Venting My head hurts

[bennay]

My head hurts, or should I say my mind… it never stops going!
Has anyone else ever stopped and focused on their body? As a whole? As individual pieces? Everything hurts! Even focusing on what I feel are my insides, it all hurts like hell! I'm never comfortable.

Another thing I thought about is how sad it is, that we are here hoping for some divine intervention from the universe or whatever that will come take us, but the thing that has me fucked up is that, divine intervention could be a car accident, heart attack, getting shot etc, things that could be extremely painful in passing yet, we have the means to provide ourselves with a painless out and fucking SI, is like "nope", wtf is that shit? Sure you're not expecting divine intervention but some of us still go about our day knowing it could happen.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is so horrible. I'm sorry you are in so much pain. We are programmed to survive which means that suicide is difficult. If it was easier I would already be gone. We all deserve the option of euthanasia, as then we would not have to deal with the SI. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[bennay]

Life is so horrible. I'm sorry you are in so much pain. We are programmed to survive which means that suicide is difficult. If it was easier I would already be gone. We all deserve the option of euthanasia, as then we would not have to deal with the SI. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

I'm starting to see it like this, whether you do it or a doctor does it, SI will still be there, you will still have full knowledge of what is going to happen and in some of the places that do allow DWD, the doctor only gives you the medication but you yourself have to take them on your own.

I will note that I believe the fear of failure and SI are completely separate from one another. For example, for whatever reason your method failed and you are laying up in a hospital, with the potential of recovery but you'd be a vegetable for the rest of your life, they would follow your directives not to live like that and would respect and understand that the QUALITY of your life is gone, they would let you go in peace. It would be comforting to know that regardless my wishes will be honored.

That's where I'm at an impasse, I have my reasons for wanting to go and they are my reasons, I don't give a damn if people don't like it or don't understand but at the very least ,as an adult, they should be respected because its my life, the one I, and no one else has to live everyday the quality of it is gone for ME! Idgaf is Johnny Bob went through something similar and he is fine, more power to him! But his life is not mine and mine is not his.

SI doesn't scare me, what scares me is some dumb ass doctor, politician, and/or my loving family refusing, to let go against my will.

 

[sorryforthat]

yes it can happen but this is just a possibility.