My life is fucked

[downndone2]

I hate my existence, it is barely that. I lay in bed all fucking day thinking of how I ruined my life and praying to die. I feel I can't even adult. Returning to work soon and completely freaking out over it. My self-care is lacking, muscle mass is gone, and anxiety/depression literally has me stuck in bed all the time. I'm so afraid I'm going to fuck up this new job, I just know it.
I really want to ctb everyday but I have family, friends, dogs that love me. They would be hurt and angry. I'm trying to push thru to pay off my debt or as much of it as I can before ctb, but I don't think I'll ever recover from what I did and my mental health is awful
I have gun and ordered sn. That does give me a sense of relief but also makes me so fucking anxious thinking about it.

 

[Viranamari]

Life can indeed be cruel and extremely hopeless to most people. Many people would have CTB by now if it weren't for their loved ones. Existence is suffering so I get how you feel. For many people, motivation and self-care are an issue but it's not their fault, they saw the world for what it truly is. Anyways, I hope things get better as cruel as your existence might seem to you.

 

[downndone2]

Life can indeed be cruel and extremely hopeless to most people. Many people would have CTB by now if it weren't for their loved ones. Existence is suffering so I get how you feel. For many people, motivation and self-care are an issue but it's not their fault, they saw the world for what it truly is. Anyways, I hope things get better as cruel as your existence might seem to you.

I just want to fall asleep snd never wake up

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing in this world certainly can be torture, of course there does seem to be no peace and relief from the suffering that this life brings, it's very much understandable just wishing to never wake again, if only suicide was that straightforward then that would be ideal. But anyway best wishes.

 

[CompleteControl]

We are way to similar, yah I have the Remington 870 on standby incase things don't go according to plan as far as and myself am 5'11 and usually 220 and am now 170 and that weight loss has happened since the end of Jan of this year between heartbreak and depression I usually eat once a day and indulge in unhealthy crap as a coping mechanism but I mean why not ya know think before I put an end to myself I'm going to get a meal of epicness, leave a generous tip and bon voyage from there
On a similar note I plan on going into work tonight drunk not that it's anything new but will be a particular shade of Drunk AF should be entertaining for the co workers and since I don't plan on going back I'm going to have fun with it right? I always hear people saying life's short so "enjoy it" lmao so that's exactly what I plan on doing
On a similar note I plan on going into work tonight drunk not that it's anything new but will be a particular shade of Drunk AF should be entertaining for the co workers and since I don't plan on going back I'm going to have fun with it right? I always hear people saying life's short so "enjoy it" lmao so that's exactly what I plan on doing