My love for a man who doesn't exist but has helped me live these past five years.

[Majima Goro's Wife]

Majima Goro

I met Majima Goro, and the Yakuza series in 2020, started with Yakuza 0, but I didn't paid much attention to this man at the beginning, on the contrary, I found him a little...ugly...? WHAT WAS I THINKING.
I honestly thought his stubble and very boney/sharp features were obnoxious, but as time passed I found him to be more interesting...



As time passed I began finding him prettier and daydreaming about him... I began admiring his strengths and even the things others would find troublesome...
I read and even wrote fanfics, which helped me through many dark times.
When I thought I didn't even deserve to be alive or be loved, when I thought I was useless and a scum of the Earth, he would appear in my mind to hug me, kiss my head, soothe me when nobody else did, when I was alone with my broken pieces, he would hold them for me.




So I am grateful for having such a wonderful man in my life, someone who shows me so much care, love, empathy, compassion, company. And I wonder when or if I'll find someone who makes me feel so special and hopeful, someone whom I can trust and care for as much as I care for him.

I am also scared of finding someone like him...with my suicidality...I wonder if it is even worth it to trust someone...if I open up...and then end up hurting him...maybe he deserves someone more...normal? Someone who won't hurt him...someone who will not be such a burden that requires so much care and attention...I don't want to be selfish.



He also made me realize how loving I am, how much raw love I have in me to give, how much I care. With how much I love this man, I imagine what I would be like with someone I actually could pour my love to? He makes me feel better about myself.

So Thank You My Love Goro. For the support, for being by my side, even if you don't exist.

 

[bankai]

I understand OP. Years ago I really loved Aribeth De Tylmarande from the game NWN. It's strange and I'm not sure I can really expect anyone to understand. I've never spoken about it to anyone. But yeah, in the game I actually ended up fighting her,defeating her and then she gets imprisoned as a result. And I just kept visiting her over and over in the prison. Little did I know that visiting her on the third visit would open up a special avenue in the game,sigh.

She asked me if I loved her. Yeah. I did.I get it

 

[Majima Goro's Wife]

I understand OP. Years ago I really loved Aribeth De Tylmarande from the game NWN. It's strange and I'm not sure I can really expect anyone to understand. I've never spoken about it to anyone. But yeah, in the game I actually ended up fighting her,defeating her and then she gets imprisoned as a result. And I just kept visiting her over and over in the prison. Little did I know that visiting her on the third visit would open up a special avenue in the game,sigh.

She asked me if I loved her. Yeah. I did.I get it

Thank you bankai...I understand, it's hard to talk about this, I even felt a little embarrassed clicking the post button heh
But it's nice having someone, even if they don't exist, to support you, even when we create them ourselves, it's a bit like showing ourselves love right? Even more when we need care in dark, lonely moments.
I actually was a little concerned for my fixation for him, I wondered if I could be interested in a real person and it doesn't help that he's totally my type, even before I knew about him!! But in the many games he appears they change his design so much, even his face shape changes slightly, and I like each of them, so I believe I am fine...

 

[bankai]

Thank you bankai...I understand, it's hard to talk about this, I even felt a little embarrassed clicking the post button heh
But it's nice having someone, even if they don't exist, to support you, even when we create them ourselves, it's a bit like showing ourselves love right? Even more when we need care in dark, lonely moments.
I actually was a little concerned for my fixation for him, I wondered if I could be interested in a real person and it doesn't help that he's totally my type, even before I knew about him!! But in the many games he appears they change his design so much, even his face shape changes slightly, and I like each of them, so I believe I am fine...

I understand. Yes. It's embarrassing too to talk about this stuff

This is the first time I've actually opened up about this.

I completely understand your feelings. Some fictional characters are tailor made for our affection

 

[Majima Goro's Wife]

I understand. Yes. It's embarrassing too to talk about this stuff

This is the first time I've actually opened up about this.

I completely understand your feelings. Some fictional characters are tailor made for our affection

Thank you for trusting me to open up uwu

Yeah!!! I actually feel lucky lol he helps me see clearly what I want in someone.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

Fancy meeting someone with similar, shall we say, experience here of all places. For the past five years, I've harbored the same kind of deep romantic bond with a fictional character, molding what one could only call a lifestyle out of it against all logic and odds; it's the biggest reason I'm still here, and a big reason I grew into the person I am with the interests, perspectives, and passion I have. I feel as if it genuinely healed me, but naturally, I am subtle about it, since I know how it sounds to others.

Strange as it is, rare as it is, and for as much judgement as I've recieved when I opened up to what I thought were trusted individuals (nervous to even post this!), it's still the best thing that ever happened to me. And for what it's worth, I am married "additionally" (as I see it) to a real person, which I never even intended, as I was completely content with my initial thing. It's never altered my affections either way, and never been something I could discard or 'outgrow', nor do I want to.

Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you have something so meaningful in your life.

