my future plans: worst and best case scenarios

[lavenderlilylies]

I know this isn't of anybody's interest, but I wanted to put my plans into text. feel free to critique or judge, I'm not so sure about them anyway.

If nothing goes extremely sideways, I'll be graduating within a year. I've grown to realize my options are pretty limited, so the best scenario for me is a mere compromise, if i can't even have that, I'm going to ctb.

Ideally, I want to get married as soon as possible. In my case the only way for me to leave my parents house without completely breaking ties with everyone I know is to get married (arranged marriage probably in my case). Thankfully, I'm bisexual, so i can see a future where i at least can tolerate marrying a random man. There are a lot of issues with that, which I'll get into, but anything is better than spending the rest of my life here. But of course, I'll most likely be pretending to be someone I'm not for the rest of my life.

It's a far fetched dream for me to find someone I'm compatible with. Or even someone who'll marry me for me not just to have a child making machine. So I'm not wishing for love when I'm not even sure a guy would settle for me in the first place. Especially that my boundaries might be considered radical, them being:
1. Share expenses AND domestic labor
2. To have a conversation and actually think, plan, and decide before reproducing
3. I don't want any children, but that's impossible, so 2 max
4. More freedom in things I'm allowed to wear
5. To wait at least a year before having kids (could be the dealbreaker for a lot of them)

My stance on children is: i love kids, i know I'm patient with them and in a perfect world i would've 100% loved to have them. But we don't live in a perfect world.
I know my decision might be selfish to some, to have kids although I believe this world isn't fit for them, I'm only willing to have a child when I know I can provide for them and my actual desires to not have them isn't coming out of a place of not being capable or not wanting to raise kids. I do feel guilty for going against my beliefs but if I don't find a man who also doesn't want kids, I will do everything I can to give them a better life than mine.

So I'm giving myself a year after graduating, if this doesn't happen and I'm still here with no way out, I'm going to ctb.

 

[midstarscream]

I want to share my plans as well.

The next few months will be hectic for me. I am applying to a masters degree, for various programs across the world. I also have my job, which is quite stressful on the bad days. My cousin is my age and is already getting married. I'm sure questions and taunts are going to pour in from stupid fucking relatives- when am I going to marry?

Never! Not in another 5-10 years or so. I'm 24 right now. The only thing keeping me on this world are my parents and my sister. I have a friend (with benefits) who would probably miss me if I CTB'ed, so there's that. Also, I developed this bald patch on my head because of taking excessive stress from my previous breakup and all the exams I had to write for applying to a masters degree.

So my plan is that, if I'm continuously getting unhappier, by March, 2025, I will CTB. I already have my SN, which has been left sealed and unopened.

 

[lavenderlilylies]

I want to share my plans as well.

The next few months will be hectic for me. I am applying to a masters degree, for various programs across the world. I also have my job, which is quite stressful on the bad days. My cousin is my age and is already getting married. I'm sure questions and taunts are going to pour in from stupid fucking relatives- when am I going to marry?

Never! Not in another 5-10 years or so. I'm 24 right now. The only thing keeping me on this world are my parents and my sister. I have a friend (with benefits) who would probably miss me if I CTB'ed, so there's that. Also, I developed this bald patch on my head because of taking excessive stress from my previous breakup and all the exams I had to write for applying to a masters degree.

So my plan is that, if I'm continuously getting unhappier, by March, 2025, I will CTB. I already have my SN, which has been left sealed and unopened.

Honestly I would've loved to postpone my plans and drown myself in studying more, especially since it could buy me time to gather the courage to become independent without having to get married. But a masters degree takes more money than I can afford.
I hope you get accepted in the program you want in a beautiful country and for things to go the way you wish for.

 

[j1nxxb0yjj4ke]

I also wanna share my plans :3

I ordered my SN and it should arrive by Tuesday, I think.

