Venting My mind is wasting away

[Haku]

So for the past 6 months, my depression has been eating away at my brain cells, many times I have been forgetting names, simple words, and where I leave things. It doesnt happen every day, there are days when I do not forget anything, but, my mind has gotten worse since I've noticed that this started. Earlier today, I went out for a smoke, and for about 30 seconds, more or less, I forgot how to turn on my lighter, it's one of those $2 good lighters you can get at a gas station, it lasts for awhile. So when I almost couldn't remember how to turn on my lighter, I almost broke down crying, but then the memory of it hit me, and luckily a breakdown was prevented. I'm a 27 year old male, but I feel like I'm 57 with alzheimers. I just hope I can ctb on the date I set for myself, I just cant live like this anymore. Anybody in their 20s suffering from the same thing?

 

[GHOST99]

Same here dude. Depression has been making me lose my concentration/focus x_x I've been messing up a lot lately. I hope ctb will provide relief

 

[Haku]

Same here dude. Depression has been making me lose my concentration/focus x_x I've been messing up a lot lately. I hope ctb will provide relief

I hope so as well for myself, and I hope in whatever method you chose, I wish you the best of luck. Thanks for sharing

 

[SickSadWorld]

Yes. I'm 26, and it won't be long until I'm 27. My mind has deteriorated so much in just this year from breaking down, stress and depression.

 

[hadenoughthanks]

i am, its awful

 

[Darkhaven]

Yeah, i have been losing intellectual skills for the last year or two.
I notice it mostly while i'm studying.
But in my case it isn't just because of depression, my disease also impacts my cognitive skills.
Getting very tired of it.

 

[Haku]

Yes. I'm 26, and it won't be long until I'm 27. My mind has deteriorated so much in just this year from breaking down, stress and depression.

Sorry to hear, and I'm not too far in age from you. Well, I wish you the best in witch ever method you chose, and I hope you feel peace that you will not have to suffer with this for much longer, thanks for sharing

 

[GreenDagny]

Yes. Such a horrible symptom.

 

[Haku]

Yeah, i have been losing intellectual skills for the last year or two.
I notice it mostly while i'm studying.
But in my case it isn't just because of depression, my disease also impacts my cognitive skills.
Getting very tired of it.

Sorry you have to go through that, I'm not sure if mine is just depression or not, I haven't been to a doctor to check, doesnt really matter at this point for me anyway. But, I hope you get the relief that you want soon, and I wish you luck on ctb, safe travels man

 

[itsallover]

I know my mind is gone from abusing drugs and alcohol for years.

 

[blackflag1]

I have dealt with dark depression since my late 20s and I am now in my 40s, I cannot say it has had a huge impact on my cognitive ability. Most of my challenges have been from alcoholism that has been hard to shake. It can eventually have negative impacts on cognitive abilities. I have seen just how rough this world can be having been in multiple countries and working in a field where I see the most horrific suffering. We are stuck making the best of life as the cards are dealt. It really is the only way to look at it in the end.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I'm 34 but I've been physically sick and depressed winder was 20. I can't remember words a lot. I know what I want to say but I just can't get it out. It's hurtful sometimes because someone very close to me that I love says in a really demeaning way...WTF happened to you.....I'm sorry but I can't help it. None of us can. We didn't chose this. Plus my illness can be affecting my brain. I'm so sorry you're going through so much pain. I wish you peace.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

I am 22, often forgetting faces, names and how to do things I do in every day life. I have days where I wake up in a panic because I don't know where I am or who I am. It's very stressful... I stressed so bad today that I now have hives on my face... Sending love.. x

 

[Haku]

I'm 34 but I've been physically sick and depressed winder was 20. I can't remember words a lot. I know what I want to say but I just can't get it out. It's hurtful sometimes because someone very close to me that I love says in a really demeaning way...WTF happened to you.....I'm sorry but I can't help it. None of us can. We didn't chose this. Plus my illness can be affecting my brain. I'm so sorry you're going through so much pain. I wish you peace.

Thank you, and for sharing as well, I also hope that you will one day have your peace as well

I am 22, often forgetting faces, names and how to do things I do in every day life. I have days where I wake up in a panic because I don't know where I am or who I am. It's very stressful... I stressed so bad today that I now have hives on my face... Sending love.. x

Thank you for sharing, and I am sorry that you are dealing with memory loss as well, and for getting hives, it doesnt happen to me often, but every once in awhile I get the hives as well, it's not a good feeling, thank you for the love, and I wish you nothing but peace and love as well, I hope we can both achieve our wishes in making these cursed lives of ours disappear

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I can relate. I'm in a different world due to chronic lack of sleep. Stuff just doesn't look real to me anymore. But try explaining how you can't figure out how to use the cooker to someone who's in a functioning state. You have my sympathies.

