Venting my dog

[curiousbeing]

my dog is alive, healthy, well. There are other people who can take care of her a little bit , I mean, at least they won't abandon her. She needs me, like that day I was only person home and I saved her from poisoning.

But İ feel horrible. How can I leave my dog?

When i think of abandoning my dog and ctb, i feel horrible, i remember all the good memories between us

 

[persef]

The only thing that has always kept me from committing something. It was my dogs. Now my dogs are dead. I have nothing to hold me here. But if my dogs were alive, I don't think I would have the courage.
It's "funny" how their love can hold us back. I understand you.

 

[va.pensiero2]

I really understand you, because my 13 old dog is the only one who still keep me alive. But recently I am thinking that he will be happy with my parents anyway. My parents are one of the reasons why I want to ctb, but I think that they would take care of him.

 

[curiousbeing]

The only thing that has always kept me from committing something. It was my dogs. Now my dogs are dead. I have nothing to hold me here. But if my dogs were alive, I don't think I would have the courage.
It's "funny" how their love can hold us back. I understand you.

I love them to the moon and back. my dog was only being who didn't judge me, play with my nerves.

What do I do? During my last moments (I seriously consider ctb), i don't want to feel guilty. I will look at sea and then randomly remember that day when my dog thought a butterfly was a cat. It will cause me to horribly cry. No, I am not emotional person.

I really understand you, because my 13 old dog is the only one who still keep me alive. But recently I am thinking that he will be happy with my parents anyway. My parents are one of the reasons why I want to ctb, but I think that they would take care of him.

yes, i am in a slightly similar situation. I know that my dog will sense When i am dying. Dogs sense it.

it's just horrible. i dont know what to say other than repeat how horrible it is

 

[va.pensiero2]

yes, i am in a slightly similar situation. I know that my dog will sense When i am dying. Dogs sense it.

it's just horrible. i dont know what to say other than repeat how horrible it is

I think that our dogs shouldn't be there when we are dying. I love him so much and I feel you.
But I think that I will talk to my parents telling them that I want to leave and go to another country, and see if they are happy to take my dog. I will leave him with them before ctb, and I will ctb alone.
I know That he will miss me and will be sad, but I also think that as an animal he will live his life with other people that he loves (I am the one that care of him, but he loves my parents and my sister) without questioning.
I hope to find the courage to leave him

 

[curiousbeing]

I think that our dogs shouldn't be there when we are dying. I love him so much and I feel you.
But I think that I will talk to my parents telling them that I want to leave and go to another country, and see if they are happy to take my dog. I will leave him with them before ctb, and I will ctb alone.
I know That he will miss me and will be sad, but I also think that as an animal he will live his life with other people that he loves (I am the one that care of him, but he loves my parents and my sister) without questioning.
I hope to find the courage to leave him

what I mean specifically is that animals can sense death of their owners if there is huge distance between them. This is not scientific, but I have read many stories.

May I ask, what's your ctb method? mine will be drowning. Drowning isn't instant, that's why during last moments i will be forced to remember my dog

cutting arteries can be instant, but it's highly unreliable method.

 

[va.pensiero2]

Sorry, I understand now, it would be very sad if my dog sense that I am dying.
I discovered this website a few days ago, until now I thought to use a cocktail of benzo and alcohol, but I think it is not a sure method (I could be rescued).
Now I read some newspaper articles about people who ctb in the car simply putting a tube between the pipe and the window, but I am trying to understand if my car is old enough to do this.
I read the compilation and I think that CO2 is the most safe and painless method.
Why did you choose drawning? It seems a little too long and not painless for me, and I think that survival instinct could stop me

 

[curiousbeing]

Sorry, I understand now, it would be very sad if my dog sense that I am dying.
I discovered this website a few days ago, until now I thought to use a cocktail of benzo and alcohol, but I think it is not a sure method (I could be rescued).
Now I read some newspaper articles about people who ctb in the car simply putting a tube between the pipe and the window, but I am trying to understand if my car is old enough to do this.
I read the compilation and I think that CO2 is the most safe and painless method.
Why did you choose drawning? It seems a little too long and not painless for me, and I think that survival instinct could stop me

Thanks for your reply.

I chose drowning over drugs and other methods because: 1) it's in some remote area, no one will find me 2) before drowning, since sea is salty, I will also be poisoned by salt water because i will try to drink it while drowning, i won't resist . i may eat some poisonous oleander leaves as well. This way i can't survive, even if I fail to be drowned somehow.

Thanks for your reply.

