Help My current plan

[Cynacs]

I've done it, put in an order for SN. I bought it on amazon (which hopefully I did correct). I may get a PO box and deliver it there or have UPS hold it, which I would do to try to hide it better.

I plan on taking the SN w/ water at night, then going to sleep asap. I can't get my hands on anti-emetics and this is my first thought of what to do. Also, doing it at night would give it plenty of time, but if I throw up I would likely be found. Maybe I do this outside where no one will hear? Maybe I lie and say I am spending a night with a friend (hard to pull off, I have no friends)?

On the other hand I've also contacted my therapist, just incase I don't end up going through with this plan.

Living how I am currently living is not an option, I've done a lot of things wrong. Either I get better, or I end it. Those are the options I am giving myself. I feel like this is a good way of dealing with these types of situations. Giving yourself an ultimatum, none of them being how you're currently living.

Any suggestions are welcomed!

 

[LiuKang]

I've done it, put in an order for SN. I bought it on amazon (which hopefully I did correct). I may get a PO box and deliver it there or have UPS hold it, which I would do to try to hide it better.

I plan on taking the SN w/ water at night, then going to sleep asap. I can't get my hands on anti-emetics and this is my first thought of what to do. Also, doing it at night would give it plenty of time, but if I throw up I would likely be found. Maybe I do this outside where no one will hear? Maybe I lie and say I am spending a night with a friend (hard to pull off, I have no friends)?

On the other hand I've also contacted my therapist, just incase I don't end up going through with this plan.

Living how I am currently living is not an option, I've done a lot of things wrong. Either I get better, or I end it. Those are the options I am giving myself. I feel like this is a good way of dealing with these types of situations. Giving yourself an ultimatum, none of them being how you're currently living.

Any suggestions are welcomed!

Good luck

 

[lebrodude]

Personally I think you should explore every option before you take the final one, so it's good you've contacted your therapist.

As for the SN there's plenty documented information on regimens on here should you go down that road. Only real advice to give is plan to the last detail, don't act impulsively, there are many anecdotes of that in here where it didn't work as a result.

 

[ladylazarus4]

I've done it, put in an order for SN. I bought it on amazon (which hopefully I did correct). I may get a PO box and deliver it there or have UPS hold it, which I would do to try to hide it better.

I plan on taking the SN w/ water at night, then going to sleep asap. I can't get my hands on anti-emetics and this is my first thought of what to do. Also, doing it at night would give it plenty of time, but if I throw up I would likely be found. Maybe I do this outside where no one will hear? Maybe I lie and say I am spending a night with a friend (hard to pull off, I have no friends)?

On the other hand I've also contacted my therapist, just incase I don't end up going through with this plan.

Living how I am currently living is not an option, I've done a lot of things wrong. Either I get better, or I end it. Those are the options I am giving myself. I feel like this is a good way of dealing with these types of situations. Giving yourself an ultimatum, none of them being how you're currently living.

Any suggestions are welcomed!

I recommend that you test your SN with the aquarium strip test that you can find on here, because I'm 99.9% sure there's no way to get SN on amazon. It's almost certainly a scam. I'm sorry you're suffering so much.

 

[Cynacs]

Personally I think you should explore every option before you take the final one, so it's good you've contacted your therapist.

As for the SN there's plenty documented information on regimens on here should you go down that road. Only real advice to give is plan to the last detail, don't act impulsively, there are many anecdotes of that in here where it didn't work as a result.

In terms of exploring every option. I've gone to a great therapist in the past, I was doing amazing. Left therapy, got much worse. It feels like I have no one (my fault likely), so I am left to learn through mistakes and end up hurting people. I want to end this cycle.

On doing things right, you're right. I've cancelled the order and will re-ship it to a more secure spot.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I recommend that you test your SN with the aquarium strip test that you can find on here, because I'm 99.9% sure there's no way to get SN on amazon. It's almost certainly a scam. I'm sorry you're suffering so much.

This^

As far as I know, any SN found on Amazon is going to have too low a purity percentage of SN to CTB with. You need >95% purity SN. The crap Amazon sells now is only 6% to 7%. It won't work.

