starboy2k
whhaazzzzzuuupppp
- May 21, 2025
- 417
i would love to relive the month of august 29, 2024–september 29, 2024 over and over again as my afterlife.
during this month, even though i was unemployed and lowkey depressed, that bs dark cloud of despair quickly evaporated when those unemployment checks and those food stamps came in like a wrecking ball, word to that chick miley cyrus.
i was still able to afford all kinds of food, necessities, laundry, alcohol, poppers, vapes, clothes, home internet, transportation, sexual hookups, video games — you name it. also, this was the first time i was unemployed and living alone, so i really could've gone balls to the wall and done whatever the fuck i wanted.
also, it was the end of summer and the fall weather was in. i remember walking down the street to the grocery store, and i remember it was constantly warm/cool — the falling leaves, the golden sunsets, chugging a 20oz sugar free red bull and hitting that vape like it had stolen something from me. had my music blasting in my ear, high out of my mind, and wayyyy less annoyed with the world and the people in it.
also, bridges weren't burned to a crisp with my annoying ass relatives. would i still call them? fuck no, but at least i didn't feel abandoned at that time. i was also still sane enough to take my meds that i've since ditched for quite some time.
that one little month was really the only time period where i felt depressed over factors society wanted me to change but i couldn't (because i was an unemployed and able-bodied useless freak), yet i felt happy because i didn't have to worry about a soul-sucking 9–5 job, and i could live life on my terms whether i wanted to stay inside like a hermit or not.
even if reliving this one month would eventually feel like a type of hell… it's most definitely a version of hell i can get behind.
during this month, even though i was unemployed and lowkey depressed, that bs dark cloud of despair quickly evaporated when those unemployment checks and those food stamps came in like a wrecking ball, word to that chick miley cyrus.
i was still able to afford all kinds of food, necessities, laundry, alcohol, poppers, vapes, clothes, home internet, transportation, sexual hookups, video games — you name it. also, this was the first time i was unemployed and living alone, so i really could've gone balls to the wall and done whatever the fuck i wanted.
also, it was the end of summer and the fall weather was in. i remember walking down the street to the grocery store, and i remember it was constantly warm/cool — the falling leaves, the golden sunsets, chugging a 20oz sugar free red bull and hitting that vape like it had stolen something from me. had my music blasting in my ear, high out of my mind, and wayyyy less annoyed with the world and the people in it.
also, bridges weren't burned to a crisp with my annoying ass relatives. would i still call them? fuck no, but at least i didn't feel abandoned at that time. i was also still sane enough to take my meds that i've since ditched for quite some time.
that one little month was really the only time period where i felt depressed over factors society wanted me to change but i couldn't (because i was an unemployed and able-bodied useless freak), yet i felt happy because i didn't have to worry about a soul-sucking 9–5 job, and i could live life on my terms whether i wanted to stay inside like a hermit or not.
even if reliving this one month would eventually feel like a type of hell… it's most definitely a version of hell i can get behind.
