BipolarGuy
Enlightened
- Aug 6, 2020
- 1,456
Over the past week or two I have shared a couple of crazy things that have happened to me.
I've received comments saying that these things are "wild" and "hard to believe", and that I should "make a book or movie" about my life!
I want to share a number of the crazy things that have happened to me or that I've witnessed over many years.
These things do not represent a list of every weird or bad thing that has happened to me, just the crazy stories. Some are more crazy than others.
Some of these kind of things 'never happen' (apparently) and are things from the movies....
Whether you find these things shocking or weirdly entertaining, take from it what you will....
2014/15:
I started working at a high school teaching maths.
It started really well and I very quickly built a good rapport with pupils and staff. I was about 25/26 during this time and so this was only a few years after university and so I had fresh memories of what it was like to be in education for many years. I approached it by going down to the kid's level and meeting them there, which they appreciated.
Being a subject specialist, I also taught the syllabus in a way that made sense. A basic example for instance (for any mathematicians out there) would be that I made sure students were comfortable with fractions and how they worked before going into probability, and I covered probability before going on to statistics so that students understood the link.
This is in contrast to people who have relatively little mathematical intuition, where one day you'd be teaching trigonometry and the next you'd be doing simultaneous equations.
I digress...
Some students, particularly those in their final year who were feeling pressure of upcoming exams, approached me and asked if I would be willing to give them extra lessons in school but after school had finished. I obtained permission to do this, and then agreed. Not all of the students that asked me this were in my classes. We're talking a reasonable number of students too. Not 2 or 3, but roughly 15 approached me and joined the informal after school group over the course of a couple of months.
Now, the head of the maths department was a relatively new teacher and had only been teaching for 2 or 3 years herself.
She was only given the position by default because the previous head of maths had suddenly abandoned the job during the Summer before I started working there - Idon't know the details.
The school was also going through major changes: the head teacher had been sacked due to financial misconduct, the school was going through the academisation process to become an academy school, and the school was under pressure from OFSTED to improve exam results.
The head of the maths department, in getting her promotion early in her career (albeit by default) has suddenly gone from somebody who went into teaching to "make a difference", to somebody who was in it for the money, influence and the next promotion.
I give you my word this is absolutely true.
When she heard that kids, even those from other classes, were approaching me asking for extra lessons, she became hostile towards me. Looking back I think she was jealous how somebody could get on well with the kids while at the same time get good results.
In her mind I think it was a case of strict = good results or not strict = bad results.
Anyway, on more than one occasion she asked to have a private meeting with me, in which she asked me to "justify my actions" - the "actions" being willingness to help kids to achieve their potential.
I didn't engage in any bitchiness at first and I remained completely professional. In fact when her voice became raised and her tone became sharp, I would respond by answering in a slightly quieter, softer voice than usual (a bit louder than whispering, but you get it).
responding in this way wound her up more.
At the time I really didn't know why she seemed to have an issue with me.
We interacted fine in front of other people, for example in the staff room.
One day she requested another meeting, and we obviously met.
This time she was far more direct and it was obvious that the issue was personal and not professional. She said that I was "the worst teacher she had ever hired"!
I was startled but managed to hold myself back, and simply responded that the grades my students were achieving were the second best in the department in only my first term at the school - there were about 7 teachers in the maths department at the time.
Christ, I have never seen such fire in a woman's eyes than after I said that!
I don't remember her exact words after that, but she said something along the lines of 'well, you should just know your place and not offer to take on more (referring to the after school work) so early on'.
I did kind of snap at that point, and I can be very direct when I want to be.
I told her that I care deeply about the local community, because I am part of it, whereas she moved to the area after university just to take the job. I said that parts of the local community are not well off financially and that I felt that education could be a way out for some of the kids. After explaining the reasons why I had become passionate so quickly, I then laid into her and the school. I said that she had been "dumped" into her promotion purely becasue there was nobody else willing to do it and the other person suddenly left. I told her that in a school that is failing hundreds of students every year by delivering poor quality education, the department that she had taken charge of is the worse performing department in the school in terms of grades, and yet she's sat in front of me having a go at me because I'm passionate about what I'm doing.
