Venting My Girlfriend broke up with me, Considering ending it

[PongoHangs]

I don't wanna CTB over a breakup, I never thought I would even consider taking my own life over a breakup until now. But she was one of the only people who I could talk to, who I honestly believed understood me. The breakup wasn't horrible, I'm not gonna go into depth about it but she is in a really low spot right now. She had just gotten out of a relationship before getting with me and that ex had fucked her up pretty bad emotionally, things ended horribly. She just wasn't ready to commit to another relationship, she felt herself getting attached to me so she left. I understand where she was coming from. Takes a lot to build a relationship like that, and then having your significant other turn around and destroy everything you two built would hurt. So I don't expect her to be relationship ready right now, I want her to heal and focus on what she needs right now. Though I'm afraid that my intuition is right and we might not get back together in the future and that's what is making me weigh my options here. The only reason I think we might not be able to work through this is that she still talks to her ex, the ex that she blames for our breakup basically. I know this person personally, and I've talked to them about their past relationship. After hearing both sides of the story I think I might be getting played, I hope I'm wrong but this shit happens to me a lot. So now I'm left wondering what to do. I don't have much for me here, I would argue that I'm a waste of oxygen at this point. I don't contribute anything to anyone, I'm lazy, and I'm incredibly slow It's impressive how stupid I've gotten recently. If I decide to CTB I will definitely update you on that, still need to figure out a method though so if you have any suggestions let me know my options are somewhat limited currently.

 

[SoftWorries]

Watch all three books of Avatar the last Airbender today before you decide if it's worth it to ctb over a relationship.

 

[PongoHangs]

Watch all three books of Avatar the last Airbender today before you decide if it's worth it to ctb over a relationship.

I actually just finished that show for about the fourth time. 10/10.

 

[Linda]

I know how you feel. I've been there (except it was boyfriends, not girlfriends). But there are 4 billion women on the planet, and about 200 million (1 in 20) will be close to your age. That's a lot of girls. There will certainly be many who are just as good for you as your former girlfriend. There will be some who are better. All you have to do is find one of them. My advice would be to wait for a few months, and see how you feel then.

 

[ChildrensITV]

I don't wanna CTB over a breakup, I never thought I would even consider taking my own life over a breakup until now. But she was one of the only people who I could talk to, who I honestly believed understood me. The breakup wasn't horrible, I'm not gonna go into depth about it but she is in a really low spot right now. She had just gotten out of a relationship before getting with me and that ex had fucked her up pretty bad emotionally, things ended horribly. She just wasn't ready to commit to another relationship, she felt herself getting attached to me so she left. I understand where she was coming from. Takes a lot to build a relationship like that, and then having your significant other turn around and destroy everything you two built would hurt. So I don't expect her to be relationship ready right now, I want her to heal and focus on what she needs right now. Though I'm afraid that my intuition is right and we might not get back together in the future and that's what is making me weigh my options here. The only reason I think we might not be able to work through this is that she still talks to her ex, the ex that she blames for our breakup basically. I know this person personally, and I've talked to them about their past relationship. After hearing both sides of the story I think I might be getting played, I hope I'm wrong but this shit happens to me a lot. So now I'm left wondering what to do. I don't have much for me here, I would argue that I'm a waste of oxygen at this point. I don't contribute anything to anyone, I'm lazy, and I'm incredibly slow It's impressive how stupid I've gotten recently. If I decide to CTB I will definitely update you on that, still need to figure out a method though so if you have any suggestions let me know my options are somewhat limited currently.

It sounds like she is not over him and is holding out for a chance at rekindling with him. Whatever happens, it seems like you aren't coming out winning here. Even if she gets back with you, it's more out of going back to where she has some foundations rather than starting completely from new. And you will always be 2nd prize. She will grow to resent you. You represent the fact that she couldn't be with her first choice. If you rekindle with her, you won't last too long with her.

I would say it is not worth CTBing over a breakup but with a caveat:

For most men under a 5/10 in looks or sexual-market value, a breakup represents not just losing one woman but losing potentially the only woman you will ever find who loved you. This is hard for average or goodlooking men or any women to understand, but in 2023, a lot of men find getting into a relationship hard. Women's standards have gone up thanks to social media and online-dating and having 1000s of men at their disposal.

Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

Sexual activity among young American men has declined sharply since 2000, with nearly a third reporting no sex with a partner in the prior year, according to a survey study published on Friday that suggests social media and electronic gaming might be filling the void.

www.reuters.com

So, if you @PongoHangs are not that attractive, have autism, or your life is generally one where women don't gravitate to you, then you do have to ask yourself some questions. But if you can get another girlfriend in the next year for sure, then I would recommend you stick around.

Give yourself a year at least to figure out if you still feel this way in late 2024. But yes, it's going to be ROUGHGOING for a long time. Do you hate getting out of bed even more? Do you feel like the best times are asleep? Crying and depressed? Wondering what she is up to? I know all about it.

I know how you feel. I've been there (except it was boyfriends, not girlfriends). But there are 4 billion women on the planet, and about 200 million (1 in 20) will be close to your age. That's a lot of girls. There will certainly be many who are just as good for you as your former girlfriend. There will be some who are better. All you have to do is find one of them. My advice would be to wait for a few months, and see how you feel then.

