Venting My lover left me

[SomewhatLoved]

He broke up with me last night, and told me he was already thinking of intimacy with other people. I put everything I had into our relationship. I've always been quite affectionate, and he told me recently that he's began to feel suffocated by my love. He says it's not my fault, but that it's just too much for him. He used to like it, but something changed for him. He also told me he's gotten bored of me, and that he doesn't really find me exciting anymore. It just hurts so fuckimg much. I want to CTB.

I feel so hesitant to CTB though. When I was younger my brother attempted suicide and ended up in the ICU and I know she ended up with PTSD. I don't want to do that to her but I just don't want to go on. As well I recently got accepted into a program to further my education, and I feel like I should pursue it. I just feel like I've lost all motivation to. I remember wishing that maybe I wouldn't get in so that I could kill myself and not feel bad for dropping dead while being in the middle of something, and now I really wish that happened.

I don't want to hurt my mom. I don't want things to be over with my partner. I don't want to keep going.

 

[Meteora]

Hey.....
My partner broke up with me 5 weeks, ago. Similar reasons, just that he blames me for all kind of things.
I m so devastated and cannot believe I was so needy, so naive.
I feel so sorry for what you go through, can perfectly imagine it obviously.

I have no good advice, though.

 

[Raichu]

Same experience she ghosted me and labelled me as a p3do which is more devastating

 

[tronix]

My partner left me quite suddenly, and the reason is he felt unloved. I think his ADHD might have to do something with this, especially RSD. It's painful because two weeks prior this I left my job (actually I'm still on my notice period until June) and he supported me and was happy about it. One of the reasons why I did that was to focus on our relationship and work on our issues, plan the future together and stop being so tired because of my job.
It hurts deeply, I invested my time and emotions. He said a lot of painful things and blamed me for everything. In my lowest moment of my life, when I was so overworked and stressed. Now, it's been a month already since he moved out and I'm feeling anxiety all the time. He doesn't want to talk to me, says I ruined everything.
Of course, I showed him every color of love. But it wasn't enough.

So, I know how it feels. And I feel sorry for what you're going through. I don't know what else to say because all these naive phrases and sayings about time, healing wounds, and so on, are plain stupid and also hurtful. Personally, I have enough of healing. Why do I always must heal? Why can't I be lucky and happy?

 

[daydrey]

Pray for the bliss of dead