Her jaw hit the floor in a way I had never seen before or after, with anyone else ever.
Her tone changed, as she looked at me differently too, in a way I can't quite describe.
We ended the discussion and continued with the day.
Later in the year, it was announced which academy group would take over the school.
About 25 redundancies were announced!
I decided to resign and I wrote a resignation letter that somehow got passed around the entire school. People literally stopped me in the corridor between lessons to say that I had expressed exactly how they were feeling. Others asked for me to e-mail them a copy of the letter as they had "heard about it".
The letter is in the spoiler below (names changed).
There was another occasion when literally just as I was walking into a lesson to teach, my manager (who had a free period) came up to me just outside the class room and demanded that I not tell students off if they misbehaved.
I hadn't had much of a problem with misbehavior anyway and so it was strange that she was saying this to me, and at a strange time (just before class).
I simply looked at her and said that if she doesn't want me to confront bad behavior, then perhaps she would like to teach the class instead as she had a free period. She just looked at me for a few seconds and walked off. I never heard anymore about it.
At the end of the year, students who had left that same year or who were moving up into their final year added me to Facebook and we stay in touch to this day (I taught years 10 and 11 - final 2 years).
I helped some of the kids with parts of their A-level maths work too :)
I've even seem some of them out and about and had a pint with them.
I made a speech at the end of year presentation, and sarcastically I had been out and purchased a calculator and wrapped it up as a present for the head teacher who had been sacked due to financial misconduct.
It got laughter and applause.
The following academic year, after I had left the school, I was very pleased to hear that the academy that had taken over offered my ex-boss the 'opportunity to resign'....which she took :)
The resignation letter (names changed):
2016:
In 2016 me and my younger sister moved to the capital in order to work for a family business.
The business is owned by our auntie's husband - so our uncle who we're not genetically related to.
It is a business primarily concerned with security (safe rooms, surveillance, etc), commercial cleaning, architecture and renting private housing, so a real multi-faceted business!
Long story short, my sister started flirting with our uncle and tried to get between our uncle and Auntie!
She was interested in his money, as well as having more 'power' within the business.
It got to the stage where she had talked with him about marriage!
Our auntie and uncle got rid of her.
But according to my sister our auntie is the evil one.
They haven't spoken since.
2016/17:
In 2016 I started working for a large accounting practice.
I hates it from day one to be honest. I found the people incredibly dry and anal beyond belief. They were like androids. They seemed to think that in order to remain professional,you must not smile or have any kind of personality.
Obviously not everybody there was like that, but I can only think of three that weren't!
Now, I care passionately about customer service. I know that sounds a bit like something you might say in an interview, but I really do. I experienced some really rubbish customer service in my time and honestly, it doesn't take much to "go the extra mile" from time to time.
Again cutting a very long story short, but after I had settled in and got to know my caseload of clients, I spent all the time I could out of the office at clients premises.
Sometimes it was necessary and sometimes it wasn't to be honest, but clients appreciated it. I didn't overdo it - I didn't go to their premises just to not be in the office, there was always a reason behind it.
My manager supported me, as did the head of department.
They both said that we should be spending more time at client's premises and "be more visible", and that with the uptake of cloud accounting software it is very easy to fall into the trap of just siting in the office working on everything and not see clients at all!
My supervisor however, who was between my and my manager in the structure, did not support me, and tried to make my life difficult.
I don't think he liked the fact that after a while I understood the client's businesses better than he did - when you spend time at a client's premises, they show you around and you get to really get a feel of how things work, and the story behind the numbers.
He directly ordered me on several occasions to not go to client's premises and instead to work from the office.
I did not wish to turn it into a political situation by going to higher managers, and so I just complied.
But he took it a step further, as he also asked me to only visit specific clients a set number of times a month, even though the plan that they were paying for guaranteed a weekly visit for example!
.
I complied with my supervisor's requests, however eventually I did make my higher managers aware.
I was also still in contact with the clients myself, and we were close enough (luckily) for me to be able to explain the situation (in a professional way). I advised them to make a complaint if they were not happy with the service they were receiving, but I asked them not to mention anything I told them.
A few clients did make a complaint, and me and my supervisor were hauled into a meeting with our manager and head of department.
