Venting My chance is probably gone forever

[Owl of Minerva]

This is my second time having a psychosis, just before it hit I had planned everything for my departure from this world.

Then when it hit I was taken to a psych ward immediatly, I had planned for it if this where to happen.

But then these goddamn psychologists managed to make me comfortable enough to tell them all my plans, now I'm stuck in this prison and will probably never have a way out.

I feel so manipulated, It's so unfair.. this life, this world

I pray I get another chance to ctb with dignity

 

[Meretlein]

What were your plans? I don't see how the psych ward can do much to stop you once you get out unless you have N that was confiscated or something.

 

[Owl of Minerva]

What were your plans? I don't see how the psych ward can do much to stop you once you get out unless you have N that was confiscated or something.

I bought the sn, but it wont arrive for some time. The psychologists made me comfortable enough to tell my parents about my plans also.

Now my parents are currently leaving in my place where the sn was sent to. I very much doubt my mother won't trash it as soon as it arrives.

 

[Isadeth]

I had my exit bag and supplies confiscated after I was put inpatient for pulling a gun on myself. Like you, I was trying to be honest. Too honest. I'm not sure where you're from, but you can put a request in to leave. It can take 72 hours, plus convincing the psych doctor you're okay... but doable. I finally had enough after a week and told them their medications were making me feel better. They weren't.

I'm sorry you're in the position you're in. You're not alone. Many of us here have had the same thing happen. Just try to go with the flow. The more "easier" you are as a patient, the more likely you can leave. Participate in goals and group, crafts, socialize at meals, eat your meals, take your medications and your risk level is lowered fairly quickly.

 

[Owl of Minerva]

yeah, i guess yhey cant stop me from buying again forever isnt it

i pray i get to leave this world in a dignified manner

 

[Isadeth]

yeah, i guess yhey cant stop me from buying again forever isnt it

i pray i get to leave this world in a dignified manner

Honestly, the best part of my stay was the people. get to know some of them and their stories... it really helps make the stay easier if you know who you're around. Xx

 

[Owl of Minerva]

Honestly, the best part of my stay was the people. get to know some of them and their stories... it really helps make the stay easier if you know who you're around. Xx

definetly, people are so interesting

is sad the only way i get to meet people is by being forced into a psych ward

 

[Isadeth]

definetly, people are so interesting

is sad the only way i get to meet people is by being forced into a psych ward

I felt like I finally found people that truly understood me. Before that, I felt out of place. Yeah, it's kinda crappy that it's in a psych ward, but you're literally all in there together. So you already have something in common to talk about lol

 

[elfgyoza]

I felt like I finally found people that truly understood me. Before that, I felt out of place. Yeah, it's kinda crappy that it's in a psych ward, but you're literally all in there together. So you already have something in common to talk about lol

Yeah until the staff overhear you and tell you to stop talking about 'negative things' lmao

 

[Isadeth]

Yeah until the staff overhear you and tell you to stop talking about 'negative things' lmao

Oh absolutely, lol just don't discuss methods. I did and caught a few extra days

 

[elfgyoza]

Oh absolutely, lol just don't discuss methods. I did and caught a few extra days

Ah that's unlucky, we talk about our attempts and death all the time if there's no staff around! But when I snuck in a pencil sharpener and self harmed the nurse kept telling me off and told me to stop laughing lol

 

[Isadeth]

Ah that's unlucky, we talk about our attempts and death all the time if there's no staff around! But when I snuck in a pencil sharpener and self harmed the nurse kept telling me off and told me to stop laughing lol

They took my colored pencils because a girl was trying to harm with anything she could. She was a 1:1 near the nurses station. The shift before let me have the pencils if I only had one at a time and exchanged them while coloring in front of the station. After shift change they're like, no... too bad. Use markers. I snapped for a minute and said well now it's gonna look like shit... it's the last corner I pulled back quickly and said, "I'm not mad at YOU, I'm mad at the situation" that kept me from being written up as aggressive haha


They also refused to let me have my college textbooks with me... as well as my drug book. I was put inpatient in a college town where a majority of those admitted just wanted an extension for finals. Anyways, they could have their textbooks (engineering, mathematics, etc) but because mine had to do with death and medication I fell behind while everyone else didn't. I'm still resentful for that.

 

[lost_soul83]

yeah, i guess yhey cant stop me from buying again forever isnt it

i pray i get to leave this world in a dignified manner

I am so sorry all this happened to you. But as a word of advice, NEVER tell psych professionals the truth! They will use it against you EVERY SINGLE TIME! I hope you get out of the hospital quickly and can carry on with your plans. Just DON'T TELL ANYONE what they are. Good luck.

 

[Owl of Minerva]

I'm just trying to follow my intuition.

It feels like it is all I have left.

 

[signifying nothing]

I'm just trying to follow my intuition.

It feels like it is all I have left.

If it felt like the right thing to do at the time then that's all you can do. It is good that you have that self belief.

 

[AutoTap]

I understand some of them can make you feel safe and like they truly can help you. I never told them about my SN or any of that but my parents found it in the mail then told the therapist and it was a 180.

It's sad

 

[Owl of Minerva]

it really feels like this



trapped in this world, despite being able to dream of something better

 

[Owl of Minerva]

I wonder how long I'll be staying here.. the sn hasn't arrived yet as far as I know..

man I'm in such a mess right now, only thing keeping me going is the notion that things might get better.

 

[Owl of Minerva]

 

[Owl of Minerva]

Cosecha transmisiones

Thing I made. Looks a bit like a "caracol".

forum.watmm.com

 

[shadowchaser]

I'm so sorry you're in this situation, and glad to hear that you're holding out hope <3 I hope you're being treated okay in there

off topic; sorry:

Yeah until the staff overhear you and tell you to stop talking about 'negative things' lmao

this happens to you guys too? Lmao apparently "police" is also a banned word at the unit I went to.

 

[Owl of Minerva]

Now I am trapped in a place for more serious psychosis cases. They think I have corona so they have me completely isolated.

I feel like I am loosing my mind completely, nothing to do nowhere to run.

How can this world be so cruel...

 

[wunschtraum]

oh dear i feel with you...
How are you?

 

[Owl of Minerva]

oh dear i feel with you...
How are you?

I have started on the road to reovey:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/my-recovery-experience.59216/#post-1096008

It has been a hectic and wild experience but I have learned to see the world with new eyes by telling the truth and following my intuition.

I pray all of you find your own path, and do not worry about death. It is pat of life.

M.

 

[Spitfire]

I have started on the road to reovey:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/my-recovery-experience.59216/#post-1096008

It has been a hectic and wild experience but I have learned to see the world with new eyes by telling the truth and following my intuition.

I pray all of you find your own path, and do not worry about death. It is pat of life.

M.

I like truth. Honesty and truth are the absolute top priorities.