Venting My daughter makes me feel like the worst failure as a mom and a human.

[Dreamless Sleep]

I know it's her mental issues and substances... but when she is angry the things she says to me cut through me like a flaming machete and make me feel like the lowest piece of human shit.

Then after I ignore her calls for awhile, she apologizes and is sweet as pie again... usually because she wants $$.

The emotional roller coaster is so effin exhausting and mentally beats me down to where I just stop caring about everything else in my life.... which is truly only my dogs and my dying mom I'm taking care of. Days like today I feel like maybe they should be someone else's responsibility.

 

[Mr2005]

Don't worry my mum holds that title

 

[Viola]

I know it's her mental issues and substances... but when she is angry the things she says to me cut through me like a flaming machete and make me feel like the lowest piece of human shit.

Then after I ignore her calls for awhile, she apologizes and is sweet as pie again... usually because she wants $$.

The emotional roller coaster is so effin exhausting and mentally beats me down to where I just stop caring about everything else in my life.... which is truly only my dogs and my dying mom I'm taking care of. Days like today I feel like maybe they should be someone else's responsibility.

Oh god I really understand you. My oldest is the same. she told me she wished she had a mum she could look up to, which was the first knife in the back when I was already depressed with no self esteem, then when I got diagnosed bpd last year she wrote me the cruellest message saying that my diagnosis explained everything and that I'd been a terrible mother to her and that I clearly didn't want help.. and loads of other poisonous stuff. 2 days ago she said she's done with me forever! I know she has serious anger issues and I'm the scapegoat but Jesus, no one knows how to bring you down and kick you in the teeth more than your own child.
What age is yours? Mine is 23 and I'm literally waiting for the day she grows up and sees the pain she causes.

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

Oh god I really understand you. My oldest is the same. she told me she wished she had a mum she could look up to, which was the first knife in the back when I was already depressed with no self esteem, then when I got diagnosed bpd last year she wrote me the cruellest message saying that my diagnosis explained everything and that I'd been a terrible mother to her and that I clearly didn't want help.. and loads of other poisonous stuff. 2 days ago she said she's done with me forever! I know she has serious anger issues and I'm the scapegoat but Jesus, no one knows how to bring you down and kick you in the teeth more than your own child.
What age is yours? Mine is 23 and I'm literally waiting for the day she grows up and sees the pain she causes.

Shes 32 and my only child.

 

[Viola]

Shes 32 and my only child.

Has she got kids of her own? I always think my daughter will only start to understand when she starts a family and sees the difficulties for herself. I have to go out now but if you feel like venting feel free to message me x

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

I've been saying the same thing about waiting for my daughter to grow out of it since she was like 18. I feel like it's not going to happen. She likes the lifestyle she lives. I cant help someone who doesn't want help or think that she needs it.

Has she got kids of her own? I always think my daughter will only start to understand when she starts a family and sees the difficulties for herself. I have to go out now but if you feel like venting feel free to message me x

No she has no desire to reproduce, hates kids and babies. I know it sounds totally selfish of me but it's part of what has led to my feelings that led me here.

I have a daughter who hates me most of the time... a mom who does care about me in her own selfish way but shes dying of cancer. And the dream I had of being a grandma some day will never happen. I will be alone with my pain and anger soon, with only a lifetime of regret to keep me company... and that is not something I'm going to wake up to every day.

 

[Final Escape]

Was she fatherless? Or did she have a close relationship with the father? I had no father and my mom was mostly proximally present, she did the bare minimum like shelter and food, but I was left alone, ignored and neglected alot, there was emotional abuse, and other abuse in the home so as a result I'm not close to my mother and also decided against children because I wasn't sure I could handle raising them properly, hell I couldn't even make relationships work let alone be responsible for kids. I know people always say u just take a risk, and hope for the best but I wanted to be sure my kids would not hate me if I was going to have kids. It was too much of a gamble in my mind. Childlessness does suck bad though especially as u get older. You feel like you are excluded from a lot because of the choice not to have kids, but u won't notice until u are in your 30's like mid 30's early 40's it begins to hit that maybe it was a bad idea to not have kids.

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

Was she fatherless? Or did she have a close relationship with the father? I had no father and my mom was mostly proximally present, she did the bare minimum like shelter and food, but I was left alone, ignored and neglected alot, there was emotional abuse, and other abuse in the home so as a result I'm not close to my mother and also decided against children because I wasn't sure I could handle raising them properly, hell I couldn't even make relationships work let alone be responsible for kids. I know people always say u just take a risk, and hope for the best but I wanted to be sure my kids would not hate me if I was going to have kids. It was too much of a gamble in my mind. Childlessness does suck bad though especially as u get older. You feel like you are excluded from a lot because of the choice not to have kids, but u won't notice until u are in your 30's like mid 30's early 40's it begins to hit that maybe it was a bad idea to not have kids.

I'm sorry you had that experience with your mom. Kids should always have at least one parent they can count on.

My daughter's dad wasn't around after she was a toddler. I was married for 20 years to her step dad, but she decided in her teens that she didnt like him and that's when things went south in her life... and mine. I thought she and I would be closer after I divorced him, but she was already too far into her addiction for me to save our relationship.