avalokitesvara
nothing
- Nov 28, 2024
- 434
This is my experience calling the biggest suicide hotline in the UK. I reached a point where the pressure of the thoughts was too much to keep inside and I have no-one in real life it's possible to talk to about suicide.
The first time I called the phone rang for around 45 seconds and then a man picked up the call. I panicked a bit and hung up.
I tried again a bit later. There was a kindly-voiced middle aged woman on the line and I felt more comfortable. She asked me what was going on and I expressed my thoughts. We talked about the possibility of getting help and she gently suggested getting a doctors appointment. I agreed to try to do that on my next day off work. She then asked if I wanted a call back on that day to check in on how it went. She asked a suitable time and took my number.
They called back at the agreed time on the day scheduled to check in. It was a different handler but she was also middle aged and kindly. I said I hadn't managed to see the doctor and I didn't receive any judgement about that. We talked a bit more and then I ended the call. She encouraged me to phone again whenever I wanted to.
Overall it was quite a good experience. After the first call I did feel the pressure was relieved a bit and I felt a little bit calmer. The fact they phoned me back and said I was welcome to keep calling felt like there was at least somewhere I could turn to when the thoughts get really heavy. It was quite strange to say out loud all the thoughts I've had for years and years. I don't know if I really want help or want to recover but I felt it was a resource I could use if I did want to.
I didn't expect it to constitute actual help, and it isn't, but it is a form of human connection that can be supportive if you need it.
The first time I called the phone rang for around 45 seconds and then a man picked up the call. I panicked a bit and hung up.
I tried again a bit later. There was a kindly-voiced middle aged woman on the line and I felt more comfortable. She asked me what was going on and I expressed my thoughts. We talked about the possibility of getting help and she gently suggested getting a doctors appointment. I agreed to try to do that on my next day off work. She then asked if I wanted a call back on that day to check in on how it went. She asked a suitable time and took my number.
They called back at the agreed time on the day scheduled to check in. It was a different handler but she was also middle aged and kindly. I said I hadn't managed to see the doctor and I didn't receive any judgement about that. We talked a bit more and then I ended the call. She encouraged me to phone again whenever I wanted to.
Overall it was quite a good experience. After the first call I did feel the pressure was relieved a bit and I felt a little bit calmer. The fact they phoned me back and said I was welcome to keep calling felt like there was at least somewhere I could turn to when the thoughts get really heavy. It was quite strange to say out loud all the thoughts I've had for years and years. I don't know if I really want help or want to recover but I felt it was a resource I could use if I did want to.
I didn't expect it to constitute actual help, and it isn't, but it is a form of human connection that can be supportive if you need it.
