I've not-so-recently discovered my epilepsy meds make me high. That is a new addition to the salad, taken with the previous salad, this unholy arrangement of chemicals makes me high.
I've recently discovered why this new addition is making me high: a massive drop in sodium. There's a fancy name for it, but for the life of me, I can't find it right now.
Despite shoveling burgers and fries into my mouth, it keeps happening. I couldn't get a medical discount in McDonald's or Burger King. As I've mentioned in a previous thread, a fucking PROFESSOR told me to go to McDonald's. He was serious. Weirdly enough, it does help, but I'm in a situation where I can't eat an hour before or an hour after having taken the pills. I'll give Dr. Mario over there a little credit, McDonald's is decidedly better than sodium pills. Even with extra salt on the patty and the fries. Burger King is just very... cleansing... yes, cleansing... let's go with "cleansing"...
Anyways, during my trip to the hospital, they put an IV in me and hooked me up to a bag of clear liquid (I think it's called saline?) which:
A) Made me feel better almost immediately.
B) Made me piss like a fire hydrant.
A nice Russian doctor showed up before Dr. Mario, we chatted for a bit, she had this blue "injection makeup" on by the ton, which, when I had blurry vision, had me extra scared because I was confused and she looked like a goddamn smurf.
ANYWAYS...
She said I nearly died.
Let's do some comparing: a standard (small) bag of chips has 153mg of sodium. I was down to 127mg. The death zone is 125mg and below. Since this is a common theme with this particular medicine (which is NOT a method I would recommend. Not now, at least), I've read reports of people recovering from as low as 99mg. Of course, they also ended up in a hospital, hooked up to a bunch of IVs, enough to look like they're cosplaying a hedgehog.
Apparently, I drank too much water which contributed to diluting the sodium, and then took the meds, which contributed to the massive sodium drop even further.
So, during my stay in ER, before being moved to a higher... plane... of being watched over, I asked if I can go outside for a cigarette. The good doctor allowed it. However, what I didn't think of is what would happen if I went out without a bag. It ran out before I asked for that ciggie, when I was still in bed and not moving much.
Had another big drop outside. Basically crawled back to my bed in ER and started begging for another bag of piss inducing liquid. It is then I've started observing myself, and... kind of submitted to death. I've seen my life flash before me (in shit resolution, none-the-less) and... it was OK-ish. Not great, I didn't grow into some massive Dubai level of a rich guy, but... until epilepsy hit, it was OK. I've seen my childhood, I've remembered what my mother did for me and how she contributed to my growing up, I've seen my parents loving me, or at least that's how I understood it.
I've also seen the racism I got through during grade school and highschool, but I powered through it like a champ. Mostly because I had no concept of racism during that time.
I've relaxed. I turned ready to my death. I've accepted it. It was a very serene, very magical moment.
I wonder now if that's how you develop a kink and if ctb would be similar or even the same - those last few conscious minutes.
So yeah, my first proper brush with death - an oddly magical, calm, serene, and weirdly pleasant moment
I've recently discovered why this new addition is making me high: a massive drop in sodium. There's a fancy name for it, but for the life of me, I can't find it right now.
Despite shoveling burgers and fries into my mouth, it keeps happening. I couldn't get a medical discount in McDonald's or Burger King. As I've mentioned in a previous thread, a fucking PROFESSOR told me to go to McDonald's. He was serious. Weirdly enough, it does help, but I'm in a situation where I can't eat an hour before or an hour after having taken the pills. I'll give Dr. Mario over there a little credit, McDonald's is decidedly better than sodium pills. Even with extra salt on the patty and the fries. Burger King is just very... cleansing... yes, cleansing... let's go with "cleansing"...
Anyways, during my trip to the hospital, they put an IV in me and hooked me up to a bag of clear liquid (I think it's called saline?) which:
A) Made me feel better almost immediately.
B) Made me piss like a fire hydrant.
A nice Russian doctor showed up before Dr. Mario, we chatted for a bit, she had this blue "injection makeup" on by the ton, which, when I had blurry vision, had me extra scared because I was confused and she looked like a goddamn smurf.
ANYWAYS...
She said I nearly died.
Let's do some comparing: a standard (small) bag of chips has 153mg of sodium. I was down to 127mg. The death zone is 125mg and below. Since this is a common theme with this particular medicine (which is NOT a method I would recommend. Not now, at least), I've read reports of people recovering from as low as 99mg. Of course, they also ended up in a hospital, hooked up to a bunch of IVs, enough to look like they're cosplaying a hedgehog.
Apparently, I drank too much water which contributed to diluting the sodium, and then took the meds, which contributed to the massive sodium drop even further.
So, during my stay in ER, before being moved to a higher... plane... of being watched over, I asked if I can go outside for a cigarette. The good doctor allowed it. However, what I didn't think of is what would happen if I went out without a bag. It ran out before I asked for that ciggie, when I was still in bed and not moving much.
Had another big drop outside. Basically crawled back to my bed in ER and started begging for another bag of piss inducing liquid. It is then I've started observing myself, and... kind of submitted to death. I've seen my life flash before me (in shit resolution, none-the-less) and... it was OK-ish. Not great, I didn't grow into some massive Dubai level of a rich guy, but... until epilepsy hit, it was OK. I've seen my childhood, I've remembered what my mother did for me and how she contributed to my growing up, I've seen my parents loving me, or at least that's how I understood it.
I've also seen the racism I got through during grade school and highschool, but I powered through it like a champ. Mostly because I had no concept of racism during that time.
I've relaxed. I turned ready to my death. I've accepted it. It was a very serene, very magical moment.
I wonder now if that's how you develop a kink and if ctb would be similar or even the same - those last few conscious minutes.
So yeah, my first proper brush with death - an oddly magical, calm, serene, and weirdly pleasant moment
