Venting my ex bf will make my death about himself

[deadalreadysqc]

I've been planning to do this for awhile now and I just recently broke up with my bf. He was not the worst but still not a great person, I know he'll make it about himself somehow and I'm sure my family and our friends will feel so bad for him. I know I'll be gone so I shouldn't care but wouldn't it bother you too? It's giving me a gross feeling

 

[Hope:-)]

I'm sorry you went through a breakup. I know what you mean about gross feelings like that. That's a good way to put it. I don't have anyone who would really make it about them per se, but I will probably get called selfish which kind of gives me a feeling like that.x

 

[FuneralCry]

People can certainly be very selfish. Often the way that people behave just makes me want to leave this world even more and makes the thought of non existence sound even more appealing.

 

[lonelygirl111]

i get what you mean about the gross feeling. even if your not there anymore to experience him making your death about himself i can't imagine how upset that must make you right now knowing that's what will happen. it shouldn't be all about him, it should only be about you because it is your decision and your life not his. i sincerely hope that with whatever decisions you make in the end your honored and appreciated like you deserve

 

[Worndown]

Leave a note for family stating his selfish nature was partially responsible for your choice to exit early. That should lessen the problem.

 

[theboy]

the note will dull the pain

 

[hunterfla]

I may be in the minority here, but I really don't know why you care. If your ctb is based on wanting it to be "your moment" or all about you (ie not about your ex) then I think you need to reevaluate whether you are truly ready. You are not ready (in my opinion) until the sole purpose and care in your mind and heart is to aleviate your pain and suffering. That said, I 100% get where you are coming from - there are always going to be people that take you, your life, your death for granted or try to make any of those about themselves. That is extremely disappointing and annoying, but such is life. Best wishes. xoxo

 

[makethepainstop]

I've been planning to do this for awhile now and I just recently broke up with my bf. He was not the worst but still not a great person, I know he'll make it about himself somehow and I'm sure my family and our friends will feel so bad for him. I know I'll be gone so I shouldn't care but wouldn't it bother you too? It's giving me a gross feeling

Maybe before you ctb you should send him a recording of Carly Simon's "You're so Vain!"

 

[GrumpyFrog]

No, it wouldn't bother me at all. Because it doesn't really matter. The matter of fact is, you don't know what exactly will happen after you're dead, and you will never get to know that. You can only play it out in your imagination, but it is just imagination, you can imagine the opposite happening and it wouldn't affect anything. Once you're dead it is not going to affect you in any way, and while you're here, you don't have to think about it, because there is no way to predict the future for sure, any picture of the future we have in our heads is nothing but a fantasy.

 

[Idkaho2]

I've been planning to do this for awhile now and I just recently broke up with my bf. He was not the worst but still not a great person, I know he'll make it about himself somehow and I'm sure my family and our friends will feel so bad for him. I know I'll be gone so I shouldn't care but wouldn't it bother you too? It's giving me a gross feeling

Leaving a message in your suicide note addressing your concern about this or messaging him would be sufficient to relieve this anxiety, no? It doesn't really matter though anyway because obviously you'll be dead.

 

[spectraltease]

I've been planning to do this for awhile now and I just recently broke up with my bf. He was not the worst but still not a great person, I know he'll make it about himself somehow and I'm sure my family and our friends will feel so bad for him. I know I'll be gone so I shouldn't care but wouldn't it bother you too? It's giving me a gross feeling

Write a note with some things you wanna make clear. I can understand, why it's bothering you. I make clear and sure that nobody can use my name for attention. Fuck them

 

[ever so lonely]

so many exes be like this, i guess that is why we made em exes to begin with narcissm seems rampant today man, i hope you find peace whatever you decide to do, i like to read others stories it is sad and depressing that some people think everything revolves around them including our exes, i know if i offed myself my ex would be similar, she would probably maintain i werent worth a shit anyways, even tho i gave her al i had

 

[Pluto]

Yes, narcissism is the key word here. Any individual or group which is narcissistic will make absolutely everything about themselves. And I do mean everything.

My entire family would make my death about themselves and use the situation to promote a false narrative which I would have no way of challenging. They'd make themselves the victims, they'd permanently cover up the decades of torment and the entire community would lap it up. I'd be remembered as a loser rather than a (temporary) survivor of serious abuse.

But in saying that, when my urge to CTB is strongest, none of those things matter at all. In extreme moments, to CTB doesn't seem like a choice at all, not any more than a drowning person gasping for air (well, except the exact opposite of that example).

 

[makethepainstop]

I've been planning to do this for awhile now and I just recently broke up with my bf. He was not the worst but still not a great person, I know he'll make it about himself somehow and I'm sure my family and our friends will feel so bad for him. I know I'll be gone so I shouldn't care but wouldn't it bother you too? It's giving me a gross feeling

I'd leave a note just for him letting him know, he was not that good in bed, he had a small weenie, and that your death was due to being unfulfilled sexually. I would then tell him that perhaps he likes dudes better. I'd leave a copy of Carly Simon's "Your so vain."
with my note.

 

[hatehypocrisy]

Is there no better solution?

 

[FrozenMango]

I've been planning to do this for awhile now and I just recently broke up with my bf. He was not the worst but still not a great person, I know he'll make it about himself somehow and I'm sure my family and our friends will feel so bad for him. I know I'll be gone so I shouldn't care but wouldn't it bother you too? It's giving me a gross feeling

It is annoying until you realize that "make it about himself" is a mental disorder. People can see through it

 

[Zhendou]

I hate narcissism, it's a disease. I hope people see through him. You did nothing wrong, no matter how much he tries to make you believe otherwise.