I allowed my supervisor to speak first. He gave this story about how I was difficult to manage because I was hardly ever in the office, and that I had not been doing my work, etc.
In all fairness to my manager, he asked my supervisor to show an example of what work I hadn't done on time. He couldn't show one single example, because not one example existed.
My turn to speak - I focused on the complaints from the clients. By this point in my life I had gained an understanding of how office politics works. I pulled out pages of e-mails that my supervisor had sent to me directly demanding that I visit clients less frequently than their contract stated that I would visit.
Long story short, my supervisor received a warning.
After I left to set up my own business (taking about 5 of their high fee paying clients with me), this guy was let go, though I was never made aware of the details.
This wasn't what you might call a crazy story, but living through it (and all the details I haven't given) was bizarre.
My own business:
Started my own small accounting business and took some of the clients from my previous employer with me (including THE highest fee paying client in what was my department).
One of my clients was a church, which had a fairly substantial side business too.
I'm working there, getting to know how it works and I get invited along to the Christmas part. I go along and enjoy it. Suddenly I find myself going along every Sunday and making friends there....
The pastor ask me if I'd be willing to take on the role of director of finance.
I refuse this, because I didn't know everything about how it worked and directors have specific responsibilities and accountabilities. Plus, being an outside contractor it may be a bit awkward to hold me to account if I was sat on the board of directors. This is just how I felt at the time, and it is not a decision I would come to regret....
Long story short, the side business was basically a place used to provide the 'inner-circle' of 'worthies' with employment. It wasn't doing bad actually but it wasn't paying for itself.
The donations received from the church were propping up this side venture, and by implication the donations from church-gooers were being used in part to provide a living for the inner-circle.
There was also fraud going on.
If the pastor went to another church to speak, the church he went to would pay for accommodation, travel, etc (I suspected this was happening because I had seen it the other way around when pastors from elsewhere visited us- we would pay their costs, but one day I phoned up a church to check and my gut feeling was confirmed).
But the pastor would also reclaim the costs from his own church, so effectively he was being paid twice his expenses.
In addition, in Hillsong and C3 there is this totally unbiblical offering called a "love offering", where church-gooers are 'invited' to donate money as a gift to visiting speakers. It wasn't a small amount. A pastor might leave with effectively a £2,000 cheque (plus expenses paid, remember!).
Our pastor did not declare this income on his self-assessment tax return!
In addition, some 'members of the group of worthies were given a credit card which essentially allowed them access to the church money, which they were using to pay for their own lunch, fuel and even hiring skips when they moved house.
I wrote a letter about my concerns (there were other things) and sent it to all the directors.
The pastor phoned me and told me that I shouldn't have put things like that in an e-mail.
They refused to change, so I suddenly stopped doing their finances and left the church. They were reported by me.
Other stuff went on there, for example manipulation to get people to donate, and other stuff. I have written about that elsewhere, and how I confronted them with a document explaining exactly why "tithing" isn't a requirement for modern day Christians.
My 'job offer' last Saturday:
I was planning to end my life at the weekend, but out of nowhere received a job offer for a job I interviewed for last year (2019).
When I interviewed for the job in 2019, the job was working for a group of two companies, managing the transition to new accounting software for two companies and supervising it thereafter.
I expected that the job was the same as when I interviewed for it.....but no.
Instead I'm given a wild wild story....
The guy owns a business distributing helicopters in the UK and America - he is the sole distributor for several helicopter manufacturers and their parts!
It's an international, multi-million pound business, as you can imagine.
He purchased a second-hand helicopter from Australia (or somewhere) and asks for it to be delivered to his North American office.
At some point during the journey, one of the articulated vehicles that this helicopter is being carried in is involved in a road traffic collision.
The truck overturns and the helicopter is damaged.
He contacts a local American Federal Aviation Authority (FAA) licensed helicopter repair station to get it fixed.
The repair station, he says, used substandard parts to fix the helicopter rather than 'official' parts manufactured by the helicopter manufacturer. This is sometimes done by companies to save money, but safety is jeopardised and this practice is highly illegal.
In addition, the data plate on the helicopter was replaced with another, which you're not allowed to do.
The FAA sign off on the helicopter as being airworthy.