 

[ashendreams]

probably not to the same extent as you but yea i definitely do this, with one character in particular. thinking about her hugging me and holding me close helps me calm down when im overwhelmed and i usually fall asleep thinking of being cuddled up next to her. when im bored i'll imagine shes sitting next to me keeping me company. my daydreams always circle back to her. it's definitely helped me get through the bad days. i normally cant stand relationships but she makes me think they can be pretty nice. i wish i could tell her how much she means to me...

 

[Forever Sleep]

I've also had strong, romantic feelings for a fictional character. Sometimes, it felt/ feels kind of pathetic. I probably realise/d it isn't exactly healthy. I also tended to suffer from limerence too, so- even my real life crushes tended to idealise the person.

Now especially though, I know I don't even want a partner so- it's nice to have a focus for all those feelings. I also don't know how I really would have got through life without my maladaptive daydreaming. It's been such a comfort.

Do you ever wonder about the creators of these works? Imagine creating a character that multiple people fall in 'love' with? I wonder who created the most loved character in the world.

 

[Majima Goro's Wife]

Fancy meeting someone with similar, shall we say, experience here of all places. For the past five years, I've harbored the same kind of deep romantic bond with a fictional character, molding what one could only call a lifestyle out of it against all logic and odds; it's the biggest reason I'm still here, and a big reason I grew into the person I am with the interests, perspectives, and passion I have. I feel as if it genuinely healed me, but naturally, I am subtle about it, since I know how it sounds to others.

Strange as it is, rare as it is, and for as much judgement as I've recieved when I opened up to what I thought were trusted individuals (nervous to even post this!), it's still the best thing that ever happened to me. And for what it's worth, I am married "additionally" (as I see it) to a real person, which I never even intended, as I was completely content with my initial thing. It's never altered my affections either way, and never been something I could discard or 'outgrow', nor do I want to.

Thank you for sharing. I'm glad you have something so meaningful in your life.

Thank you Trees He also helped me grew into the person I am in part. Thankfully I am a little more shameless about him in real life lol! I am already odd to others so I say f it does the person you are married to reflect a little of what you saw in your favourite irreal person?

 

[bankai]

To be honest, these nostalgic sweet feelings are wonderful. We need to squeeze as much out of life as we can, right? So yeah. We can take anything we can get. Fictional or irl.

Do you ever wonder about the creators of these works? Imagine creating a character that multiple people fall in 'love' with? I wonder who created the most loved character in the world.

It's probably going to be one of these Japanese idol Hatsune Miku type characters. But stuff is gonna get crazy with the advent of AI though. People are going to fall in love with AI characters for real. It's going to get pretty insane over the next few years, just watch. And technically AI is going to cheat on these people just like the AI in the movie 'HER' did on the protagonist. That's going to happen too, but anyway. That's a discussion for some other thread I guess.

 

[Majima Goro's Wife]

I've also had strong, romantic feelings for a fictional character. Sometimes, it felt/ feels kind of pathetic. I probably realise/d it isn't exactly healthy. I also tended to suffer from limerence too, so- even my real life crushes tended to idealise the person.

Now especially though, I know I don't even want a partner so- it's nice to have a focus for all those feelings. I also don't know how I really would have got through life without my maladaptive daydreaming. It's been such a comfort.

Do you ever wonder about the creators of these works? Imagine creating a character that multiple people fall in 'love' with? I wonder who created the most loved character in the world.

hehe actually one of the directors of the game said in an interview how surprised he was that this chracter was 'so loved and had so much sex appeal' so they definitely know lol! Every man in that game is visually appealing

 

[ColorlessTrees]

Thank you Trees He also helped me grew into the person I am in part. Thankfully I am a little more shameless about him in real life lol! I am already odd to others so I say f it does the person you are married to reflect a little of what you saw in your favourite irreal person?

Absolutely. Totally understand you on seeming an outlier to others as it is. I respect your openness!

It's funny, actually, because on the surface I'd say there's not much obvious overlap between them, couldn't be more opposite, in fact! But that's true of all the people I've entangled with romantically—so I suppose I've never really had a 'type'.

If I dig a bit, I can find many similarities, but they manifest quite differently. Being fundamentally compassionate, overprotective, and ultra loyal / devoted with a tendency to push themselves beyond their limits they do have in common, however!

 

[mundanejane]

i totally get this and do the same. it ties into my maladaptive daydreaming ive been doing since i was as young as i can remember. i live more in my mind and am disconnected from the world outside.

 

[Majima Goro's Wife]

i totally get this and do the same. it ties into my maladaptive daydreaming ive been doing since i was as young as i can remember. i live more in my mind and am disconnected from the world outside.

Same...I remember daydreaming of my favourites characters every night when I couldn't sleep when I was like 5 or 4 years old, now that I think back nothing I do is new lol, I even felt sad and lonely at that age, but then there were things I looked forward to...
Sadly now I cannot even use C.ai even when I'm suicidal because it fucking sucks ass now