VoloFataliDoce

VoloFataliDoce

The World Is Quiet Here
Jan 23, 2019
114
I wanted to share my experience with attempted Yew poisoning in the hopes that it will be of use to someone - for a purely academic purpose, of course. Obviously, I screwed up somewhere, so maybe someone here can figure out the cause of failure and not repeat it. Try not to make fun of me too terribly.

About a month ago I tried to CTB with this method. I'd read quite a bit on another website about Yew and how it was very toxic and would likely result in a quick death. I bought roughly a pound of Taxus Baccata (English Yew) seeds to make into a tincture. At the time I did the math and the number of seeds equaled out to much higher than the LD50 dose. I made the tincture as follows:

I crushed the seeds, put them in a large glass jar (I want to say it was a half-gallon jar - very large), and filled to the top with brandy. It was the strongest alcohol I had access to at the time, but a stronger one may have worked better.

After letting it sit for a month, shaking the jar every few days, I strained the seeds out through cheesecloth and simmered the liquid to try and get most of the alcohol out. It reduced to about 1/2 cup of liquid. I poured it into a clean jar and let it sit a few days longer.

The day I had meant to CTB, I took 30mg Metoclopramide every few hours. When it came time to do the deed, I was very anxious. My survival instinct was not about to let me drink this concoction, so I took two Klonopin and waited a bit. I calmed down after awhile and drank it in a few gulps. It was the worst thing I have ever tasted - very bitter and dry. If that's anything near what Nembutal tastes like I really do feel for the people that have to drink it. I drank a few sips of water to try and get the taste out of my mouth and laid down.

My heart was racing and I started to get very dizzy and tired. Other than that I didn't have any pain. I can't tell you with certainty how much time had passed, but it felt like at least an hour. I started to feel nauseous and the mixture just "came up". It wasn't puking like you'd typically think of. My reflex to wretch and gag was not there (probably the work of the Meto), but it went on forever. It felt like my stomach was empty and yet it would somehow find more to throw up.

I eventually went to sleep and woke up the next morning, very much alive. My heart was still racing and I was dizzy and lightheaded until dinnertime that evening. It wasn't exactly a pleasant experience, but not terrible considering how some overdoses go. I truly thought I would die when I drank it, so it was a disappointment that this method didn't work. I'm still emotionally drained from having attempted.

I have a few theories as to what I did wrong. The first and favorite theory is that the alcohol I used should have been stronger and I should have made certain that all of the alcohol was out of the mixture. I tasted some when I drank it, but it wasn't nearly as strong as what it should have been. Another theory is that I had the wrong kind of anti-emetic. I'm doubtful as to this one, but don't know enough to disprove it. I sincerely doubt that I didn't use enough seeds; if anything I probably used too many. There are reports of people dying from eating a handful of leaves - perhaps they weren't entirely accurate. At any rate, hopefully this will help someone else not to repeat my mistakes.

Feel free to ask any questions if you have them.
 
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J.E. Morrow

J.E. Morrow

Member
Jan 8, 2019
71
Thank you for sharing your experience, I haven't heard of that method before. How did you find out about it?
 
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C

crova

Making death amazing journey
Oct 7, 2018
377
Yew poisoning was my first choice for exit once. I read quite a bit about this method.
What would my my advice to anyone trying it in the future is - collect your yew needles by yourself.

And if you are in UK now - this is the best time of the year, when the needles have the highest concentration of Taxine.
Somehow I would never trust using the seed [bought per pound] from the internet.
What time of the year was is collected? How old the seed was?
Its important you have taxus bacata variety [common yew] because is the most potent. Pacific yew is probably not deadly enough.
 
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RedBuns

RedBuns

Member
Dec 18, 2018
48
Thank you for sharing your experience, someone will find it very useful i'm sure. I'm so sorry your attempt failed, its completely understandable that you are emotionally drained. Take care of yourself for now, and try again when you're ready.
 
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D

Dreamcollege

Member
Jul 17, 2018
98
I don't get why it didn't work... it seems like you did everything right. You used more than enough seeds, took a prescription anti-emetic, this all doesn't make sense based on my research of yew poisoning... my only ideas for why it didn't work are that you didn't get Taxus Baccata seeds or you made the tincture wrong. Perhaps you shouldn't boil off the alcohol or strain the seeds- how do you know which of the liquids contains the taxine? And perhaps your heart was racing because you were afraid and not because the taxine actually caused it.

