Venting my homophobic parents

[kindawannacrylol]

Im so sick of ny family, im only 18 and I depend on them for my university fees so I can't come out to them as a lesbian yet because i know theyll kick me out. I wish there was a world where I could be in a happy lesbian relationship without society looking down on me, a world where my parents would still love me. But that world doesnt exist. Theyre going go expect me to be married soon and it's looking like my only option is to get married to a man and I can't do that. I can't wait to ctb i hate myself for being gay, hate the fact that my parents will never accept me i dont know what else to do.

 

[WornOutLife]

Oh dear, I'm so sorry you're parents are not open-minded.
I'm not gay but I have some gay friends and my parents used to have panic attacks when they saw them but little by little, they understood that we're all different and there's nothing wrong with being gay, bi, lesbian, straight, or whatever.

I hope things get better, somehow, soon.

Wish you the best!

 

[kindawannacrylol]

Oh dear, I'm so sorry you're parents are not open-minded.
I'm not gay but I have some gay friends and my parents used to have panic attacks when they saw them but little by little, they understood that we're all different and there's nothing wrong with being gay, bi, lesbian, straight, or whatever.

I hope things get better, somehow, soon.

Wish you the best!

such a shame that the idea that nothing is wrong with being gay is believed by so little people :/ thank you so much for your kind words!

 

[NodusTollens]

I'm so sorry, love. HUGS. I understand how you feel. In my world... few people know I'm pan. It's hard living up to expectations for your life when they don't match our hopes for ourselves.

College & living away from home gave me the opportunity to experiment & be, but not openly. My parents raised us with talks of homosexuality being wrong, so I hid from any person or circle of friends even remotely connected to my "old life." Following bad choices things reached a crescendo & I had to return to my old life.

Since quarantine I've started to see that how I identify, how I present myself & my desire to be openly out is a very real part of myself that I'm repressing & it's killing me. I'm so afraid of how my closest friends & family would react, & the idea of telling them.... sends my anxiety through the rough.... I just can't handle the judgement

 

[CatabolicSeed]

I am also a lesbian who plans to CTB, and I want you to know that this is a problem that can be solved without killing yourself. You won't be 18 forever and your parents can't force you to marry. Once you graduate and get a job and become financially independent, you can live a happy life as a gay person. Being a lesbian is one of the very few happy things in my life. There is a world of support out there for you.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm sorry to hear that parents try to dictate who you love. You should be accepted for who you are, and it's OK to love whomever you connect with. Couldn't you just tell them you haven't found the right man yet while you continue your education, and once you have more independence and self-sufficiency you can talk to them about your sexual orientation in an environment where you are no longer under their control.

 

[Manford]

Are your parents religious ? Why do they want you to marry while you are still a teenager ? At least waiting until you finish college would be a slightly more reasonable expectation.

 

[kindawannacrylol]

I'm sorry to hear that parents try to dictate who you love. You should be accepted for who you are, and it's OK to love whomever you connect with. Couldn't you just tell them you haven't found the right man yet while you continue your education, and once you have more independence and self-sufficiency you can talk to them about your sexual orientation in an environment where you are no longer under their control.

Maybe its because I'm still young but I doubt I'd be able to live a happy and fulfilling life wity the knowledge that my family hate ne for something I can't control. My parents are starting to get quite old and my mother is starting to get quite sick and I want to be on good terms with during their final years. They wouldn't come to ny wedding or eveb recognise me as their daughter anymore

Are your parents religious ? Why do they want you to marry while you are still a teenager ? At least waiting until you finish college would be a slightly more reasonable expectation.

Yes my parents are devout roman catholics and by 'soon' i mean around 2/3 years. Most of the women in my family marry around that age, I could try discusding the posibility of marrying a little bit later though

 

[Deleted member 94]

Maybe its because I'm still young but I doubt I'd be able to live a happy and fulfilling life wity the knowledge that my family hate ne for something I can't control. My parents are starting to get quite old and my mother is starting to get quite sick and I want to be on good terms with during their final years. They wouldn't come to ny wedding or eveb recognise me as their daughter anymore

Yes my parents are devout roman catholics and by 'soon' i mean around 2/3 years. Most of the women in my family marry around that age, I could try discusding the posibility of marrying a little bit later though

Tell them most priests are gay.

 

[StuckAF]

Yeah our life is hell can't even enjoy things normal teens are allowed to enjoy

 

[pen]

Im so sick of ny family, im only 18 and I depend on them for my university fees so I can't come out to them as a lesbian yet because i know theyll kick me out. I wish there was a world where I could be in a happy lesbian relationship without society looking down on me, a world where my parents would still love me. But that world doesnt exist. Theyre going go expect me to be married soon and it's looking like my only option is to get married to a man and I can't do that. I can't wait to ctb i hate myself for being gay, hate the fact that my parents will never accept me i dont know what else to do.

Congratulations, who needs a dick telling the do's and don'ts, get a student loan if needed to, get help at a LGBT+ websites.

 

[stygal]

Definitely don't get married to someone just because you want your parents to be happy! They can't make you - even if you were straight.
Try to just finish your degree as quickly as possible and then get a job to gain financial independence.
The sooner the better!
Anyways, I'm really sorry you have to deal with those difficult circumstances.

 

[PrettyMoose]

It is a possibility that they may accept you. Some people will hate the "other" because they are in their ignorant bubble and don't know much about the people they hate, but once they realize that someone they love is a part of that group they hate, they may then see things in a different light now that it's no longer an "other" issue. It becomes more real and they see that the "other" is very much like anyone else and not the ridiculous threat they had once thought.

But, on the other hand, that may not happen. If and/or when they find out, it is of course better to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. At any rate, it is smart to wait until you are more independent to come out to them, if you do want to come out to them at all. If you really wanted to you could just wait until the right time and cut contact with them and just go on about your life how you want. It's all your decision. I hope things go well for you anyway.

 

[kindawannacrylol]

I'm so sorry, love. HUGS. I understand how you feel. In my world... few people know I'm pan. It's hard living up to expectations for your life when they don't match our hopes for ourselves.

College & living away from home gave me the opportunity to experiment & be, but not openly. My parents raised us with talks of homosexuality being wrong, so I hid from any person or circle of friends even remotely connected to my "old life." Following bad choices things reached a crescendo & I had to return to my old life.

Since quarantine I've started to see that how I identify, how I present myself & my desire to be openly out is a very real part of myself that I'm repressing & it's killing me. I'm so afraid of how my closest friends & family would react, & the idea of telling them.... sends my anxiety through the rough.... I just can't handle the judgement

I can relate on so many levels, I'm terrified, once I come out its not something I can un-do

 

[NodusTollens]

I can relate on so many levels, I'm terrified, once I come out its not something I can un-do

Yeah... exactly. Sorry you know this feeling too. HUGS.

 

[Nymph]

I'm sorry you're in this situation. I really don't get how ppl still don't except the lgbt community in 2021. I hope things get better for you