Venting My further step..

[Pk95]

May be I need to vent. I thought it's better to take help from like-minded individuals. I decided to ctb before 1 month. I planned some things. I left my job in a nearby city, stayed with my parents. Now also, staying with them.i thought to plan with amitriptyline cocktail. I have collected some amitriptyline (1.7 gm) , anti-emetics. Didnt yet collect benzos , cimetidine. But, I had 750 ml vodka. I have gathered it, Incase I need it. I told myself I will take care of my death. You know, if I can't convince my self about that point, I feel like crap , still depending on my parents, have no work to do. But , I convinced myself I am going to ctb soon, so not going to trouble them that much. Whenever I used to feel like crap, I used to convince myself and ofcourse that's true ,.Am going to ctb soon. It's 2 months since I came here. I stay in India. I live in a town. Here, my parents' generation have no problem with keeping their grown-up children in their home particularly girls . I have to exit fast. But, I can't ctb till 10 days since relatives are there in my parents house. I am just thinking If it is better to go back to that city, take-up my job. Support my self and then do whatever I want to. I will have my self-respect. Again I was thinking I will end it soon now itself with out going to that city, job . Maybe I lost my cool. I am not understanding what to do.
Edit: I am sinking down. I don't want to drag another person with me. My parents , family anyone. I feel like I am showing this frustration on my parents unknowingly. I am unable to convince myself any longer or soothe myself .. that I will be ok. Came here before 2 months. Spent 1month without doing anything. Next month ,started collecting resources. Human life is miserable. I went through this once, me jobless, feeling frustrated, close people accusing and belittling me on this, disputes in family, emotional trauma . I thought I know that, so will avoid that if it appears in my life again. Here I am today taking the first step of this vicious circle. I think shifting to other method (hanging) would suffice my need and help me.

 

[PatKat]

May be I need to vent. I thought it's better to take help from like-minded individuals. I decided to ctb before 1 month. I planned some things. I left my job in a nearby city, stayed with my parents. Now also, staying with them.i thought to plan with amitriptyline cocktail. I have collected some amitriptyline (1.7 gm) , anti-emetics. Didnt yet collect benzos , cimetidine. But, I had 750 ml vodka. I have gathered it, Incase I need it. I told myself I will take care of my death. You know, if I can't convince my self about that point, I feel like crap , still depending on my parents, have no work to do. But , I convinced myself I am going to ctb soon, so not going to trouble them that much. Whenever I used to feel like crap, I used to convince myself and ofcourse that's true ,.Am going to ctb soon. It's 2 months since I came here. I stay in India. I live in a town. Here, my parents' generation have no problem with keeping their grown-up children in their home particularly girls . I have to exit fast. But, I can't ctb till 10 days since relatives are there in my parents house. I am just thinking If it is better to go back to that city, take-up my job. Support my self and then do whatever I want to. I will have my self-respect. Again I was thinking I will end it soon now itself with out going to that city, job . Maybe I lost my cool. I am not understanding what to do.

Not sure on this method what is its % of success?

 

[Pk95]

Not sure on this method what is its % of success?

I think 7 out of 10. I have seen that it is reliable if the exact procedure is followed.

 

[PatKat]

I think 7 out of 10. I have seen that it is reliable if the exact procedure is followed.

http://lostallhope.com/suicide-methods/statistics-most-lethal-methods

 

[Pk95]

I don't remember the exact source but I have see in random places, it might be reliable only if taken with cimetidine since it makes amitriptyline act fast. Else this cocktail takes 24-36 hrs. But , with cimetidine max. 15 hrs if I remember correctly. I believed it and started planning

 

[RM5998]

I don't remember the exact source but I have see in random places, it might be reliable only if taken with cimetidine since it makes amitriptyline act fast. Else this cocktail takes 24-36 hrs. But , with cimetidine max. 15 hrs if I remember correctly. I believed it and started planning

If you have people who regularly check on you and want you to stay alive, you need to use a faster method. You said that you're living with your parents, so odds are this won't work out. You'll get sent to the hospital, and in the worst case scenario, end up a vegetable.

If you want to go ahead with this, know that benzos work best if you also tie a bag over your head. You'll go to sleep and suffocate while unconscious. That's what one of my friends did, and he did succeed.

 

[Pk95]

If you have people who regularly check on you and want you to stay alive, you need to use a faster method. You said that you're living with your parents, so odds are this won't work out. You'll get sent to the hospital, and in the worst case scenario, end up a vegetable.

If you want to go ahead with this, know that benzos work best if you also tie a bag over your head. You'll go to sleep and suffocate while unconscious. That's what one of my friends did, and he did succeed.

I am thinking to make it look like a accident. So, I am hesitating a bit. I will think over that .Thanks.

 

[Ashpac]

The only ways that can look an accident are drowning in a bath or lake, or an accidental drug overdose.

Just depends what youre comfortable with :)

 

[Pk95]

The only ways that can look an accident are drowning in a bath or lake, or an accidental drug overdose.

Just depends what youre comfortable with :)

Seen somewhere that some suicides with amit cocktail appear like a natural death.. death in sleep , (will add source if I came across it again) although I have to agree that we shouldn't be found for a good amount of time. I am shifting between amit cocktail and partial suspension (if I decide completely to not make it look like accident).

 

[Ashpac]

My number 1 method is SN. My plan B method is partial hanging. Already got my pull up bar sorted for that and the rope thats already got a slipknot tied ready for me to use.

The things you have to do to be happy huh

 

[Pk95]

Got everything ready..
Good luck with that

 

[Ashpac]

If I wasnt in debt and had my SN right now id drink it in water in a heartbeat.

I just made this up yesterday ''Roses are red violets are blue, Life can fuck itself and so can Death too''

Its seems appropriate for this conversation.

 

[Pk95]

I just made this up yesterday ''Roses are red violets are blue, Life can fuck itself and so can Death too''

Haha. True