I have a failed attempt with yew poisoning which I posted on the "yew tree" thread, and I just straight ate the seeds because I honestly don't trust making a tincture- the taxine could be in any of the liquids you strain. A bunch of people making random concoctions of liquids in their basements and saying their tincture will work without even trying more than a lick is hardly a science

After reading this thread I am now starting to doubt whether I should go with yew poisoning anymore. What I was going to try next is buy a yew shrub and pick the leaves myself and just straight eat those. But now I'm just thinking yew tree suicides are an urban legend and reports of yew caused deaths are due to other factors or an interaction of the yew specific to that person. For example some of the stories I've read about supposed yew suicides are about people with heart conditions who were taking beta blockers. Since taxine directly affects the heart, the effect was likely amplified in these people's hearts. So everybody jumps on the yew tree train as this miracle suicide method, but in reality it only works for people who have a health condition

I guess I'll just have to keep trying simple suspension until the survival instinct no longer kicks in
 
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crova

Making death amazing journey
Oct 7, 2018
377
I don't get why it didn't work... it seems like you did everything right. You used more than enough seeds, took a prescription anti-emetic, this all doesn't make sense based on my research of yew poisoning... my only ideas for why it didn't work are that you didn't get Taxus Baccata seeds or you made the tincture wrong. Perhaps you shouldn't boil off the alcohol or strain the seeds- how do you know which of the liquids contains the taxine? And perhaps your heart was racing because you were afraid and not because the taxine actually caused it.

I have a failed attempt with yew poisoning which I posted on the "yew tree" thread, and I just straight ate the seeds because I honestly don't trust making a tincture- the taxine could be in any of the liquids you strain. A bunch of people making random concoctions of liquids in their basements and saying their tincture will work without even trying more than a lick is hardly a science

After reading this thread I am now starting to doubt whether I should go with yew poisoning anymore. What I was going to try next is buy a yew shrub and pick the leaves myself and just straight eat those. But now I'm just thinking yew tree suicides are an urban legend and reports of yew caused deaths are due to other factors or an interaction of the yew specific to that person. For example some of the stories I've read about supposed yew suicides are about people with heart conditions who were taking beta blockers. Since taxine directly affects the heart, the effect was likely amplified in these people's hearts. So everybody jumps on the yew tree train as this miracle suicide method, but in reality it only works for people who have a health condition

I guess I'll just have to keep trying simple suspension until the survival instinct no longer kicks in



A propos urban legend:

Success by yew poisoning [I'm copying it from different thread, author: @111aaa
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.suicide.methods/5SRvprHxGEg/DIkS8mWzHKIJ
http://www.independent.ie/irish-new...-brewed-from-poioson9-yew-seeds-26436937.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-graveyard-yew-seeds-losing-wife-company.html
http://www.thestar.co.uk/news/sheffield-musician-killed-himself-by-eating-toxic-berries-1-7111485
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...n-killed-eating-poisonous-leaves-berries.html
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-norfolk-26089688
https://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk...mmits-suicide-with-poisonous-yew-tree-leaves/
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/suicide-by-eating-yew-tree-leaves-561441
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/lon...perience-afterlife-and-come-back-7835772.html
https://www.oldham-chronicle.co.uk/news-features/8/news-headlines/104333/tree-poison-death-shock
https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/local-news/woman-in-yew-tree-twigs-suicide-15672

There are numerous articles about farm animals dying from yew poisoning:
http://www.omafra.gov.on.ca/english/livestock/horses/facts/07-055.htm
https://www.agriland.ie/farming-news/five-cattle-die-after-freak-poisoning/
https://www.agriland.ie/farming-news/9-cattle-die-after-eating-yew-tree-trimmings-dumped-in-field/
https://www.google.com/search?clien...1......0....1..gws-wiz.......0i71.C9VogCg9oj0

So yes, it seems extremely dangerous to the cattle and in most cases its fresh needles, rather than seeds.
 
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BlackDragonof1989

BlackDragonof1989

Mage
Jul 12, 2018
526
Aw *hugs you warmly* <3
 
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P

Psilo

Arcanist
Dec 29, 2018
482
Can you ctb by drinking everyday yew leave tea?
It would be a slow poisoning process, would it be painful?
 
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VoloFataliDoce

VoloFataliDoce

The World Is Quiet Here
Jan 23, 2019
114
I don't get why it didn't work... it seems like you did everything right. You used more than enough seeds, took a prescription anti-emetic, this all doesn't make sense based on my research of yew poisoning... my only ideas for why it didn't work are that you didn't get Taxus Baccata seeds or you made the tincture wrong. Perhaps you shouldn't boil off the alcohol or strain the seeds- how do you know which of the liquids contains the taxine? And perhaps your heart was racing because you were afraid and not because the taxine actually caused it.