 

[Cynacs]

I recommend that you test your SN with the aquarium strip test that you can find on here, because I'm 99.9% sure there's no way to get SN on amazon. It's almost certainly a scam. I'm sorry you're suffering so much.

That's disappointing, but afaik SN isn't regulated so it seemed legit at first. I had seen people use strips of some kind. Guess I will have to grab some aquarium strips. Thank you for the advice!

This^

As far as I know, any SN found on Amazon is going to have too low a purity percentage of SN to CTB with. You need >95% purity SN. The crap Amazon sells now is only 6% to 7%. It won't work.

I had noticed that the ones selling about 6% to 7% were for preservation. I made a business account and some of the stuff it let me order claimed high-purity, but who knows.

 

[Cynacs]

So, random update. I've bought the SN and it has arrived and is in my PO Box. I plan to go pick it up. I don't have an exact date I want to CTB, but I think it may come soon from stress of work and school and wanting to try to free myself of my mistakes. I plan on giving a gift, a shirt of mine, to a ex girlfriend who is now a friend and then just CTB. I am just worried it will be lonely to do, to drink the SN and just drift away, alone. But I've always been alone, so its probably why I'm the way I am… I just wish I could say goodbye to some of the people I care about without raising alarm bells, so hopefully giving a shirt won't cause red flags.

 

[imdonewithallofthis]

I recommend that you test your SN with the aquarium strip test that you can find on here, because I'm 99.9% sure there's no way to get SN on amazon. It's almost certainly a scam. I'm sorry you're suffering so much.

It only allows accounts that are for business purchase actual SN. Unless the OP accidentally got nitrate wich is easier to buy

 

[sadlittleman32]

Is the sn you bought from Amazon business account YT? I just got it last week and opened and haven't tested it yet but the texture seems off and the cas# says hydrochloric acid which is clearly wrong.. it seems too good to be true even though it says 99.99 percent pure and other threads on here suggest it's nitrate or a scam. I just ordered dmc after finally finding it and think it seems a lot more reliable considering it's been tested and people have successfully ctbd with it.. just saying be careful and don't get sick and at least test it or perhaps find a better source. Best of luck!

 

[annikae]

I've done it, put in an order for SN. I bought it on amazon (which hopefully I did correct). I may get a PO box and deliver it there or have UPS hold it, which I would do to try to hide it better.

I plan on taking the SN w/ water at night, then going to sleep asap. I can't get my hands on anti-emetics and this is my first thought of what to do. Also, doing it at night would give it plenty of time, but if I throw up I would likely be found. Maybe I do this outside where no one will hear? Maybe I lie and say I am spending a night with a friend (hard to pull off, I have no friends)?

On the other hand I've also contacted my therapist, just incase I don't end up going through with this plan.

Living how I am currently living is not an option, I've done a lot of things wrong. Either I get better, or I end it. Those are the options I am giving myself. I feel like this is a good way of dealing with these types of situations. Giving yourself an ultimatum, none of them being how you're currently living.

Any suggestions are welcomed!

Did you check that the sn was >95% ? The fact that you bought on Amazon is strange because nowadays it can't be found that easy.

 

[sadlittleman32]

It says 99.99 percent but it doesn't mean that it is.. I did the blood test and it turned dark brown immediately which is kind of a good sign. I will do an aquarium test when I get the strips but if my dmc arrives before then I might not bother at all. I've only read good things about that source but only sketchy things about this Amazon source. 3 years ago much different story!

 

[Cynacs]

Is the sn you bought from Amazon business account YT? I just got it last week and opened and haven't tested it yet but the texture seems off and the cas# says hydrochloric acid which is clearly wrong.. it seems too good to be true even though it says 99.99 percent pure and other threads on here suggest it's nitrate or a scam. I just ordered dmc after finally finding it and think it seems a lot more reliable considering it's been tested and people have successfully ctbd with it.. just saying be careful and don't get sick and at least test it or perhaps find a better source. Best of luck!

I bought it from DMC, not amazon