He then sells the helicopter.
All fine so far, except the incident about the helicopter being damaged in a chance road traffic accident.
Now, at some point this guy fires an employee who works in the stock room because he was found to be stealing.
He was apparently taking pictures of parts and putting them on ebay, then selling the parts as if he was the supplier!
This employee, feeling bad about being fired, goes to the FAA and reports the guy for something or other to do with this helicopter.
The FAA and Department of Transport get involved at this point regarding this helicopter.
They approach him regarding issues with this helicopter, but he shows them the letter from the FAA saying it's airworthy etc, meaning he can sell it.
As far as he's concerned up to this point he's done everything by the book. You trust a garage to fix your car correctly, not being a mechanic yourself......
The FAA however, having been made aware of the issues, then take back their certificate of airworthiness for the helicopter, meaning that the person he sold the helicopter to can't fly it!
The guy I met today then gets sued by the guy that purchased the helicopter from him, because of this.
The guy I met then goes back to the repair station who he trusted to repair the helicopter originally, only to find that the guy who owns that repair station has been taken in on gun smuggling charges!
Apparently the guy I met today was held for over 8 months in an American detention centre and repeatedly questioned about all this.
Because he wasn't in the UK running the other business too or his UK operation of the same business, as he was in detention in the US, his suppliers weren't getting paid and obviously had issues contacting him.
Well, the assets and accounts for the company were frozen, presumably because suppier(s) put the business into administration.
It wasn't the same job as it was when I interviewed for it last year. Instead he has simply asked me to prepare accounts for him.
With everything that has happened, he has asked me to just do his accounts.
I looked through it: 7 binder folders rammed full of sales invoices, supplier invoices, shitty bits of paperwork that have nothing to do with anything, half done VAT returns and incomplete corporation tax info from 3 years ago.
No VAT returns have been done for the last year either.
And yet he employed 3 full time accounting staff.....what the fuck have they been doing?
Another Private Accounting Client:
I was doing the accounts for another private client that I knew personally. Nice guy....or so I thought.
He grants me access to his online accounting software for me to do his accounts, and it becomes clear that he has no idea how to use the software.
He has raised sales invoices in order to record expenses, and not entered every bank transaction into the software meaning that it doesn't reconcile, as just two examples!
Naturally, I request information to help me sort this out.
About 6 months and many e-mails later, I still don't have the required information!
I apply for an extension to his filing deadline so that he doesn't get a fine for late filing.
3 months granted as an extension. But by the end of these three months he still hadn't got the information to me, again despite repeated requests!
He demands that I file the accounts with the information I have, however I explain that I cannot do this because under Section 1112 of the Companies Act 2006 it is a criminal offence "for a person to knowingly or recklessly file a document or statement with Companies House that is misleading, false or deceptive".
He then sent me a series of extremely abusive messages, with threats to sue me if I didn't file accounts.....even though they would be incorrect.
In the end, I give up and tell him I'm not going to do any more work for him.
The abuse continues, and so I go "troll mode" and send him a bizarre e-mail:
I have not heard from him since.
So yeah, I hope you can appreciate that I do tend to attract odd people and odd situations. It isn't just the last week!
I've received comments saying that these things are "wild" and "hard to believe", and that I should "make a book or movie" about my life!
I want to share a number of the crazy things that have happened to me or that I've witnessed over many years.
These things do not represent a list of every weird or bad thing that has happened to me, just the crazy stories. Some are more crazy than others.
Some of these kind of things 'never happen' (apparently) and are things from the movies....
Whether you find these things shocking or weirdly entertaining, take from it what you will....
2014/15:
I started working at a high school teaching maths.
It started really well and I very quickly built a good rapport with pupils and staff. I was about 25/26 during this time and so this was only a few years after university and so I had fresh memories of what it was like to be in education for many years. I approached it by going down to the kid's level and meeting them there, which they appreciated.
Being a subject specialist, I also taught the syllabus in a way that made sense. A basic example for instance (for any mathematicians out there) would be that I made sure students were comfortable with fractions and how they worked before going into probability, and I covered probability before going on to statistics so that students understood the link.
This is in contrast to people who have relatively little mathematical intuition, where one day you'd be teaching trigonometry and the next you'd be doing simultaneous equations.
