Venting My cheating ex has no worth to me anymore

[ThatStateOfMind]

I just recently thought of this as I was deleting things from my photos. I remembered how I used to pine for my ex before we ever got together, and how much I really wanted to be with her, I idolized her and placed her on a pedestal. I then got my chance with her, and it worked for a year and some months then she cheated. Even after that, I can't believe I stupidly pined after her for MONTHS afterwards. She cheated and left me for the guy she cheated with and I was an idiot for continuing to want her. I even had a failed suicide attempts ~3 months after we broke up, and a lingering desire to do so again for a long time (those feelings could be a whole post of their own. Tbh, with how much I used to vent on here, it probably is a post on here, I don't like reading my old posts, they reek of desperation)

I can happily say she has no worth to me anymore. I feel sick at the thought of ever being with her again, and I feel I can do way better now. Now, have I completely recovered? No, honestly, I believe I'll have trust issues for a good while, but I think I can work through it. I almost tried a long distance relationship with someone I met here, but we felt it'd be better to remain friends. I say this to say I am amazed that I can have feelings for someone else besides my ex as I genuinely felt my life shatter in the blink of an eye when she left.

I could be a lot more hateful in this post, as I have many negative things I could and would like to say about her, but that feels immature of me. The most I'll say is I sometimes take pleasure in bad things happening to her which she occasionally calls or messages me to vent about, especially her concerns of her boyfriend cheating, which were never confirmed (really the guy who you cheated with might be okay with cheating, who would've guessed). I'm almost certain he did, I tried to warn her when I still liked her, but she dismissed it, saying he's not that kind of person.

tldr: 2 years after my breakup, I feel almost completely over my ex, even feeling a little disgusted by her. Thought about attempting LDR but didn't. I take pleasure in unpleasant things happening to her.

 

[OCDsufferer]

I'm glad you were able to get over it! Truly such an awful and shitty thing to do to someone. I hope that eventually you won't even remember what her face looked like.

 

[NumbItAll]

which she occasionally calls or messages me to vent about, especially her concerns of her boyfriend cheating,

Um wow that is rich lol. FAFO

 

[Dark Window]

Just lol at her now being cheated on.

Let the hoe be with another hoe and be treat like a hoe.

You dodged a bullet bro. Find a decent person.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It can be impressive what we can get over. How our feelings can change. I've been through a few rounds of what I believe were crazy limerent crushes. But, if anyone had told me they were at the time, I would have been so insulted. I was so sure it was love.

I'm glad you've gotten over it. It's a relief isn't it? It was a relief to me to not be so obsessed with people. Now that I know I'm prone to it, I'm better at handling it.

I suppose that's why people are against suicide. That we can change and cope with things. Is your life in general better now do you think?

 

[KillingPain267]

I'm not there yet if I ever will be. My relationship lasted way longer than yours before it ended, and it was my first. I knew already if it ever ended that I would ctb. And then it did end. It's just, SI kicked in but if guns were legal in my country I would be gone by now. I'm surprised I have lasted this long. But 6 months later my determination to ctb is just stronger because everything seems absurd and meaningless. I have nothing to look forward to every night and morning.

 

[DefinitelyReady]

I just recently thought of this as I was deleting things from my photos. I remembered how I used to pine for my ex before we ever got together, and how much I really wanted to be with her, I idolized her and placed her on a pedestal. I then got my chance with her, and it worked for a year and some months then she cheated. Even after that, I can't believe I stupidly pined after her for MONTHS afterwards. She cheated and left me for the guy she cheated with and I was an idiot for continuing to want her. I even had a failed suicide attempts ~3 months after we broke up, and a lingering desire to do so again for a long time (those feelings could be a whole post of their own. Tbh, with how much I used to vent on here, it probably is a post on here, I don't like reading my old posts, they reek of desperation)

I can happily say she has no worth to me anymore. I feel sick at the thought of ever being with her again, and I feel I can do way better now. Now, have I completely recovered? No, honestly, I believe I'll have trust issues for a good while, but I think I can work through it. I almost tried a long distance relationship with someone I met here, but we felt it'd be better to remain friends. I say this to say I am amazed that I can have feelings for someone else besides my ex as I genuinely felt my life shatter in the blink of an eye when she left.

I could be a lot more hateful in this post, as I have many negative things I could and would like to say about her, but that feels immature of me. The most I'll say is I sometimes take pleasure in bad things happening to her which she occasionally calls or messages me to vent about, especially her concerns of her boyfriend cheating, which were never confirmed (really the guy who you cheated with might be okay with cheating, who would've guessed). I'm almost certain he did, I tried to warn her when I still liked her, but she dismissed it, saying he's not that kind of person.

tldr: 2 years after my breakup, I feel almost completely over my ex, even feeling a little disgusted by her. Thought about attempting LDR but didn't. I take pleasure in unpleasant things happening to her.

Good for you bro. Growth*

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

It can be impressive what we can get over. How our feelings can change. I've been through a few rounds of what I believe were crazy limerent crushes. But, if anyone had told me they were at the time, I would have been so insulted. I was so sure it was love.

I'm glad you've gotten over it. It's a relief isn't it? It was a relief to me to not be so obsessed with people. Now that I know I'm prone to it, I'm better at handling it.

I suppose that's why people are against suicide. That we can change and cope with things. Is your life in general better now do you think?

It is a huge relief to finally feel "free". Not sure if that's entirely the correct word but it feels right. I am also prone to attaching easily, and I can agree that being self-aware feels like the first and best step to handle it.