This is nice-sounding but it doesn't work for men in 2023. I don't know of a country that has 200 million women in it in a small age-range. If op isn't goodlooking, you can discount 60% of them. If he is below-average, you can discount 95% of them. And it's not easy to meet them all. There are many women out there better than his ex-gf but they need to find him attractive and vice-versa.

"All you have to do is find them"

If life worked like this, I wouldn't need this website.

Your heart is in the right place but the world is not a good place. Not as good as you make it seem.

 

[depressedlover]

I understand how you feel,i am currently in a situation where i feel only Ctb will reunite me with my late fiancé.Why do i want to do it?I feel empty because he was the only real person around me,no friends.I would prefer to break up with him rather than have him dead.Give it sometimes and see how it goes,don't rush.In my case they say grieving gets easier by time but i feel it hasn't ,that's the reason i feel like Ctb.

 

[enviro400mmc]

Few things hurt more than being dumped, regardless of whether it has anything to do with you or not. I'm sorry you feel the way you do and wish you the best. It's definitely worth giving it a few months before you really do anything (or expect yourself to do anything), breakups can have people feeling impulsive.

 

[CandyCane]

IMHO absolutely no CTB over breakups! This is temporary and will pass. It really, really hurts though. It's the most vulnerable human things we can experience.

I know this sounds weird but I look back at the biggest heartbreak of my life with interest. I was so broken that I felt alive.

It was the first big breakup. The rest were easier.

 

[orca87]

"All you have to do is find them"

If life worked like this, I wouldn't need this website.

Your heart is in the right place but the world is not a good place. Not as good as you make it seem.

It's not that the world is good.

It's the part of "you have to do" that makes it "bad".
Good news is there is a chance (if – and only if – you take action).

No matter how hard you try, the outcome is not guaranteed.

But if you stop trying, the outcome IS guaranteed.

 

[SoftWorries]

From my perspective though the stats make it seem difficult for men to meet women (which is very difficult when meeting women online) most of the women I know are dating men that had the confidence to ask them out (just not at bars and clubs).

This includes group activities, dog parks, outdoor music shows etc.

I think you should join a bunch of groups maybe on Meetup.com. In the writing group I'm part of three different couples have been formed.

There's lots of people that could understand you. It does take work however. You've got to realize that neither gender wants to deal with someone's depression or darkness either. Trauma bonding is not the way to have a healthy long term relationship. If the dark sides of you were what she understood I'd suggest trying to get help while putting yourself out there.

We need more Avatar brothers alive. It would be nice if you stuck around. If not I hope it's a soft fall.

 

[whatevs]

It sounds like she is not over him and is holding out for a chance at rekindling with him. Whatever happens, it seems like you aren't coming out winning here. Even if she gets back with you, it's more out of going back to where she has some foundations rather than starting completely from new. And you will always be 2nd prize. She will grow to resent you. You represent the fact that she couldn't be with her first choice. If you rekindle with her, you won't last too long with her.

I would say it is not worth CTBing over a breakup but with a caveat:

For most men under a 5/10 in looks or sexual-market value, a breakup represents not just losing one woman but losing potentially the only woman you will ever find who loved you. This is hard for average or goodlooking men or any women to understand, but in 2023, a lot of men find getting into a relationship hard. Women's standards have gone up thanks to social media and online-dating and having 1000s of men at their disposal.

Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

Sexual activity among young American men has declined sharply since 2000, with nearly a third reporting no sex with a partner in the prior year, according to a survey study published on Friday that suggests social media and electronic gaming might be filling the void.

www.reuters.com

So, if you @PongoHangs are not that attractive, have autism, or your life is generally one where women don't gravitate to you, then you do have to ask yourself some questions. But if you can get another girlfriend in the next year for sure, then I would recommend you stick around.

Give yourself a year at least to figure out if you still feel this way in late 2024. But yes, it's going to be ROUGHGOING for a long time. Do you hate getting out of bed even more? Do you feel like the best times are asleep? Crying and depressed? Wondering what she is up to? I know all about it.


This is nice-sounding but it doesn't work for men in 2023. I don't know of a country that has 200 million women in it in a small age-range. If op isn't goodlooking, you can discount 60% of them. If he is below-average, you can discount 95% of them. And it's not easy to meet them all. There are many women out there better than his ex-gf but they need to find him attractive and vice-versa.

"All you have to do is find them"

If life worked like this, I wouldn't need this website.

Your heart is in the right place but the world is not a good place. Not as good as you make it seem.

Nice based posts. Somebody has to say it. And repeat it over and over again.

 

[ChildrensITV]

Nice based posts. Somebody has to say it. And repeat it over and over again.

 

[justastranger]

Don't CTB over a breakup. It hurts a lot, and it can literally kill you inside if you let it. Is this your first breakup by any chance? I'm not going to say there are other people out there, because I get that sometimes no one can replace that one person. I get that people CTB because trauma, literally not being able to live anymore, but don't do it over a person. Hope you get over her soon.