Venting My horrifyingly ugly face has cursed me to a life of neverending loneliness and despair

[Letting Go]

I really hate feeling like a victim, but the biggest void in my life (that is, being cursed with an unsightly face that no female has ever been attracted to) is completely out of my control. My most notable physical deformity cannot be fixed through self-improvement or even surgery. I lost the genetic lottery big-time and have had to suffer through 36 years of True Forced Loneliness as a result.

With other things in life, if things aren't going as hoped, I can either improve myself (and usually be rewarded with tangible results) or completely give up and move onto other things. That isn't possible when it comes to fundamental needs like sex and intimacy, which appear on the lower levels of Maslow's famous hierarchy. Short of getting castrated, I will always have those perfectly natural desires but will never be able to fulfill them because women become instantly horrified the very moment they glance at my freakish head. Even Eggman and Grotesque are better-looking than I am, as evidenced by them managing to attract at least someone in the course of their lives unlike me. I feel like the ugliest man on the planet. I am destined to live out the rest of my days without ever experiencing the romantic and sexual highs that other people take for granted and no amount of MGTOW-esque "coping" will ever fill this gaping hole in my life.

Please don't give me bullshit advice like "focus on the areas of life that can be improved." I have exhausted that option without any success whatsoever. The only thing left for me to do is completely shut myself off from this cruel, judgmental planet like Quasimodo in the Hunchback of Notre Dame until I finally muster up the courage to end this hellish existence, which I should have done years ago.

 

[Letting Go]

 

[I’vehadenough]

I was recently disfigured and I plan on committing suicide because all I feel is high anxiety and depression and it's at the point where I can't even talk at times

 

[Letting Go]

I was recently disfigured and I plan on committing suicide because all I feel is high anxiety and depression and it's at the point where I can't even talk at times

Damn, that really sucks. It's disturbing to think about how fragile life is. One's life can be turned upside-down in a heartbeat. And for others, the chances of having a complete, fulfilling life were impossible from day one. It's too bad that breeders don't ever consider these bleak outcomes. "It'll never happen to my kid," they assume.

 

[Xerxes]

I had an alright face, until I got psoriasis over 70% of my body.

 

[I’vehadenough]

Damn, that really sucks. It's disturbing to think about how fragile life is. One's life can be turned upside-down in a heartbeat. And for others, the chances of having a complete, fulfilling life were impossible from day one. It's too bad that breeders don't ever consider these bleak outcomes. "It'll never happen to my kid," they assume.

Yeah. I want to live so bad, but I can't live this weird face. What would I do? Just work and watch tv my whole life?

 

[Letting Go]

Yeah. I want to live so bad, but I can't live this weird face. What would I do? Just work and watch tv my whole life?

That's the kind of depressing existence that I fear more than death itself. To just slave away for decades on end, without having your basic sexual/romantic needs met isn't a life worth living IMO.

 

[I’vehadenough]

That's the kind of depressing existence that I fear more than death itself. To just slave away for decades on end, without having your basic sexual/romantic needs met isn't a life worth living IMO.

I know. Is that what you're doing now? Are you going to ctb or try to live?

 

[Letting Go]

I know. Is that what you're doing now? Are you going to ctb or try to live?

I've essentially been in limbo for decades. I've been waiting to see if a miracle happens before a catastrophic event pushes me over the proverbial edge. Examples of such "knockout blows" would include getting diagnosed with cancer or some other horrible condition, losing my father, and losing my hair. It's only a matter of time before one of those things happen, and if my life isn't any better at that time, I'll be calling it quits.

 

[Schopenhauer]

If you have money, hookers are a decent substitute. They can make you feel wanted. I know that.

 

[Letting Go]

If you have money, hookers are a decent substitute. They can make you feel wanted. I know that.

Been there, done that. I am even rejected by hookers most of the time. And when I finally lost my virginity to a high-end escort in another country, she didn't even conceal her disgust towards me. This affected me psychologically and I ended up losing my erection! It was one of the most disappointing experiences of my life and I've had plenty of them over the years!

 

[Schopenhauer]

Been there, done that. I am even rejected by hookers most of the time. And when I finally lost my virginity to a high-end escort in another country, she didn't even conceal her disgust towards me. This affected me psychologically and I ended up losing my erection! It was one of the most disappointing experiences of my life and I've had plenty of them over the years!

Damn, I'm sorry. Maybe I was too glib.
This genetic lottery sucks. It's awful how people can be simply ugly.

 

[Letting Go]

Damn, I'm sorry. Maybe I was too glib.
This genetic lottery sucks. It's awful how people can be simply ugly.

In a less flawed universe, you would be able to customize your looks instead of being stuck with a face/head that other guys have always mocked and women have always been horrified by. I have probably received more negative feedback about my looks than anyone who has ever existed. Most people wouldn't even believe half of the shit I've been through because "god" decided to take a massive shit on me when I was conceived.

 

[Fallen bad23]

I feel your pain but if there is one thing I can tell you about women is that we love a man who is sincere and honest. Be yourself and just let things flow. You don't want to have someone who loves you for how you look. Love is not because, it is despite...