My life in general is honestly 10x better. I think a big part is her breaking up with me which pushed me to go to college. It allowed me to re-envision a different, better future for myself which I still hold onto today. This should at least keep me going until 2026 and longer if I get a job and enjoy it. I also don't feel tied down in a relationship with someone like her, who, in hindsight, was very immature.

I'm not there yet if I ever will be. My relationship lasted way longer than yours before it ended, and it was my first. I knew already if it ever ended that I would ctb. And then it did end. It's just, SI kicked in but if guns were legal in my country I would be gone by now. I'm surprised I have lasted this long. But 6 months later my determination to ctb is just stronger because everything seems absurd and meaningless. I have nothing to look forward to every night and morning.

I'm not going to pretend I completely understand what you're going through, as you said that your relationship was much longer. What I can add is that 6 months after my breakup, I too was in a huge state of despair. If you have any shred of interest in living, I also would advise trying to find and seek out a purpose. If you don't, disregard that last part, but I do wish you the best

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Defintely one of the most CTB-inducing things one can go through. But once time heals the obession and feelings of inadequacy, and you realize she is the next person's burden, you can start living gain.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Defintely one of the most CTB-inducing things one can go through. But once time heals the obession and feelings of inadequacy, and you realize she is the next person's burden, you can start living gain.

Yeah, I genuinely just feel like it's her loss at this point. I still get sad and downright depressed over it sometimes, but I realize it's her fault not mine and it helps me feel better.

 

[Trav1989]

I just recently thought of this as I was deleting things from my photos. I remembered how I used to pine for my ex before we ever got together, and how much I really wanted to be with her, I idolized her and placed her on a pedestal. I then got my chance with her, and it worked for a year and some months then she cheated. Even after that, I can't believe I stupidly pined after her for MONTHS afterwards. She cheated and left me for the guy she cheated with and I was an idiot for continuing to want her. I even had a failed suicide attempts ~3 months after we broke up, and a lingering desire to do so again for a long time (those feelings could be a whole post of their own. Tbh, with how much I used to vent on here, it probably is a post on here, I don't like reading my old posts, they reek of desperation)

I can happily say she has no worth to me anymore. I feel sick at the thought of ever being with her again, and I feel I can do way better now. Now, have I completely recovered? No, honestly, I believe I'll have trust issues for a good while, but I think I can work through it. I almost tried a long distance relationship with someone I met here, but we felt it'd be better to remain friends. I say this to say I am amazed that I can have feelings for someone else besides my ex as I genuinely felt my life shatter in the blink of an eye when she left.

I could be a lot more hateful in this post, as I have many negative things I could and would like to say about her, but that feels immature of me. The most I'll say is I sometimes take pleasure in bad things happening to her which she occasionally calls or messages me to vent about, especially her concerns of her boyfriend cheating, which were never confirmed (really the guy who you cheated with might be okay with cheating, who would've guessed). I'm almost certain he did, I tried to warn her when I still liked her, but she dismissed it, saying he's not that kind of person.

tldr: 2 years after my breakup, I feel almost completely over my ex, even feeling a little disgusted by her. Thought about attempting LDR but didn't. I take pleasure in unpleasant things happening to her.

I've been there before, you just have to forgot about her and move on. I moved on many times and none of my relationships worked in the end because I lack motivation. What is the point of being motivated in this life though? Working until your nearly dead, paying for things to own them and then paying taxes on them forever? Romance blossoms and then wilts, the ones we love will come and go, our parents will pass away, eventually we will be forgotten.

Yeah, you can travel and experience new things, I did that at one point of my life and I can honestly admit that it was overrated and just made my life more financially difficult in the end and the grass is never greener on the other side.

if your not ignorant and allow yourself to entertain/be entertained by fleeting whimsies, at a certain point in your thirties or forties you begin to realize that life is just a hamster wheel, some spend longer on it than others and some go faster or slower but we all eventually get off at one point. It all just depends on how long you want to put up with this existence.

I for one have seen, done, and experienced enough of the human condition to know that I am more than ready to get off of the wheel and be at peace.

Had it all, lost it all, had it all again, lost it all again, etc so on and so forth. Each new iteration of the repeating cycle just blends together and feels more monotonous than the last one and the cyclical nature of everything just becomes tiresome.

I'm at the point where I don't even want to leave my bed most days, eat anything, or care about maintaining relationships because it's just pointless and will stress you out after the honeymoon phase.

I'd rather CTB than have constant ups and downs because I've always valued stability and after 34 years on this planet I can admit that the odds of finding such stability are so low you may as well be playing the lottery. But as they say, the best way to win the lottery is to not partake at all.

If you desire to put up with romantic interests I suggest you date women way below your league, I always picked women who were around mine and it takes VERY little to tip the scales on one persons favor which eventually leads to small issues which snowball into larger ones and eventually an avalanche heads your way and everything falls apart.

But if you date women below your league physical attraction is unbalanced and you will desire your partner less than they desire you which will lead to issues as well I'd assume and things will likely head in the same direction.

90% of married couples who made it to 40+ years (a feat in and of itself) had to make compromises to eachother which means one side getting less payout and being able to deal with such an imbalance. My parents are one example of this, they've been married for over 36 years and my mother has had to allow herself to move by the wayside because my father is the dominant one in the marriage. She dislikes it but she deals with it because she knows she has nowhere else to go at her age.

Love is complex, life is complex, I'm personally not a fan of either but to each their own.