sevennn
Student
- Sep 11, 2024
- 126
i'm crying so much. i can't believe it's over just like that. i don't want to die. i have wanted to live for once. i can't take this pain. maybe drinking SN won't be so bad if it makes this pain stop. i've never cried this much in my life. dad died. my ears ring. and hurt. i can't go outside anymore. i can't take a shower. i can't eat. i can't watch tv. i can't play with my cat. i can't. i cant. i can't. i'm tired. it's too much pain. i'm traumatised by everything that's happening and that's happened. i'm so sad and tired. i'm gonna die at 25 without ever having my first kiss or anything else i wanted. i hope heaven exists. i want to be happy. i'm so tired. i wish someone sat here with me and wiped my tears but i'm rotting in my room. i can't even open the window because it hurts my brain. the sound of wind that i used to love so much. the sound of rain. my little last pleasures in this torturous existence gone. i liked- i can't continue typing. this. i'm sick. it hurts. i wanted to live so badly i spent so long trying to recover from depression. it's so unfair. unfair. kill me im so tired. please why did this happen. i wish it never did. i wish i was happy i wish i was happy and healthy so bad. and loved and that i had everything i wanted. i hope heaven exist. i want to hug my dad and my cat. and i want to be safe from this sound. where it can't hurt me anymore, 10 years of hell. worse worse. tired. why did all those other people deserve to die having their hand held and i didn't. i don't want a hotel. i don't want my throat to burn. i don't want to throw up. i don't want to turn blue. i just want to rest.