I have a failed attempt with yew poisoning which I posted on the "yew tree" thread, and I just straight ate the seeds because I honestly don't trust making a tincture- the taxine could be in any of the liquids you strain. A bunch of people making random concoctions of liquids in their basements and saying their tincture will work without even trying more than a lick is hardly a science

After reading this thread I am now starting to doubt whether I should go with yew poisoning anymore. What I was going to try next is buy a yew shrub and pick the leaves myself and just straight eat those. But now I'm just thinking yew tree suicides are an urban legend and reports of yew caused deaths are due to other factors or an interaction of the yew specific to that person. For example some of the stories I've read about supposed yew suicides are about people with heart conditions who were taking beta blockers. Since taxine directly affects the heart, the effect was likely amplified in these people's hearts. So everybody jumps on the yew tree train as this miracle suicide method, but in reality it only works for people who have a health condition

I guess I'll just have to keep trying simple suspension until the survival instinct no longer kicks in

One of my biggest concerns was about boiling off the alcohol while ensuring that I didn't boil out the Taxine. I read that the boiling point of Taxine was much higher than the boiling point of water or alcohol, so I didn't think much more about it. The Taxine very well could have boiled out, or never been extracted from the seeds to begin with.

I don't know that I would trust just eating the seeds. It seemed to me like even if you were to crush them and eat them, it would take an incredible amount to do any damage. To each their own, of course.
 
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VoloFataliDoce

VoloFataliDoce

The World Is Quiet Here
Jan 23, 2019
114
Yew poisoning was my first choice for exit once. I read quite a bit about this method.
What would my my advice to anyone trying it in the future is - collect your yew needles by yourself.

And if you are in UK now - this is the best time of the year, when the needles have the highest concentration of Taxine.
Somehow I would never trust using the seed [bought per pound] from the internet.
What time of the year was is collected? How old the seed was?
Its important you have taxus bacata variety [common yew] because is the most potent. Pacific yew is probably not deadly enough.

Absolutely do your due diligence. Make sure you have the right kind of plant and don't skimp on the research. I'm not sure that seeds lose their Taxine content like the leaves do. If I remember correctly, the Taxine in the seeds remains consistent. Definitely make sure you know enough about the plant (and seeds, especially if you purchase them online) before you make any attempts with this method.
 
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Salvacion

Salvacion

Member
Sep 25, 2018
88
I don't get why it didn't work... it seems like you did everything right. You used more than enough seeds, took a prescription anti-emetic, this all doesn't make sense based on my research of yew poisoning... my only ideas for why it didn't work are that you didn't get Taxus Baccata seeds or you made the tincture wrong. Perhaps you shouldn't boil off the alcohol or strain the seeds- how do you know which of the liquids contains the taxine? And perhaps your heart was racing because you were afraid and not because the taxine actually caused it.

I have a failed attempt with yew poisoning which I posted on the "yew tree" thread, and I just straight ate the seeds because I honestly don't trust making a tincture- the taxine could be in any of the liquids you strain. A bunch of people making random concoctions of liquids in their basements and saying their tincture will work without even trying more than a lick is hardly a science
I wanted to share my experience with attempted Yew poisoning in the hopes that it will be of use to someone - for a purely academic purpose, of course. Obviously, I screwed up somewhere, so maybe someone here can figure out the cause of failure and not repeat it. Try not to make fun of me too terribly.

About a month ago I tried to CTB with this method. I'd read quite a bit on another website about Yew and how it was very toxic and would likely result in a quick death. I bought roughly a pound of Taxus Baccata (English Yew) seeds to make into a tincture. At the time I did the math and the number of seeds equaled out to much higher than the LD50 dose. I made the tincture as follows:

I crushed the seeds, put them in a large glass jar (I want to say it was a half-gallon jar - very large), and filled to the top with brandy. It was the strongest alcohol I had access to at the time, but a stronger one may have worked better.

After letting it sit for a month, shaking the jar every few days, I strained the seeds out through cheesecloth and simmered the liquid to try and get most of the alcohol out. It reduced to about 1/2 cup of liquid. I poured it into a clean jar and let it sit a few days longer.

The day I had meant to CTB, I took 30mg Metoclopramide every few hours. When it came time to do the deed, I was very anxious. My survival instinct was not about to let me drink this concoction, so I took two Klonopin and waited a bit. I calmed down after awhile and drank it in a few gulps. It was the worst thing I have ever tasted - very bitter and dry. If that's anything near what Nembutal tastes like I really do feel for the people that have to drink it. I drank a few sips of water to try and get the taste out of my mouth and laid down.

