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forgotten15

forgotten15

Specialist
Aug 24, 2021
332
My method is SN. I have everything I need.
I have been suicidal all my life, but the hope that things will one day change for me kept me alive until today, at 31.
I am empy, hurt, traumatised of what this experience called life has been for me. I tried, I really tried to be normal, but I lack something, I just can't seem to find a way to make things work.
I always wanted to feel happiness and love, but I came to the conclusion that happiness is not for me, it will never be, same for love.

I know my end is near, there is nothing left for me here. I am so scared of what I will find after death, I just hope my suffering will end. I keep imagining the moment I will be drinking that glass of sn and I get shivers, this is how scared I am. But my pain is bigger than my fear, I am in such a low point in my life that all I want is to dissappear. It's becoming harder and harder to get out of bed in the morning and face reality, i am so tired, I feel like I lived a 1000 lives.
I will leave this world with my soul shattered in pieces and pieces. My eyes have cried oceans of tears in 31 years, I just want everything to stop, I need peace and quiet. I can't wait to become nothing.

I hope i will overcome my fears in the upcoming week.I had to get this off my chest and you guys are the only ones I could tell. I have no one.
 
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O

OldDrummer

Arcanist
Feb 4, 2022
435
So sorry it's come to this for you. You'll always have friends and someone to talk to on here.
 
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jimmy7754

jimmy7754

I just want to be myself again
Dec 15, 2021
508
This is how I feel today.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
44,978
I'm sorry that things are so hopeless, I know that this life can be unbearable when you are suffering so much. I also just want peace as well. I really believe that there is nothing after this, I look forward to non existence as nothing can hurt me then. I wish you the best in whatever happens.
 
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TheWood

TheWood

Experienced
Mar 1, 2022
216
If we stop to think that there may be something in the afterlife, we would remain in a limbo. No one here will judge you. I don't know what makes you feel so bad, but I hope that one way or another you can find your peace
 
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Huntfish34

Huntfish34

Enlightened
Mar 13, 2020
1,619
Thoughts and prayers to you Always,. Take care.
 
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