My ctb attempt method,- cutting

[deepocean]

Hi,
I recently attempted ctb at my home. The method I used was Cutting.
I wanted to target the carotid arteries and my left radial artery.
But DAMN this body resisted so much my hands didn't move at all. I cried so much while I was trying to push the blade. I even tried to stab, but the moment the tip of the blade touched my skin my body froze.
I knew stabbing won't work. Cutting always the only way. I even marked the location of the arteries.
The carotid are really placed deep in the neck. Muscles and the hyoid bone and the windpipe not to mention the cervical at the back.
I really want to die already.
I thought I'll go with jumping but I couldn't find any find enough building. I had in mind the overpass but it had grass growing under it .

 

[FuneralCry]

To me personally it feels so cruel how it's so difficult to be permanently free from this existence, I also just wish to be gone but anyway I hope that you eventually find peace from all the suffering.

 

[Davey40210]

Cutting is a near impossible method. I'm glad you didn't do it because you could have lasting effects now