I chose drowning over drugs and other methods because: 1) it's in some remote area, no one will find me 2) before drowning, since sea is salty, I will also be poisoned by salt water became i will try to drink it while drowning, i won't resist . i may eat some poisonous oleander leaves as well. This way i can't survive, even if I fail to be drowned somehow.

there is no way i can fail with disability
my only fears: my dog and also the fact that I will feel incredibly alone

 

[va.pensiero2]

Ok that seems a sure method..
Can I ask you how old is your dog? Have you considered to stay until he stays? My dog is 13 and before I decided to wait until his death (unfortunately I think that as a dog he has only a few years left) because of my love for him.
But recently my pain is becoming so deep that I don't think I can wait other years.
If leaving your dog is too painful for you maybe you can consider to wait, I know that is not simple.

 

[Felodese]

My dog was my only reason for living, my reason for trying to improve my life/mental health, the one I built all my plans for the future around.
He ran off after an animal and got hit by a car. I have flashbacks of finding him dead by the side of the road. I wish I had died then and there.
Since I lost him I have no reason to live or for trying to fight my depression. I can't see a future for myself.
What I have is gulit and grief.

 

[curiousbeing]

Ok that seems a sure method..
Can I ask you how old is your dog? Have you considered to stay until he stays? My dog is 13 and before I decided to wait until his death (unfortunately I think that as a dog he has only a few years left) because of my love for him.
But recently my pain is becoming so deep that I don't think I can wait other years.
If leaving your dog is too painful for you maybe you can consider to wait, I know that is not simple.

my dog is 7 years old... I dont know what to think

My dog was my only reason for living, my reason for trying to improve my life/mental health, the one I built all my plans for the future around.
He ran off after an animal and got hit by a car. I have flashbacks of finding him dead by the side of the road. I wish I had died then and there.
Since I lost him I have no reason to live or for trying to fight my depression. I can't see a future for myself.
What I have is gulit and grief.

"I wish I had died then and there"... How much I understand and relate to your pain... This life is horrible

 

[Throwawayacc3]

This is my personal take. Dogs (and all other animals) are NOWHERE NEAR the same as people. I seem to have better connections with two geese at the animal sanctuary who were rescued from abuse than I have with people who I've known for decades.

My dog is about 12 now and she can smell things are off (dogs can smell hormone and chemical changes in humans - some are trained to deal with insulin levels and other crazy stuff) but they are way better than humans. You leaving would make your dog so depressed and he/she would wait until you come back. If you have ever seen the saddest episode of Futurama it's called Jurassic Bark and it's painful to watch.

People? Who gives a shit. All cunts anyway. Not your dog though.

I don't know. Just an autist babbling on, maybe something to think about.

 

[va.pensiero2]

Since I wrote in this post I am seriously thinking again about waiting until his death.
You reminded me the episode of Futurama, I never cried so much even for very sad movies
Maybe I will try first to give my dog to my sister, she has a beautiful family, and I will wait and see if he miss me too much.

 

[curiousbeing]

Since I wrote in this post I am seriously thinking again about waiting until his death.
You reminded me the episode of Futurama, I never cried so much even for very sad movies
Maybe I will try first to give my dog to my sister, she has a beautiful family, and I will wait and see if he miss me too much.

Yes, I don't know, But I will try to wait. It's hard. Would I easily accept it if my dog theoretically does ctb? No. She will have hard time understanding why I disappeared suddenly.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Since I wrote in this post I am seriously thinking again about waiting until his death.
You reminded me the episode of Futurama, I never cried so much even for very sad movies
Maybe I will try first to give my dog to my sister, she has a beautiful family, and I will wait and see if he miss me too much.

Dogs sense these things.

Parrots are even worse. They are flock animals and unlike dogs, when say a cockatoo gets depressed it starts going into overdrive:

- plucking all its feathers
- self harm to the point of mutilating their own feet
- stops eating and drinking
- aggressive and hormonal changes

Major difference is that when birds get sick (unlike dogs) they don't show it. It's a defence mechanism in the wild so that predators don't see an ill bird as easy prey.

I mean I wouldn't mind having a cockatoo if I had the resources and funds. Probably would leave off ctb as I can now look after a creature and no shitty humans - they live to 60-80 years, act goofy and they won't betray you (they may get a bit cranky at teenage years from about 6 years onwards but it depends on the character of the bird).

Yeah never watching Jurassic Bark. I have a photographic memory and even thinking about the episode, not a good idea.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I can relate to your situation. My dog passed away about 6 months ago from cancer. He was able to pass peacefully in my arms.

In a weird way I'm grateful because now I can CTB without worrying about him - he was able to have a long, happy life. And maybe, just maybe I'll get to see him again. I wasn't going to be able to do it while he was alive. So I understand. It's hard

Dogs are a gift