Venting My first post as a loser

[serpiente]

Hi everyone, i am supposed to marry this december, i love my boyfriend. But I cannot stop having this desire of ending everything. I dream several methos and the afterlife in a limbro over a carpet that seemed from the Alladins movie. From hanging, to being electrocuted touching a high tension cable in porpouse. And recently an obession over self mutilation and body modification to feel pain because in my mind it feels good and relieves me somehow. I dont know if i am suicidal. But the idea of death and how I pass thorugh methods and trying to imagine the feeling of each one but as always, there are two main reasons i never have attemted: fail it and ending as vegetable. And what is after death. I wish there was nothing, but i feel so afraid that there is something.

Thank you for reading.

 

[Soul]

Hello @serpiente. I'm sorry you're troubled by what sounds like obsessive thoughts about painful ways to die. I'm not sure I understand about self-mutilation and body modification - are you actually doing that, or just thinking about it?

Either way, do you have any ideas about why you're thinking about causing yourself pain? Do you have anyone you can talk with about it in real life?

Be careful, okay? (((Hugs))) with a little ₪ pinch ₪ if you like that better 8]