Venting my death would solve my family problems

[EUTHAN51A]

today my mom was saying on how she wishes everyone would just get away from her in one of her outbursts (now i know where i got mine from..) and i just cant help but think that my death would solve our financial issues.. school fees can be expensive not to mention stationeries and such.. and the cost of a human is a large amount too
i want to dissapear i wish i was gone im so tired of feeling this way but im just so scared to actually ctb, its selfish that i wish i had a sickness that had no cure or extremely hard to cure so the doctors can just let me pass instead..

 

[ptolemaea]

your death would not suddenly make your mother a happy person. your mother is unhappy because she is emotionally immature and can not take responsibility for her actions. whether you run away or die, she will never take charge of her own joy, and would instead blame someone else for her misfortune. my mother also complains about her children, how she regrets her decisions in life, wishes she had never given birth to us, and i think it contributed to my own SI. i'm very sorry your mother makes you feel unwanted

 

[FuneralCry]

It's very much understandable just wishing to completely disappear from this awful world, I certainly do believe that people shouldn't procreate in the first place as it would have prevented all this suffering.

 

[angeliccry]

breakdowns and outbursts are a normal human reaction, most if not everyone sometimes experiences them. when you're in such state of emotion you can rarely keep your mind as sharp as it usually is, we say wyat we may think yet not in the exact way we usually do. i doubt she said it with an intention of trying to push you away.
about the idea of you ending yourself in order to help, considering how your mother may prove to be very emotional, i very much doubt she will take it well. a death to the family while having financial issues may even ruin her, let alone the cost for a funeral... think long before trying to do anything. take care of yourself and your mother, it'll be alright.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

That's funny, the death of my family would solve *my* problems. Or at least it would have decades ago during my childhood before they had the opportunity to traumatize me