My heart was racing and I started to get very dizzy and tired. Other than that I didn't have any pain. I can't tell you with certainty how much time had passed, but it felt like at least an hour. I started to feel nauseous and the mixture just "came up". It wasn't puking like you'd typically think of. My reflex to wretch and gag was not there (probably the work of the Meto), but it went on forever. It felt like my stomach was empty and yet it would somehow find more to throw up.

I eventually went to sleep and woke up the next morning, very much alive. My heart was still racing and I was dizzy and lightheaded until dinnertime that evening. It wasn't exactly a pleasant experience, but not terrible considering how some overdoses go. I truly thought I would die when I drank it, so it was a disappointment that this method didn't work. I'm still emotionally drained from having attempted.

I have a few theories as to what I did wrong. The first and favorite theory is that the alcohol I used should have been stronger and I should have made certain that all of the alcohol was out of the mixture. I tasted some when I drank it, but it wasn't nearly as strong as what it should have been. Another theory is that I had the wrong kind of anti-emetic. I'm doubtful as to this one, but don't know enough to disprove it. I sincerely doubt that I didn't use enough seeds; if anything I probably used too many. There are reports of people dying from eating a handful of leaves - perhaps they weren't entirely accurate. At any rate, hopefully this will help someone else not to repeat my mistakes.

Feel free to ask any questions if you have them.
Thank you so much for posting this. I have research this thoroughly as well, and although it appears to be very toxic unfortunate stories like this.

After reading this thread I am now starting to doubt whether I should go with yew poisoning anymore. What I was going to try next is buy a yew shrub and pick the leaves myself and just straight eat those. But now I'm just thinking yew tree suicides are an urban legend and reports of yew caused deaths are due to other factors or an interaction of the yew specific to that person. For example some of the stories I've read about supposed yew suicides are about people with heart conditions who were taking beta blockers. Since taxine directly affects the heart, the effect was likely amplified in these people's hearts. So everybody jumps on the yew tree train as this miracle suicide method, but in reality it only works for people who have a health condition

I guess I'll just have to keep trying simple suspension until the survival instinct no longer kicks in
 
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Rosiel

Rosiel

Member
Jan 24, 2019
45
Yew poisoning was my first choice for exit once. I read quite a bit about this method.
What would my my advice to anyone trying it in the future is - collect your yew needles by yourself.

And if you are in UK now - this is the best time of the year, when the needles have the highest concentration of Taxine.
Somehow I would never trust using the seed [bought per pound] from the internet.
What time of the year was is collected? How old the seed was?
Its important you have taxus bacata variety [common yew] because is the most potent. Pacific yew is probably not deadly enough.

There are no Taxus Brevifolia (Pacific Yew) here right? I am in the UK. I started collecting my yew needles from hedges as there are loads of them and from my understanding they are generally Taxus Baccata. From my understanding, the Taxus Baccata has leaves on either side, like that of a palm leaf, whereas the Pacific yew veers towards more of a typical pine one?
 
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D

Dreamcollege

Member
Jul 17, 2018
98
My yew tree arrived today, planning to make tea like the successful attempts. How do you make tea? Do you just put pluck the leaves and then put them in boiling water and let them sit for a few hours as the taxine leaks out? Or do you have to dry the leaves first before putting them in hot water?
 
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JustOverIt

JustOverIt

Experienced
Nov 8, 2018
270
I wanted to share my experience with attempted Yew poisoning in the hopes that it will be of use to someone - for a purely academic purpose, of course. Obviously, I screwed up somewhere, so maybe someone here can figure out the cause of failure and not repeat it. Try not to make fun of me too terribly.

About a month ago I tried to CTB with this method. I'd read quite a bit on another website about Yew and how it was very toxic and would likely result in a quick death. I bought roughly a pound of Taxus Baccata (English Yew) seeds to make into a tincture. At the time I did the math and the number of seeds equaled out to much higher than the LD50 dose. I made the tincture as follows:

I crushed the seeds, put them in a large glass jar (I want to say it was a half-gallon jar - very large), and filled to the top with brandy. It was the strongest alcohol I had access to at the time, but a stronger one may have worked better.

After letting it sit for a month, shaking the jar every few days, I strained the seeds out through cheesecloth and simmered the liquid to try and get most of the alcohol out. It reduced to about 1/2 cup of liquid. I poured it into a clean jar and let it sit a few days longer.

