Venting My friend said i was a narcissist and I'm scared i am.

[NightshadeDreamer]

My friend with BPD got mad at me for not checking in on her enough or spending time with her. She said I dump all my problems on her, but i was just explaining what I was going through. I was the one to visit her in respite care and let her talk about her problems and suppored her through her stuff. I have a friend very close to whos baby just died and I said I was struggling with a lot, and apparently I'm a narcissist because I called her out on hypocrisy and she doesn't like how I've changed. Idk what to do because now I'm so scared I'm a horrible person and that maybe I am just a narcissistic piece of crap.

 

[enviro400mmc]

Being scared you're a narcissist is like feeling anxious that you are an overly relaxed person; it's an oxymoron. The fact you put so much thought into your actions and how you treat others must show you are at least somewhat of a caring person.

 

[NightshadeDreamer]

Being scared you're a narcissist is like feeling anxious that you are an overly relaxed person; it's an oxymoron. The fact you put so much thought into your actions and how you treat others must show you are at least somewhat of a caring person.

Thank you, you've made pretty valid point. I was so hurt by what they said and I believed them.

 

[Myers]

Usually narcissist don't care about anyone unless it benefits them in a way. Reading what you just wrote , I can tell you care about this friend enough to have visited them , that's a very nice thing to do that YOU decided to do on your own free will. I think based off of this you're a nice person and I don't think you have to worry about being a narcissist :)

 

[Rocinante]

She has tell-tale signs of narcissism

My friend with BPD got mad at me for not checking in on her enough or spending time with her.

Controlling and wanting to dictate what you do. I.e you should be putting more time towards her than yourself and others

She said I dump all my problems on her, but i was just explaining what I was going through. I was the one to visit her in respite care and let her talk about her problems and suppored her through her stuff. I have a friend very close to whos baby just died and I said I was struggling with a lot, and apparently I'm a narcissist because I called her out on hypocrisy and she doesn't like how I've changed. Idk what to do because now I'm so scared I'm a horrible person and that maybe I am just a narcissistic piece of crap.

It seems like this person has set expectations of you, but when you're in need of support it's not their problem.
I went through this over the course of a few months. It's better to drop this person and move on. Doesn't matter how close. In my situation he was like a brother to me, so it hurts. But you'll get over it.
We live in a world full of people who do not have your best interest at heart. You will be used and abused, so enjoy the moment because nothing is guaranteed afterward. I put my trust in someone, and it destroyed me.

 

[NightshadeDreamer]

Usually narcissist don't care about anyone unless it benefits them in a way. Reading what you just wrote , I can tell you care about this friend enough to have visited them , that's a very nice thing to do that YOU decided to do on your own free will. I think based off of this you're a nice person and I don't think you have to worry about being a narcissist :)

I took the day off work and trained then walked to see them. At the time, they were my second friend in respite care. I visited two people in respite that week. It really hurts. Because I feel things deeply. But thank you for your kind words.

She has tell-tale signs of narcissism

Controlling and wanting to dictate what you do. I.e you should be putting more time towards her than yourself and others

It seems like this person has set expectations of you, but when you're in need of support it's not their problem.
I went through this over the course of a few months. It's better to drop this person and move on. Doesn't matter how close. In my situation he was like a brother to me, so it hurts. But you'll get over it.
We live in a world full of people who do not have your best interest at heart. You will be used and abused, so enjoy the moment because nothing is guaranteed afterward. I put my trust in someone, and it destroyed me.

I'm sorry to hear about your experience. That must have been really hard on you, especially someone who you considered a brother to you. I appreciate your story, because it helps to see a different side.

 

[Unattainable666]

My friend with BPD got mad at me for not checking in on her enough or spending time with her. She said I dump all my problems on her, but i was just explaining what I was going through. I was the one to visit her in respite care and let her talk about her problems and suppored her through her stuff. I have a friend very close to whos baby just died and I said I was struggling with a lot, and apparently I'm a narcissist because I called her out on hypocrisy and she doesn't like how I've changed. Idk what to do because now I'm so scared I'm a horrible person and that maybe I am just a narcissistic piece of crap.

I was raised by a narc, married to a narc and got out of a relationship with a narc. I"ve done numerous hours of research and for your to say you are afraid you are a horrible person - trust e you are NOT a narc. Maybe a bit self centered (not a bad thing) but again NOT a narc.

 

[NightshadeDreamer]

I was raised by a narc, married to a narc and got out of a relationship with a narc. I"ve done numerous hours of research and for your to say you are afraid you are a horrible person - trust e you are NOT a narc. Maybe a bit self centered (not a bad thing) but again NOT a narc.

I guess everyone has the ability to be a bit self centered right. I'm sorry you have had so much experience with narcs. I'm glad you got away from them.

 

[Unattainable666]

I guess everyone has the ability to be a bit self centered right. I'm sorry you have had so much experience with narcs. I'm glad you got away from them.

Thank you. I actually met him on this site. Everyone is a bit self-centered I think that's healthy. Hell, if we don't take care of ourselves who will?

 

[NightshadeDreamer]

Thank you. I actually met him on this site. Everyone is a bit self-centered I think that's healthy. Hell, if we don't take care of ourselves who will?

That's even more heartbreaking you met them here. But you deserve better. Of course we have to take care of ourselves otherwise we get walked all over.

 

[Unattainable666]

That's even more heartbreaking you met them here. But you deserve better. Of course we have to take care of ourselves otherwise we get walked all over.

Just know that whoever told you that you were a narc is flat out wrong. I wish there were more caring people like you in the world - there would be less people wanting to ctb.

 

[NightshadeDreamer]

Just know that whoever told you that you were a narc is flat out wrong. I wish there were more caring people like you in the world - there would be less people wanting to ctb.

Here any time!