My final thoughts.

[RedDEE]

I have a huge weight on my shoulders. I live with the awareness that I am all people in the entire world, entire universe, entire multi-verse, and every dimension.

I know you'll call me crazy. But I am God. And I am Satan. And I am Jesus. And I am Buddha. I live with awareness that within my one body, mind and conciousness exists infinite minds, bodies, and conciousnesses. That I contain all, I am all and sometimes I am nothing.

It's a hard fact of life, that life sucks. And since I am everybody, everyone looks to me for happiness. If I am unhappy, my father and mother and lover are also unhappy, because I am everyone and they are me so our happiness is intrinsically connected.

I've tried every method to obtain peace. Every. Single. One. Vegan diet. Religion. Yoga. Meditation. Many many drugs.Psychiatric help. Hypnosis. Binural beats. Standing on my head while drinking water.

The point is, I realize in my life peace is not possible but in my death, what comes after will certaintly be peace. My life is completely in the gutters, every attempt I made to find peace has backfired in my face and only made life worse. Took LSD, had bad trips. Went to the doctor, got bad prescriptions with bad side effects. Tried meditation, got a bad back.

I shook a magical 8-ball and it told me "all signs say suicide leads to happiness".

But back to my original thought. I have to be sacrificial lamb for my people (all of you). And god damnit, I dont want to be. I didn't sign up for this shit. But alas I must. Who else would? Who else could, but me? The king of suffering. He who absorbs all suffering so noone else has to. Me.

So there you have it, folks. If I want my momma and pappy to be happy, to keep on livin sure aint gonna make that happen. So I must die, for you. So you can be happy, I must destroy an entire multiverse of beings. Every. Living. Being. Ever. I am that. And that I must kill, for we do not want to live forever, because a young death is better than an eternity of existence.

The end.

 

[lostangel]

I hope you can be at peace. But when you say ''I am all people in the entire world'' it reminds me of the ''egg'' concept. I wish you the best nonetheless.

 

[Sensei]

If you honestly feel that you're everybody and nobody, that you're one with everybody and everything, and a prophet and a destroyer of worlds, maybe it would be better to help your fellow human beings here and now instead of making a sacrifice no one has asked for. Just my two cents. It's your life and only you know what to do with it.

 

[RedDEE]

If you honestly feel that you're everybody and nobody, that you're one with everybody and everything, and a prophet and a destroyer of worlds, maybe it would be better to help your fellow human beings here and now instead of making a sacrifice no one has asked for. Just my two cents. It's your life and only you know what to do with it.

Well the problem is - my sacrifice has been asked for. By all the gods, demons, and humans. And my life is beyond the point of repair for me and my family and even though I asked not for this sacrafice - I shall take it, both in shame and humility.

 

[yetme]

I have a huge weight on my shoulders. I live with the awareness that I am all people in the entire world, entire universe, entire multi-verse, and every dimension.

if you're all the people in the world, so when you kill yourself wouldn't it be like a super mass-murder or something?

 

[RedDEE]

if you're all the people in the world, so when you kill yourself wouldn't it be like a super mass-murder or something?

It's called cosmi-cide. When everyone in the entire cosmos commits suicide. Every death is actually a suicide. We die out of our free will. God/Satan gives us the option to live forever if we so wish, but literally noone chooses that.

Here's a little song by the band Cosmicide