EternalChild
New Member
- May 8, 2021
- 2
Every single one of my problems is caused by my own weakness. Everything would be right if I was strong. Tonight, I finally, overtly accept that I am weak.
I have suffered absolutely zero injustice in my life. I have been spoiled from day one, I have no valid reason behind my pain. The only pain that I have is inflicted by my own inaction. I procrastinate. I avoid people. I have had no friends for a few years. Any adult in their right mind would realize, after only a brief exchange, that I am only a shell, with no maturity whatsoever. I haven't worked since I've started college. I've spent days in my bed. My parents wouldn't say a word. The fact that I started doing NoFap two weeks ago really is a testament to my stupidity and laziness. The only thing that I have for me is physical training, which I've been doing pretty consistently. I have some passions, like bowmaking and visual art, but I have abandonned them for months.
Tonight, enough stress has been built up in me for them to lose patience. Finally, my mother was honest to me. Finally, she spoke to me, standing up to my face, eye to eye, that I was weak, whiny and pathetic. They have done so much for me.
Each and every time that I would need to vent about my feelings, like the weak, emotional individual that I am, she would rather give me logical solutions to my problems, which is absolutely the right thing to do. I just couldn't take in the reality that I had to do things myself.
I am 19 and I have been digging my own grave for a while by acting the way I do. I am starting to lose my hair pretty bad as well.
I am addicted to my phone. Every day, I switch from Youtube to Reddit, back and forth. I have extreme mood swings.
I have had relationships with the opposite sex, which constitutes the extent of my ambition. I can say to myself that, at least, I have experienced these things and how wonderful they were before I die.
I just need to get my knot to pinch my carotid just right and I can FINALLY leave. I think my parents know of my tendencies. I've left my knot done for a while by accident; there is no way they haven't seen it yet. They may never be able to tell that openly or even to themselves, but it will be a great relief to them when I'm gone.
I'm just left wondering about my older brother. He knows who I am and how I feel. He's been through the same life but he's succeeded at overcoming where I am now. He seems to be doing okay now. Good for him.
I want no pity from anyone. I was dealt the best hand in life and I had the potential to accomplish great things. I simply didn't.
I have suffered absolutely zero injustice in my life. I have been spoiled from day one, I have no valid reason behind my pain. The only pain that I have is inflicted by my own inaction. I procrastinate. I avoid people. I have had no friends for a few years. Any adult in their right mind would realize, after only a brief exchange, that I am only a shell, with no maturity whatsoever. I haven't worked since I've started college. I've spent days in my bed. My parents wouldn't say a word. The fact that I started doing NoFap two weeks ago really is a testament to my stupidity and laziness. The only thing that I have for me is physical training, which I've been doing pretty consistently. I have some passions, like bowmaking and visual art, but I have abandonned them for months.
Tonight, enough stress has been built up in me for them to lose patience. Finally, my mother was honest to me. Finally, she spoke to me, standing up to my face, eye to eye, that I was weak, whiny and pathetic. They have done so much for me.
Each and every time that I would need to vent about my feelings, like the weak, emotional individual that I am, she would rather give me logical solutions to my problems, which is absolutely the right thing to do. I just couldn't take in the reality that I had to do things myself.
I am 19 and I have been digging my own grave for a while by acting the way I do. I am starting to lose my hair pretty bad as well.
I am addicted to my phone. Every day, I switch from Youtube to Reddit, back and forth. I have extreme mood swings.
I have had relationships with the opposite sex, which constitutes the extent of my ambition. I can say to myself that, at least, I have experienced these things and how wonderful they were before I die.
I just need to get my knot to pinch my carotid just right and I can FINALLY leave. I think my parents know of my tendencies. I've left my knot done for a while by accident; there is no way they haven't seen it yet. They may never be able to tell that openly or even to themselves, but it will be a great relief to them when I'm gone.
I'm just left wondering about my older brother. He knows who I am and how I feel. He's been through the same life but he's succeeded at overcoming where I am now. He seems to be doing okay now. Good for him.
I want no pity from anyone. I was dealt the best hand in life and I had the potential to accomplish great things. I simply didn't.