 

[Xerxes]

One thing I learned is that even attractive popular people have shitty personalities while those who are less fortunate have great ones. Unless you're like me and have a crap personality and ugly as sin.

 

[Letting Go]

I feel your pain but if there is one thing I can tell you about women is that we love a man who is sincere and honest. Be yourself and just let things flow. You don't want to have someone who loves you for how you look. Love is not because it is despite...

Looks are what get you in the door with women. In my case, I have had the door repeatedly slammed in my face before I even had the chance to repel them in other ways!

 

[Letting Go]

Unless you're like me and have a crap personality and ugly as sin.

Guilty on both counts.

My personality never had a chance to develop because others always excluded me due to not wanting to be seen hanging around that "ugly freak" who everyone constantly made fun of. It would have crippled their social status.

 

[Fallen bad23]

Looks are what get you in the door with women. In my case, I have had the door repeatedly slammed in my face before I even had the chance to repel them in other ways!

Maybe you shouldn't let that get to you. You don't need people who are shallow and only focus on appearances. You deserve someone that sees through you and loves you for who you are. If you hate yourself it is most likely that people would miss your real beauty. So you need to learn to love yourself and accept your looks first then people would surely see how lovely you are.

 

[Made4TV]

Maybe you shouldn't let that get to you. You don't need people who are shallow and only focus on appearances. You deserve someone that sees through you and loves you for who you are. If you hate yourself it is most likely that people would miss your real beauty. So you need to learn to love yourself and accept your looks first then people would surely see how lovely you are.

I'm not sure how to put this nicely but I feel like you're probably not helping even though you want to and are clearly a good-hearted person. It sounds like OP is pretty clear about his situation and the things he's tried and the responses he's gotten. I'm so sorry to those who suffer with this. People are so so cruel.

 

[Letting Go]

If you hate yourself it is most likely that people would miss your real beauty. So you need to learn to love yourself and accept your looks first then people would surely see how lovely you are.

In a better world, things would work that way, but my experiences with other people over the course of nearly four decades tell a vastly different story. I only started hating myself after other people constantly reminded me of how ugly I am compared to everyone else. I am attractive to absolutely no one. Other ugly people may struggle to find a partner, but will usually find someone because they were somebody's "type." I am nobody's type. Every race of women despise me. Whites, blacks, latinas, Asians, and everything in between. Fit women, fat women, and everyone in between. I am universally despised by all women, just like I was universally tormented at every school I attended because of my unchangeable appearance. It really sucks, and very few people can relate because they haven't experienced 1/100th of the bullying, rejections, and outright discrimination that I've received through the course of my life. The experience of, say, a young woman who writes newspaper articles bragging about how everyone in my city is so nice to her -- complimenting her and even buying her free drinks -- is a totally alien experience to me because I have only dealt with endless hostility since the time I entered preschool. It's like we're not even living on the same planet, let alone the same city, because our experiences with other people are so vastly different. It makes me feel like absolute shit to see how much better other people are treated compared to me. It's fucking hell!

 

[Letting Go]

I'm not sure how to put this nicely but I feel like you're probably not helping even though you want to and are clearly a good-hearted person. It sounds like OP is pretty clear about his situation and the things he's tried and the responses he's gotten. I'm so sorry to those who suffer with this. People are so so cruel.

The advice posted in that other response may work for other people, but has never worked for me. I can only speak for myself based on my own experiences that have been noticeably worse than your average person's.

 

[Letting Go]

And even if I could magically fix my physical flaws, the mental scars from my traumatic upbringing make connecting with other people damn near impossible. Aside from never getting the chance to develop my social skills normally, I cannot go out in public without experiencing severe anxiety. Everywhere I go, I fear other people's judgments because other people have always gone out of their way to verbally and even physically attack me completely unprovoked. I am a nervous wreck around other people and can only be at peace inside my own room or in the deep wilderness, far away from other people.

 

[LifeSick]

What's worse is that being ugly affects not only romantic relationships, it affects all of your relationships. Looks matter more than people admit.

 

[Fallen bad23]

I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable. I only expressed what I truly believe. I really hope that you get peace of mind and I'm so sorry that you had to go through this pain.

 

[Aesthler]

We are social beings, we aren't supposed to be alone. I understand the pain of being cut off from everyone else. The reality is people want to be loved and accepted by their peers and appearance is a big factor in making a connection with others.

 

[Letting Go]

One more post before I call it a night...

What makes me more suicidal than anything else in life -- even rejection -- is when I am exposed to other guys experiencing what I can only dream about. This is happening right now and I consequently feel worse than I have felt since the beginning of the year when the same thoughts were running through my head. I would rather not exist altogether than be forced to think about what I have been missing out on all my life. Even Eggman's blackpilled video below isn't quite as depressing.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I hate being ugly too. I mean I am not as uber fugly as that guy in the video above and I always had girlfriends but never being openly flirted with or whatever hurts. I hate going through life being so mediocre. What's the point? If it's just to humble and embarrass me then congratulations universe, you win.