bugfart
12x mental hospital stays
- May 21, 2023
- 22
Hello. I've been really disillusioned with my dad. He lives about 25 minutes away from my college and I live in the dorms and almost never see him. My mom and stepdad live 3 and a half hours away in a different state. My dad neglects his cat in favor of staying over at my stepmoms house. My father and stepmom are not legally married and they are just engaged. He leaves his cat alone for weeks at a time with just a water fountain and an automatic food dispenser with pounds of food in it. He drugs his cat up with gabapentin whenever he comes back and I get incredibly depressed if I stay over because the place is a mess, his litter box is over run and the ammonia build up makes the place condemnable, and his sweet cat is just limp in my arms and I can't stop this. I can't drive. I need to learn to drive.
He's also abandoned me for my step family. He sees my stepmoms sons kids as his grand kids. He sees his step daughter as his daughter even though she is 26 and in law school, I am 19 and in college but just in the dorms instead of at home. He's abandoned his own mother with dementia and doesn't send her a cent and argues with her on the phone every time she calls and won't make arrangements for a home for her (she's multiple states away, at least an 8 hour drive) but will drop everything to care for my stepmoms mother. I've had to go to the hospital multiple times. One for the bird flu, because my mothers house is a ranch and chickens aren't exactly known for their cleanliness and logic when it comes to where to poop and I had to clean it up (but I enjoy caring for them).
I got very deathly ill to the point I couldn't swallow my own spit or any water and they thought I had gallbladder stones. My dad said to stop calling him and my roommate was the one to take me to the hospital. He showed up 2 hours later after the ultrasounds and scans were all said and done and my roommate staid with me as long as she could. It showed severe colitis on the ct scan from how sick I was and I got medicine. He drove me to his place while I was recovering and unable to eat solid food. I was too sick and vomiting at every corner we took in the car and he went up to my dorm and I gave him a list of things and he started flirting with my roommate then took the wrong things. He got mad at me and kicked me out while I couldn't eat solid food due to his mistakes.
On another instance I dropped a 25 pound plate at about chest level on the top of my foot accidentally at the gym. I screamed and an off duty cop also working out helped me wrap it with first aid supplies the gym staff had and we called my dad. He said to leave him alone and that he doesn't care and that he had taken sedatives (it was 9 pm) and that if he drove to take me to the hospital or even visit me or drive me back that it would be selfish because I'd be putting my life and his at risk. And he hung up and went to bed. The officer took me and got me through triage and I had to wait a very long time alone after he left. I got a scan and I had bruised my bone badly. I had to uber home.
I send him on an errand the next day and joke that he should make it up to me since he was unable to pick me up from the hospital or see me. I send him to get my prescriptions since I cannot walk. He steals my Xanax from me. I go through Xanax withdrawal while I'm healing from this injury. I triple checked the bag and called the pharmacy and they confirmed it was picked up. I confronted him and he lied and said it fell between his car seat. He returned it and thankfully It was un opened. He stole from me and lied about it while I was unable to walk.
Every time I need him he isn't here. He becomes incredibly angry when I want or need him and when I'm over at his place it's a health hazard due to how long he leaves his cat alone and the black mold that is circulating all the vents and is all over my shower. He says this mold is my fault because I take long showers even though even back when I was a child I rarely visited him and my mom had 3/4ths custody. He didn't really fight for me in court and still claimed to everyone how hard it was to be a single dad and advertised on dating apps that he was a single dad. He's a pathological liar. He once lied to me about going back to college in detail and told me who he met, how the campus was, how the courses were, and the whole time he was sitting in his apartment and he was lying. Every single detail was made up.
