Venting My childhood/upbringing

[Csmith8827]

So I got exposed to porn at a really young age like 7. Then I got exposed to gay porn @ like 12. Long story short, started masturbating, going to chat rooms, phone sex, etc. Then at 15 I started hooking up with guys. This is the really sad/bad part. From 15 up until about 24 I had alot of really sleazy, trashy, disgusting sexual partners. Nothing like the guys you see in porn. But I mean I guess not all of them were bad maybe like 50℅. It's just that people don't respect that that really scarred me emotionally and mentally having to go through all of that. There is no respect for my feelings in regards to any of that in my life. It's just evil and like there like "Yeah well get over it and this is who you are now" and try to label me or stick a label on someone based upon what happened to them during adolescence. It's really just inappropriate and I see it as evil honestly. Just thanks for taking the time to read this and let me believe that genuine, sincere, good-hearted people DO EXIST in this world who will take the time to listen to, understand, accept, and respect your feelings. You should never invalidate anyone yet I'm invalidated on a daily basis. I swear i live in a sinister simulation of some sort. It's terrible. Thanks for allowing me to express how I feel, if only through a website even. It means the world. Take care all.

 

[Arrow]

Take care all.

take care pal love you

 

[Tintypographer]

Hey man, I understand that you're feeling bad and are scarred. I was never abused and never in a situation like what you described but I completely understand that there are parts of a person's life that we wish we could surgically remove the memories or events and make them disappear as a gap. It's like who you are as a path from childhood to now has hurt you. Sex has a way of capturing people's feelings that goes beyond the act and becomes part of the intimate emotions and memories and if there not good ones for you then that sticks with you. I think what a lot of people don't understand about that kind of hurt is that it doesn't go away. The memory sits on your brain in front whenever it happens to come forward and youre stuck with it and how it affects you.

And in today's world we seem to first put the label on a person then work very hard to make sure that label sticks forever. We see it in politics both good and bad, in jobs and careers both good and bad, in the criminal system and bureaucracy. We forget that some things that happened to a person just need to be forgotten or dropped and we hold onto them


I'm so sorry man. Hope there are some kind people close to you in life who listen without judging.

 

[GoBack]

No one can tell you " this is who you are now" They were experiences, not your fault you were led down that path so young . If people label you fuck em.

 

[deltaofvenus]

Being invalidated is the worst thing to do to someone that is struggling. I hear you, I see your pain. What you are feeling is valid, never let someone take that away from you. They don't know your life experiences, you do.

As for feeling like you're in a sinister simulation, I feel that too. Especially this year with the pandemic. Life is a cruel joke, and humans turn that cruel joke into a literal living nightmare.

Just know that I see you here, I'm sending you good vibes, if you are open to that. I'm new here, but I hope to see you around.

Can I offer some advice? If it doesn't work for you, just leave it. Please treat yourself with kindness today, and whenever possible. I don't know your entire story, but I do know that you deserve kindness from yourself. <3

 

[Arrow]

Please treat yourself with kindness today, and whenever possible.

this quote alone should be pinned on the front page somewhere

 

[Csmith8827]

Can I offer some advice? If it doesn't work for you, just leave it.

What do you mean?

 

[deltaofvenus]

What do you mean?

What I mean is that when someone offers advice that doesn't work for you, it's okay to leave it alone, or ignore it.

I try to offer insight to others, and I try to keep in mind that my advice may not be appropriate for all people. Giving out advice is a tricky thing since we simply can't understand one's experience. We can try to understand, but the way a person experiences the world is very complex, and there are always multiple factors at play.

 

[Csmith8827]

What I mean is that when someone offers advice that doesn't work for you, it's okay to leave it alone, or ignore it.

I try to offer insight to others, and I try to keep in mind that my advice may not be appropriate for all people. Giving out advice is a tricky thing since we simply can't understand one's experience. We can try to understand, but the way a person experiences the world is very complex, and there are always multiple factors at play.

Ok yeah I actually get that and thanks for the advice. I'll keep it in mind as I've gotta make a pretty important decision in the future. You're so real it's like I can reach out and touch you lol.