 

[charlottewilts]

i'm 20 but i feel this way already. i've always had a terrible memory, but my short term memory has gotten so bad recently that it's been hindering my day to day life considerably. the one thing that bothers me most is that i've lost so much of my vocabulary and the ability to make conversation. interactions with other people boiled down to parroting. i seriously feel like i'm slowly becoming brain dead.

 

[Dishonorable]

I always thought this was because of my ED, but I guess maybe my depression plays a part in it too.. It is very hard for me to focus these days. especially considering I am thinking about ways to kill myself all day.

 

[Hotsackage]

All my mental faculties have.been depleted so yes

 

[hadenoughthanks]

i'm 20 but i feel this way already. i've always had a terrible memory, but my short term memory has gotten so bad recently that it's been hindering my day to day life considerably. the one thing that bothers me most is that i've lost so much of my vocabulary and the ability to make conversation. interactions with other people boiled down to parroting. i seriously feel like i'm slowly becoming brain dead.

this is me. this is me so much, and now i'm socially awkward too and anxious because of it.

 

[Forest Fire]

I'm 34 but I've been physically sick and depressed winder was 20. I can't remember words a lot. I know what I want to say but I just can't get it out. It's hurtful sometimes because someone very close to me that I love says in a really demeaning way...WTF happened to you.....I'm sorry but I can't help it. None of us can. We didn't chose this. Plus my illness can be affecting my brain. I'm so sorry you're going through so much pain. I wish you peace.

I bumped into someone i'd not seen in ten years or so a few weeks ago, not long into the conversation he just stared at me and said " you had a personality transplant? The fucks happened to you man?". I genuinely couldn't remember any words, let alone anything that could express what i'm feeling. So I went red, started sweating, resisted the urge to cry and walked off whilst he was calling after me.
Another problem is getting half way through a sentence and my mind just switching off. Even if the person i'm talking to remembers the last thing I said, I just can't get back on track. It's as though my mind hits a wall and can't carry on.
I've also been going into a room and completely forgetting why I've gone in there.

 

[hadenoughthanks]

I bumped into someone i'd not seen in ten years or so a few weeks ago, not long into the conversation he just stared at me and said " you had a personality transplant? The fucks happened to you man?". I genuinely couldn't remember any words, let alone anything that could express what i'm feeling. So I went red, started sweating, resisted the urge to cry and walked off whilst he was calling after me.
Another problem is getting half way through a sentence and my mind just switching off. Even if the person i'm talking to remembers the last thing I said, I just can't get back on track. It's as though my mind hits a wall and can't carry on.
I've also been going into a room and completely forgetting why I've gone in there.

This is me but most of my issues come from smoking weed too much

 

[sleepy dog]

I feel so bad for all of you. May I ask a question of all of you? Like a poll or survey. Have you ever taken psychiatric drugs? You can answer by private message if you want. And if you want to tell, what drug was it?

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I don't usually forget words or how stuff works but I don't remember big chunks of my life.

 

[Forest Fire]

This is me but most of my issues come from smoking weed too much

I'd say its contributed to my state as well as i'm a heavy smoker. Overall, Id say cannabis has done more good for me than bad though and I wouldn't say my issues originate from cannabis.

I feel so bad for all of you. May I ask a question of all of you? Like a poll or survey. Have you ever taken psychiatric drugs? You can answer by private message if you want. And if you want to tell, what drug was it?

I took mirtazapine for about ten years. 45mg for the majority

 

[End Piece]

Yes yes yes. I find myself struggling to form thoughts and opinions. It makes even small choices hard.

 

[Nem]

Sorry to hear, I'm just completely screwed. Ever since I took shitty meds my life has become a complete joke.barely sleep and concentration is about as good as a retard
Peace

 

[Forest Fire]

I don't usually forget words or how stuff works but I don't remember big chunks of my life.

I remember a lot my primary school years but nothing from 11-14 .
Off topic but I really like your username. It makes me want to write a song or a childrens book haha

 

[Haku]

Thank you for those who shared, I appreciate it, I know it's not a good thing, but I am glad to find people I can relate with about this.