But if I don't do it in the following days after I get it, my plans would look like this:

I'm 21, turned 21 on Aug 24th.
I currently do a voluntary social year (FSJ in German), started on 01.09.2024, it would end on 31.08.2025.
It's for (re-)doing/completing my high school diploma.
I would like to absolve it and have my high school diploma.
Study fashion design and finance, probably online,
Move to Berlin for a year or 6 months, then London.
Then maybe the States after some years in London.

In my free time, I love to make music (krushclub/scenecore, shoegaze/indie/alt grunge rock, metalcore/deathcore, emo trap/rap).
I currently work on krushclub/scenecore music.
I wanna make it big, really, also with the other genres.
I wanna be an artist, well-known, famous, popular, rich.

I also love tattoos, designing clothes. Both which I do.
I started designing clothes last year and I'd love to own a shop, have my own brand, be known and successful.
I just got my own tattoo gun but its just for myself, but I still wanna make it a side thing, when I'm good enough.

I want to be a part time actor, make a movie about my own life.
Play in movies.
I want to write a book about my life too maybe.

I wanna stream and make videos, on Twitch and YouTube.


I just want to be creative and make money.

I am also trans, ftm, I would get my T probably this year, after 5 years..
My dad just screamed at me and insulted me because I brought up the name Jake, which everyone calls me, except my family.

I wanna transition, get growth hormones, get fully tattooed.
I wanna be the hottest man alive, get the title yk?
Be a looksmax legend, a new PSL/beauty standard.

I would like to model part time too.

I wanna become and be my perfect, desired self.
Living my perfect, desired life.

Marry, have kids.
I know this girl and love her, I want to marry her one day.
She feels the same, but isn't too sure because ..life, love.

I want 2 or 3 kids.
When I'm successful and can provide them a nice life.

I believe in manifestation, reality shifting, The Law of Assumption.
So yes, I believe this is all possible.

 

[HenryHenriksen_6E]

So my plan is that, if I'm continuously getting unhappier, by March, 2025, I will CTB.

Damn, March 2025 is around the time I'm planning to exit, unless I don't feel ready that is.

 

[lavenderlilylies]

I also wanna share my plans :3

I ordered my SN and it should arrive by Tuesday, I think.

But if I don't do it in the following days after I get it, my plans would look like this:

I'm 21, turned 21 on Aug 24th.
I currently do a voluntary social year (FSJ in German), started on 01.09.2024, it would end on 31.08.2025.
It's for (re-)doing/completing my high school diploma.
I would like to absolve it and have my high school diploma.
Study fashion design and finance, probably online,
Move to Berlin for a year or 6 months, then London.
Then maybe the States after some years in London.

In my free time, I love to make music (krushclub/scenecore, shoegaze/indie/alt grunge rock, metalcore/deathcore, emo trap/rap).
I currently work on krushclub/scenecore music.
I wanna make it big, really, also with the other genres.
I wanna be an artist, well-known, famous, popular, rich.

I also love tattoos, designing clothes. Both which I do.
I started designing clothes last year and I'd love to own a shop, have my own brand, be known and successful.
I just got my own tattoo gun but its just for myself, but I still wanna make it a side thing, when I'm good enough.

I want to be a part time actor, make a movie about my own life.
Play in movies.
I want to write a book about my life too maybe.

I wanna stream and make videos, on Twitch and YouTube.


I just want to be creative and make money.

I am also trans, ftm, I would get my T probably this year, after 5 years..
My dad just screamed at me and insulted me because I brought up the name Jake, which everyone calls me, except my family.

I wanna transition, get growth hormones, get fully tattooed.
I wanna be the hottest man alive, get the title yk?
Be a looksmax legend, a new PSL/beauty standard.

I would like to model part time too.

I wanna become and be my perfect, desired self.
Living my perfect, desired life.

Marry, have kids.
I know this girl and love her, I want to marry her one day.
She feels the same, but isn't too sure because ..life, love.

I want 2 or 3 kids.
When I'm successful and can provide them a nice life.

I believe in manifestation, reality shifting, The Law of Assumption.
So yes, I believe this is all possible.

hope all your plans come to fruition, and i'd love to give your music a listen if you're comfortable sharing.