I digress...
Some students, particularly those in their final year who were feeling pressure of upcoming exams, approached me and asked if I would be willing to give them extra lessons in school but after school had finished. I obtained permission to do this, and then agreed. Not all of the students that asked me this were in my classes. We're talking a reasonable number of students too. Not 2 or 3, but roughly 15 approached me and joined the informal after school group over the course of a couple of months.
Now, the head of the maths department was a relatively new teacher and had only been teaching for 2 or 3 years herself.
She was only given the position by default because the previous head of maths had suddenly abandoned the job during the Summer before I started working there - Idon't know the details.
The school was also going through major changes: the head teacher had been sacked due to financial misconduct, the school was going through the academisation process to become an academy school, and the school was under pressure from OFSTED to improve exam results.
The head of the maths department, in getting her promotion early in her career (albeit by default) has suddenly gone from somebody who went into teaching to "make a difference", to somebody who was in it for the money, influence and the next promotion.
I give you my word this is absolutely true.
When she heard that kids, even those from other classes, were approaching me asking for extra lessons, she became hostile towards me. Looking back I think she was jealous how somebody could get on well with the kids while at the same time get good results.
In her mind I think it was a case of strict = good results or not strict = bad results.
Anyway, on more than one occasion she asked to have a private meeting with me, in which she asked me to "justify my actions" - the "actions" being willingness to help kids to achieve their potential.
I didn't engage in any bitchiness at first and I remained completely professional. In fact when her voice became raised and her tone became sharp, I would respond by answering in a slightly quieter, softer voice than usual (a bit louder than whispering, but you get it).
responding in this way wound her up more.
At the time I really didn't know why she seemed to have an issue with me.
We interacted fine in front of other people, for example in the staff room.
One day she requested another meeting, and we obviously met.
This time she was far more direct and it was obvious that the issue was personal and not professional. She said that I was "the worst teacher she had ever hired"!
I was startled but managed to hold myself back, and simply responded that the grades my students were achieving were the second best in the department in only my first term at the school - there were about 7 teachers in the maths department at the time.
Christ, I have never seen such fire in a woman's eyes than after I said that!
I don't remember her exact words after that, but she said something along the lines of 'well, you should just know your place and not offer to take on more (referring to the after school work) so early on'.
I did kind of snap at that point, and I can be very direct when I want to be.
I told her that I care deeply about the local community, because I am part of it, whereas she moved to the area after university just to take the job. I said that parts of the local community are not well off financially and that I felt that education could be a way out for some of the kids. After explaining the reasons why I had become passionate so quickly, I then laid into her and the school. I said that she had been "dumped" into her promotion purely becasue there was nobody else willing to do it and the other person suddenly left. I told her that in a school that is failing hundreds of students every year by delivering poor quality education, the department that she had taken charge of is the worse performing department in the school in terms of grades, and yet she's sat in front of me having a go at me because I'm passionate about what I'm doing.
Her jaw hit the floor in a way I had never seen before or after, with anyone else ever.
Her tone changed, as she looked at me differently too, in a way I can't quite describe.
We ended the discussion and continued with the day.
Later in the year, it was announced which academy group would take over the school.
About 25 redundancies were announced!
I decided to resign and I wrote a resignation letter that somehow got passed around the entire school. People literally stopped me in the corridor between lessons to say that I had expressed exactly how they were feeling. Others asked for me to e-mail them a copy of the letter as they had "heard about it".
The letter is in the spoiler below (names changed).
There was another occasion when literally just as I was walking into a lesson to teach, my manager (who had a free period) came up to me just outside the class room and demanded that I not tell students off if they misbehaved.
I hadn't had much of a problem with misbehavior anyway and so it was strange that she was saying this to me, and at a strange time (just before class).
I simply looked at her and said that if she doesn't want me to confront bad behavior, then perhaps she would like to teach the class instead as she had a free period. She just looked at me for a few seconds and walked off. I never heard anymore about it.
At the end of the year, students who had left that same year or who were moving up into their final year added me to Facebook and we stay in touch to this day (I taught years 10 and 11 - final 2 years).
