Ok, so as I have told multiple people here that I will post updates about my euthanasia process.
So here is part 4 going in the last phase of my euthanasia process and life also .
Today I had my final examination by the scen-doctor at my home.
I did not liked this part at all, and she knew it already because everybody reacts the same to this it seems.
Exhausted and drained of the whole process, having to repeat yourself over and over again.
So she started by asking declaration of will, showed her the whole documentation.
She already had this in her possession but she needed to check it also but verify to see if it all is correct.
Also she was aware of mine suicide attempt last august with N of A.
So showed her the documentation of the attempt that i made for police, so they could see it was on me and only me who organized it.
Again in my younger years, asking questions about everything from school to friends family dynamics and lifespan in general.
And how this effected me in adulthood, had to explain that to her also.
Going trough everything in life that effected me like my traumas that caused complex ptsd, the paranoid disorder chronicle depression, A cluster characteristics.
At one moment she ask my mom to leave the room, this was because by law she needs to talk alone with me also for 30 minutes.
The process of the whole interview was also focused on if i really want this and if I really don't want any therapy anymore.
Why I don't want therapy anymore, why i want to die, do i really want to die, If i don't want to life anywhere else .
Do you really want to die, how do you want to die, are you sure you want to do it that way,
So you want to die, so you will cause grief and sadness to your mom and your family are you aware of this.
I answer back yes i know, but dying is for me the solution to get my rest and not having to feel this way for the rest of my life and having to deal with this the rest of my life.
She even ask if anybody forced me to apply to euthanasia, this is a security check and safety matter also.
Some moments i really was thinking like she did not believe me or something.
This is also her way of talking and trying to find inconsistency's in my story or that of the euthanasia team.
She just needed to check everything and make sure it was all correct and truthful.
We talked for almost 2 hours i just.
The final things she ask where are you ready did you do everything you need to do.
Told her i arranged my own funeral / cremation and also got the quotation of the funeral insurance company.
And at the end she ask , where will you perform the euthanasia, told her, I will do it in my room on my bed.
When she ended the interview she said, you know i was only for the check of protocol
I don't have any power over your date of euthanasia that's up to the team to decide, I will make a report of our interview and my findings.
but the team decided your euthanasia I am here just to check
I can only say no or yes on the whole process and the euthanasia as a security measure.
So this means she can say no when she found weird stuff in my story or some other judgement.
She added that it can take a couple of days not 2 week but days for making the report on my case.
So now have to wait, I have 2 green lights these where important , this one only can adjust to the team and making sure the team is safe to perform the euthanasia.
I will be gone before the end of the month, as i have requested.
