'm so sorry to hear that </3
My mom also died recently. So I understand somewhat of what you feel right now.

I suggest you take a step back and really look at what you really wanna do.

I wanted to ctb really bad for the first 2 weeks w/o my mom. it felt like I wasn't whole without her and that nothing ever was going to fix that.
I was partially right, nothing ever does fix it, but it does get easier. for me anyways.

Don't do anything impulsive until your 100% sure you really want to. search up methods, find which one suits ur situation and needs the most. either way, whichever you choose, this community as a whole will support you.

I hope you find the peace you're looking for.
And again, I'm so so sorry for your loss.

 

[harendra]

I'm so sorry to hear that </3
My mom also died recently. So I understand somewhat of what you feel right now.

I suggest you take a step back and really look at what you really wanna do.

I wanted to ctb really bad for the first 2 weeks w/o my mom. it felt like I wasn't whole without her and that nothing ever was going to fix that.
I was partially right, nothing ever does fix it, but it does get easier. for me anyways.

Don't do anything impulsive until your 100% sure you really want to. search up methods, find which one suits ur situation and needs the most. either way, whichever you choose, this community as a whole will support you.

I hope you find the peace you're looking for.
And again, I'm so so sorry for your loss.

The thing is my mom was the best human being ever for me anyways.
All the dreams I had for my career , future , marital life , it was never without her . Now I don't have any other reason to live.
And then there is guilt that I am responsible for the accident. which will never go away.
Even her last words were as i was crying after the accident when i saw her lying on the ground were "don't cry son i am fine"
Everytime I think about that I just don't want to exist anymore. And I don't think I should exist as I am the one responsible for her demise.

 

[ThisUnrest]

Im so incredibly sorry about your mom and the accident. Having your mom there to witness your life makes it worth more somehow. Once she is gone, it hurts so much to be alone. Sending love and self-forgiveness your way.

 

[Lost Magic]

When I lost my mother my whole world collapsed (4 years ago). She died of cancer, but I blame myself sometimes because I think we could have caught it sooner if I wasn't so preoccupied with other shit. I'm so sorry that you had to witness your beloved mother's death, but she did tell you not to cry and that she was fine. Try to find some comfort in that, if you can. I feel your pain though I know this is not an easy time for you right now.