I helped some of the kids with parts of their A-level maths work too :)
I've even seem some of them out and about and had a pint with them.
I made a speech at the end of year presentation, and sarcastically I had been out and purchased a calculator and wrapped it up as a present for the head teacher who had been sacked due to financial misconduct.
It got laughter and applause.
The following academic year, after I had left the school, I was very pleased to hear that the academy that had taken over offered my ex-boss the 'opportunity to resign'....which she took :)
The resignation letter (names changed):
Dear Mr Smith [head teacher],
After careful thought and consideration I have concluded that my core values are not aligned with the dysfunctional organisational culture at [school name]. Despite my passion for making a difference to the lives of the students, I feel it is time for me to move on in order to maintain my sanity, health and overall happiness.
This letter is to officially inform you of my resignation of my position of mathematics teacher effective as from [date].
Although I was aware of the difficulties faced by the school long before I even applied for my current position, I assumed that those difficulties would have been a result of lack of systems or difficulties working with students from the surrounding area, as I was told upon my induction.
However despite my relatively short time at the school I have come to realise that the students and the local area are not the cause of any of the problems faced by [school name]. Rather that the school is a cess-pit of inflated egos, self-aggrandisement, and managerial and administrative incompetence.
These dynamics are not conducive to innovation and productivity, hence the current situation that the school finds itself in.
Due to the aforementioned issues along with the inconsistent application and enforcement of policies and procedures, I have found myself becoming increasingly frustrated over the time that I have been at the school.
It is my opinion that the school is failing in its duty to serve the local community and I have no ambition to be a part of that.
Yours faithfully,
After careful thought and consideration I have concluded that my core values are not aligned with the dysfunctional organisational culture at [school name]. Despite my passion for making a difference to the lives of the students, I feel it is time for me to move on in order to maintain my sanity, health and overall happiness.
This letter is to officially inform you of my resignation of my position of mathematics teacher effective as from [date].
Although I was aware of the difficulties faced by the school long before I even applied for my current position, I assumed that those difficulties would have been a result of lack of systems or difficulties working with students from the surrounding area, as I was told upon my induction.
However despite my relatively short time at the school I have come to realise that the students and the local area are not the cause of any of the problems faced by [school name]. Rather that the school is a cess-pit of inflated egos, self-aggrandisement, and managerial and administrative incompetence.
These dynamics are not conducive to innovation and productivity, hence the current situation that the school finds itself in.
Due to the aforementioned issues along with the inconsistent application and enforcement of policies and procedures, I have found myself becoming increasingly frustrated over the time that I have been at the school.
It is my opinion that the school is failing in its duty to serve the local community and I have no ambition to be a part of that.
Yours faithfully,
2016:
In 2016 me and my younger sister moved to the capital in order to work for a family business.
The business is owned by our auntie's husband - so our uncle who we're not genetically related to.
It is a business primarily concerned with security (safe rooms, surveillance, etc), commercial cleaning, architecture and renting private housing, so a real multi-faceted business!
Long story short, my sister started flirting with our uncle and tried to get between our uncle and Auntie!
She was interested in his money, as well as having more 'power' within the business.
It got to the stage where she had talked with him about marriage!
Our auntie and uncle got rid of her.
But according to my sister our auntie is the evil one.
They haven't spoken since.
2016/17:
In 2016 I started working for a large accounting practice.
I hates it from day one to be honest. I found the people incredibly dry and anal beyond belief. They were like androids. They seemed to think that in order to remain professional,you must not smile or have any kind of personality.
Obviously not everybody there was like that, but I can only think of three that weren't!
Now, I care passionately about customer service. I know that sounds a bit like something you might say in an interview, but I really do. I experienced some really rubbish customer service in my time and honestly, it doesn't take much to "go the extra mile" from time to time.
Again cutting a very long story short, but after I had settled in and got to know my caseload of clients, I spent all the time I could out of the office at clients premises.
Sometimes it was necessary and sometimes it wasn't to be honest, but clients appreciated it. I didn't overdo it - I didn't go to their premises just to not be in the office, there was always a reason behind it.
My manager supported me, as did the head of department.
They both said that we should be spending more time at client's premises and "be more visible", and that with the uptake of cloud accounting software it is very easy to fall into the trap of just siting in the office working on everything and not see clients at all!
