So I had decided that either I ctb last night or put all my efforts into surviving getting my shit together (I have an engineering exam tomorrow I haven't begun studying for, I haven't put much effort in finding a job to avoid becoming homeless in 5-6 weeks. My credit is going to shit and I'm not willing to beg for money for the minimum payments cause "it'd be a waste of resources anyway",etc)
However I can't continue to half-ass this , whether it's living or dying. I honestly have no will to live so the sooner I ctb the better.
Waited until after my sibling's birthday so I didn't ruin it. Then last night I thought about how it'd ruin all future Valentine days for my siblings + I thought of how it'd tarnish people's impressions of my super successful family (family that ironically played a major role in my my current state) ..procrastinated going to the woods til it was too late. I can't make that mistake again
I can't procrastinate any longer. Either I commit to giving it my all to survive or I ctb. Staying in between only worsens things. I personally prefer ctb while I still have a minimum of dignity left
However I can't continue to half-ass this , whether it's living or dying. I honestly have no will to live so the sooner I ctb the better.
Waited until after my sibling's birthday so I didn't ruin it. Then last night I thought about how it'd ruin all future Valentine days for my siblings + I thought of how it'd tarnish people's impressions of my super successful family (family that ironically played a major role in my my current state) ..procrastinated going to the woods til it was too late. I can't make that mistake again
I can't procrastinate any longer. Either I commit to giving it my all to survive or I ctb. Staying in between only worsens things. I personally prefer ctb while I still have a minimum of dignity left
