ForeverCaHa
Heartbroken Welshman
- Feb 16, 2025
- 411
Let's see who this feel.s It's now almost 4am and I'm zonked out on the pills from my crisis team, but I've decided I'll give life one final shot. I won't give up on my PhD. I'll become Dr *real name* out of spite for all those who didn't think I'd make it here.
My first steps in recovery have been to schedule some language classes. Studying languages is my biggest hobby, hopefully it can light something inside me. Spanish --> Chinese --> Catalan. If anyone here speaks those languages, please get in touch. It would be great to get an exchange partner!!
I've also bought a new outfit, a few pieces from a suicide prevention charity I'll list below. They're got some cute designs, and are reasonably priced. If I see you wearing their merch, we can make a quick suicidal glance at each other before returning to scream at strangers to sell us SN (or not, this is recovery after all!).
I want to feel handsome again. I want to feel like how I felt last year, happily posing in my graduation gowns. I felt beautiful for the first time in ever. I know I can do it again.
Anyway, I really am going to try. It's been the most painful few months. But I will try my damndest. I always do. I just hope I don't land back in the murky waters again. I fear my attempt at that time wouldn't be just an attempt.
None of this is to say I've forgotten my partner. He will always be a part of me, and I hope he's cheering me on. I'll be there when I get there, honey, just please be a bit more patient.
My first steps in recovery have been to schedule some language classes. Studying languages is my biggest hobby, hopefully it can light something inside me. Spanish --> Chinese --> Catalan. If anyone here speaks those languages, please get in touch. It would be great to get an exchange partner!!
I've also bought a new outfit, a few pieces from a suicide prevention charity I'll list below. They're got some cute designs, and are reasonably priced. If I see you wearing their merch, we can make a quick suicidal glance at each other before returning to scream at strangers to sell us SN (or not, this is recovery after all!).
I want to feel handsome again. I want to feel like how I felt last year, happily posing in my graduation gowns. I felt beautiful for the first time in ever. I know I can do it again.
Anyway, I really am going to try. It's been the most painful few months. But I will try my damndest. I always do. I just hope I don't land back in the murky waters again. I fear my attempt at that time wouldn't be just an attempt.
None of this is to say I've forgotten my partner. He will always be a part of me, and I hope he's cheering me on. I'll be there when I get there, honey, just please be a bit more patient.
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