My supervisor however, who was between my and my manager in the structure, did not support me, and tried to make my life difficult.
I don't think he liked the fact that after a while I understood the client's businesses better than he did - when you spend time at a client's premises, they show you around and you get to really get a feel of how things work, and the story behind the numbers.
He directly ordered me on several occasions to not go to client's premises and instead to work from the office.
I did not wish to turn it into a political situation by going to higher managers, and so I just complied.
But he took it a step further, as he also asked me to only visit specific clients a set number of times a month, even though the plan that they were paying for guaranteed a weekly visit for example!
.
I complied with my supervisor's requests, however eventually I did make my higher managers aware.
I was also still in contact with the clients myself, and we were close enough (luckily) for me to be able to explain the situation (in a professional way). I advised them to make a complaint if they were not happy with the service they were receiving, but I asked them not to mention anything I told them.
A few clients did make a complaint, and me and my supervisor were hauled into a meeting with our manager and head of department.
I allowed my supervisor to speak first. He gave this story about how I was difficult to manage because I was hardly ever in the office, and that I had not been doing my work, etc.
In all fairness to my manager, he asked my supervisor to show an example of what work I hadn't done on time. He couldn't show one single example, because not one example existed.
My turn to speak - I focused on the complaints from the clients. By this point in my life I had gained an understanding of how office politics works. I pulled out pages of e-mails that my supervisor had sent to me directly demanding that I visit clients less frequently than their contract stated that I would visit.
Long story short, my supervisor received a warning.
After I left to set up my own business (taking about 5 of their high fee paying clients with me), this guy was let go, though I was never made aware of the details.
This wasn't what you might call a crazy story, but living through it (and all the details I haven't given) was bizarre.
My own business:
Started my own small accounting business and took some of the clients from my previous employer with me (including THE highest fee paying client in what was my department).
One of my clients was a church, which had a fairly substantial side business too.
I'm working there, getting to know how it works and I get invited along to the Christmas part. I go along and enjoy it. Suddenly I find myself going along every Sunday and making friends there....
The pastor ask me if I'd be willing to take on the role of director of finance.
I refuse this, because I didn't know everything about how it worked and directors have specific responsibilities and accountabilities. Plus, being an outside contractor it may be a bit awkward to hold me to account if I was sat on the board of directors. This is just how I felt at the time, and it is not a decision I would come to regret....
Long story short, the side business was basically a place used to provide the 'inner-circle' of 'worthies' with employment. It wasn't doing bad actually but it wasn't paying for itself.
The donations received from the church were propping up this side venture, and by implication the donations from church-gooers were being used in part to provide a living for the inner-circle.
There was also fraud going on.
If the pastor went to another church to speak, the church he went to would pay for accommodation, travel, etc (I suspected this was happening because I had seen it the other way around when pastors from elsewhere visited us- we would pay their costs, but one day I phoned up a church to check and my gut feeling was confirmed).
But the pastor would also reclaim the costs from his own church, so effectively he was being paid twice his expenses.
In addition, in Hillsong and C3 there is this totally unbiblical offering called a "love offering", where church-gooers are 'invited' to donate money as a gift to visiting speakers. It wasn't a small amount. A pastor might leave with effectively a £2,000 cheque (plus expenses paid, remember!).
Our pastor did not declare this income on his self-assessment tax return!
In addition, some 'members of the group of worthies were given a credit card which essentially allowed them access to the church money, which they were using to pay for their own lunch, fuel and even hiring skips when they moved house.
I wrote a letter about my concerns (there were other things) and sent it to all the directors.
The pastor phoned me and told me that I shouldn't have put things like that in an e-mail.
They refused to change, so I suddenly stopped doing their finances and left the church. They were reported by me.
Other stuff went on there, for example manipulation to get people to donate, and other stuff. I have written about that elsewhere, and how I confronted them with a document explaining exactly why "tithing" isn't a requirement for modern day Christians.
My 'job offer' last Saturday:
I was planning to end my life at the weekend, but out of nowhere received a job offer for a job I interviewed for last year (2019).