The day I had meant to CTB, I took 30mg Metoclopramide every few hours. When it came time to do the deed, I was very anxious. My survival instinct was not about to let me drink this concoction, so I took two Klonopin and waited a bit. I calmed down after awhile and drank it in a few gulps. It was the worst thing I have ever tasted - very bitter and dry. If that's anything near what Nembutal tastes like I really do feel for the people that have to drink it. I drank a few sips of water to try and get the taste out of my mouth and laid down.

My heart was racing and I started to get very dizzy and tired. Other than that I didn't have any pain. I can't tell you with certainty how much time had passed, but it felt like at least an hour. I started to feel nauseous and the mixture just "came up". It wasn't puking like you'd typically think of. My reflex to wretch and gag was not there (probably the work of the Meto), but it went on forever. It felt like my stomach was empty and yet it would somehow find more to throw up.

I eventually went to sleep and woke up the next morning, very much alive. My heart was still racing and I was dizzy and lightheaded until dinnertime that evening. It wasn't exactly a pleasant experience, but not terrible considering how some overdoses go. I truly thought I would die when I drank it, so it was a disappointment that this method didn't work. I'm still emotionally drained from having attempted.

I have a few theories as to what I did wrong. The first and favorite theory is that the alcohol I used should have been stronger and I should have made certain that all of the alcohol was out of the mixture. I tasted some when I drank it, but it wasn't nearly as strong as what it should have been. Another theory is that I had the wrong kind of anti-emetic. I'm doubtful as to this one, but don't know enough to disprove it. I sincerely doubt that I didn't use enough seeds; if anything I probably used too many. There are reports of people dying from eating a handful of leaves - perhaps they weren't entirely accurate. At any rate, hopefully this will help someone else not to repeat my mistakes.

Feel free to ask any questions if you have them.

You are incredibly brave, wow. Very informative
 
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D

Dreamcollege

Member
Jul 17, 2018
98
I bought two yew tree saplings and plucked off the leaves, and am planning to make tea and do the deed soon. I bought cultivars of Taxus baccata from an online nursery. I have about 40g of dried leaves which have been drying for about 3 weeks, and 60g of fresh leaves which I plucked a couple days ago.

The idea is to chop the leaves up a little then let them simmer in hot water for a couple hours. I'll then drink the tea along with all the leaves still left in the water

They say the minimum lethal dose is 50g of leaves, and I have about double that amount, so assuming I drink all the liquid and eat all the leaves, I hopefully should have enough

I'm not going to make a thread and post updates over the course of the poisoning because then I would feel obligated that I'm doing it for other people or that I have to do it at a certain time

I'm just worried I don't have enough leaves, or that this poisoning somehow won't affect me
 
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Psilo

Arcanist
Dec 29, 2018
482
They say the minimum lethal dose is 50g of leaves, and I have about double that amount, so assuming I drink all the liquid and eat all the leaves, I hopefully should have enough

I read in a study that taxines can't be extracted from water, so the tea won't help which gives me doubts on whats true or not true in the news when they say people died from a yew brewed tea.

It is nearly impossible to even eat 50g of leave even if chopped into slices, I tried once and throw up. The taste of 20g is ok, but more its unbereable, very bitter and dry.

I tried with drinking water while having leaves in the mouth and get it down. But it was so horrible I couldn't.

I ate 60g of leaves in a period of 2 days, had sone symptoms but nothing that woukd kill me.

I wonder if it is possible to poison oneself with taxine over a longer period. That would be much easier.
 
D

Dreamcollege

Member
Jul 17, 2018
98
Can you link to the study please? Perhaps they mean that taxinea aren't water soluble, but that doesn't mean they don't leak out of the leaves when in hot water

And I have read news stories about a woman who unintentionally brewed yew tea thinking it was herbal tea and died from that.

Regardless, I'm going to eat the remaining leaves after I drink the tea
 
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Dreamcollege

Member
Jul 17, 2018
98
Ok so I brewed tea with the leaves and have a mug full worth along with all the chopped up leaves in it too. Have to say this shit tastes so bad. I can't get more than a few drops down. I poured a bunch of sugar in and that just made it taste weirder. It would be a different story if I only needed to take a sip of the drink and a bite size amount of leaves, but there is so much to drink and eat, I'm not sure how if at all I would be able to drink/eat it all

I might try Sodium Nitrite next, seems super cheap and easy to buy and you can mix a lethal dose in with only 50mL of water. That's like a sip. This yew tea is like having to chug down a lot
 
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