Xerneas
Member
- Apr 1, 2021
- 16
One of my friends IRL decided to CTB and when we were looking through this PC, I leaned towards this site because honestly, he and I are basically the same people and I tried to CTB about 2 days before he decided to CTB. I'm just going to leave this post as something to note... Kind of like a diary entry because my identity on this website is completely anonymous. Before I even knew that SS existed in the middle of March, I tried to CTB at 3 AM via OD when I posted my public social media suicide letter. He and his girlfriend (who is my best friend), and like a whole medical team bolted over to my house to stop me - he looked so distant and it almost seemed like he was so numb - I knew something was up but I didn't think too much into it hence he tried to save my life (?). I really was upset because I felt like I had control over my life for the first time in my life. The next day I try to CTB via hanging/wrist slitting, but I was stopped - however, at the same time I was trying to CTB, he CTB and the succeeded and I didn't; it almost feels like the world was trying to decide which one of us Terra Mater wanted to take. In the aftermath; everyone knew about my attempt, so his mom looked at me in the eye and was just telling me that I was just her son in the female form and that kind of shook me... Because let's be honest, death is still pretty shocking and still, even right now I'd like to CTB.
I don't know... From that night, I was just glad he was freed and at peace. I still think about it a lot along with how I'd like to CTB.
I don't know... From that night, I was just glad he was freed and at peace. I still think about it a lot along with how I'd like to CTB.