When I interviewed for the job in 2019, the job was working for a group of two companies, managing the transition to new accounting software for two companies and supervising it thereafter.
I expected that the job was the same as when I interviewed for it.....but no.
Instead I'm given a wild wild story....
The guy owns a business distributing helicopters in the UK and America - he is the sole distributor for several helicopter manufacturers and their parts!
It's an international, multi-million pound business, as you can imagine.
He purchased a second-hand helicopter from Australia (or somewhere) and asks for it to be delivered to his North American office.
At some point during the journey, one of the articulated vehicles that this helicopter is being carried in is involved in a road traffic collision.
The truck overturns and the helicopter is damaged.
He contacts a local American Federal Aviation Authority (FAA) licensed helicopter repair station to get it fixed.
The repair station, he says, used substandard parts to fix the helicopter rather than 'official' parts manufactured by the helicopter manufacturer. This is sometimes done by companies to save money, but safety is jeopardised and this practice is highly illegal.
In addition, the data plate on the helicopter was replaced with another, which you're not allowed to do.
The FAA sign off on the helicopter as being airworthy.
He then sells the helicopter.
All fine so far, except the incident about the helicopter being damaged in a chance road traffic accident.
Now, at some point this guy fires an employee who works in the stock room because he was found to be stealing.
He was apparently taking pictures of parts and putting them on ebay, then selling the parts as if he was the supplier!
This employee, feeling bad about being fired, goes to the FAA and reports the guy for something or other to do with this helicopter.
The FAA and Department of Transport get involved at this point regarding this helicopter.
They approach him regarding issues with this helicopter, but he shows them the letter from the FAA saying it's airworthy etc, meaning he can sell it.
As far as he's concerned up to this point he's done everything by the book. You trust a garage to fix your car correctly, not being a mechanic yourself......
The FAA however, having been made aware of the issues, then take back their certificate of airworthiness for the helicopter, meaning that the person he sold the helicopter to can't fly it!
The guy I met today then gets sued by the guy that purchased the helicopter from him, because of this.
The guy I met then goes back to the repair station who he trusted to repair the helicopter originally, only to find that the guy who owns that repair station has been taken in on gun smuggling charges!
Apparently the guy I met today was held for over 8 months in an American detention centre and repeatedly questioned about all this.
Because he wasn't in the UK running the other business too or his UK operation of the same business, as he was in detention in the US, his suppliers weren't getting paid and obviously had issues contacting him.
Well, the assets and accounts for the company were frozen, presumably because suppier(s) put the business into administration.
It wasn't the same job as it was when I interviewed for it last year. Instead he has simply asked me to prepare accounts for him.
With everything that has happened, he has asked me to just do his accounts.
I looked through it: 7 binder folders rammed full of sales invoices, supplier invoices, shitty bits of paperwork that have nothing to do with anything, half done VAT returns and incomplete corporation tax info from 3 years ago.
No VAT returns have been done for the last year either.
And yet he employed 3 full time accounting staff.....what the fuck have they been doing?
Another Private Accounting Client:
I was doing the accounts for another private client that I knew personally. Nice guy....or so I thought.
He grants me access to his online accounting software for me to do his accounts, and it becomes clear that he has no idea how to use the software.
He has raised sales invoices in order to record expenses, and not entered every bank transaction into the software meaning that it doesn't reconcile, as just two examples!
Naturally, I request information to help me sort this out.
About 6 months and many e-mails later, I still don't have the required information!
I apply for an extension to his filing deadline so that he doesn't get a fine for late filing.
3 months granted as an extension. But by the end of these three months he still hadn't got the information to me, again despite repeated requests!
He demands that I file the accounts with the information I have, however I explain that I cannot do this because under Section 1112 of the Companies Act 2006 it is a criminal offence "for a person to knowingly or recklessly file a document or statement with Companies House that is misleading, false or deceptive".
He then sent me a series of extremely abusive messages, with threats to sue me if I didn't file accounts.....even though they would be incorrect.
In the end, I give up and tell him I'm not going to do any more work for him.
The abuse continues, and so I go "troll mode" and send him a bizarre e-mail:
I have not heard from him since.
So yeah, I hope you can appreciate that I do tend to attract odd people and odd situations. It isn't just the last week!