My leading theory is that I no longer fit into his life. With the house of cards of lies he's built he doesn't appreciate anyone in the way or shooting it all down with truth. He can get away with fantastical lies if I'm not there. He can restart over as a dad and be a grand dad and have a mother that's not his to take care of. My step family hasn't woken up to his lies and don't know about his past. They will believe whatever he tells them. I am a piece that doesn't match his life therefore he wants me out. But that doesn't define me. I aim to learn to drive this summer. I'm trying to be more independent. I'm trying to learn the skills necessary and be a better person. If I learn to drive, I'll need him less. And if he asks me to take care of him in his old age, I'll ask him to look to his new daughter and new grand kids.
He's also abandoned me for my step family. He sees my stepmoms sons kids as his grand kids. He sees his step daughter as his daughter even though she is 26 and in law school, I am 19 and in college but just in the dorms instead of at home. He's abandoned his own mother with dementia and doesn't send her a cent and argues with her on the phone every time she calls and won't make arrangements for a home for her (she's multiple states away, at least an 8 hour drive) but will drop everything to care for my stepmoms mother. I've had to go to the hospital multiple times. One for the bird flu, because my mothers house is a ranch and chickens aren't exactly known for their cleanliness and logic when it comes to where to poop and I had to clean it up (but I enjoy caring for them).
I got very deathly ill to the point I couldn't swallow my own spit or any water and they thought I had gallbladder stones. My dad said to stop calling him and my roommate was the one to take me to the hospital. He showed up 2 hours later after the ultrasounds and scans were all said and done and my roommate staid with me as long as she could. It showed severe colitis on the ct scan from how sick I was and I got medicine. He drove me to his place while I was recovering and unable to eat solid food. I was too sick and vomiting at every corner we took in the car and he went up to my dorm and I gave him a list of things and he started flirting with my roommate then took the wrong things. He got mad at me and kicked me out while I couldn't eat solid food due to his mistakes.
On another instance I dropped a 25 pound plate at about chest level on the top of my foot accidentally at the gym. I screamed and an off duty cop also working out helped me wrap it with first aid supplies the gym staff had and we called my dad. He said to leave him alone and that he doesn't care and that he had taken sedatives (it was 9 pm) and that if he drove to take me to the hospital or even visit me or drive me back that it would be selfish because I'd be putting my life and his at risk. And he hung up and went to bed. The officer took me and got me through triage and I had to wait a very long time alone after he left. I got a scan and I had bruised my bone badly. I had to uber home.
I send him on an errand the next day and joke that he should make it up to me since he was unable to pick me up from the hospital or see me. I send him to get my prescriptions since I cannot walk. He steals my Xanax from me. I go through Xanax withdrawal while I'm healing from this injury. I triple checked the bag and called the pharmacy and they confirmed it was picked up. I confronted him and he lied and said it fell between his car seat. He returned it and thankfully It was un opened. He stole from me and lied about it while I was unable to walk.
Every time I need him he isn't here. He becomes incredibly angry when I want or need him and when I'm over at his place it's a health hazard due to how long he leaves his cat alone and the black mold that is circulating all the vents and is all over my shower. He says this mold is my fault because I take long showers even though even back when I was a child I rarely visited him and my mom had 3/4ths custody. He didn't really fight for me in court and still claimed to everyone how hard it was to be a single dad and advertised on dating apps that he was a single dad. He's a pathological liar. He once lied to me about going back to college in detail and told me who he met, how the campus was, how the courses were, and the whole time he was sitting in his apartment and he was lying. Every single detail was made up.
My leading theory is that I no longer fit into his life. With the house of cards of lies he's built he doesn't appreciate anyone in the way or shooting it all down with truth. He can get away with fantastical lies if I'm not there. He can restart over as a dad and be a grand dad and have a mother that's not his to take care of. My step family hasn't woken up to his lies and don't know about his past. They will believe whatever he tells them. I am a piece that doesn't match his life therefore he wants me out. But that doesn't define me. I aim to learn to drive this summer. I'm trying to be more independent. I'm trying to learn the skills necessary and be a better person. If I learn to drive, I'll need him less. And if he asks me to take care of him in his old age, I'll ask him to look to his new daughter and new grand kids.
