Venting My cat is scheduled for euthanasia tonight

[E_Berwick]

Hi all,

I figured one year after creating my account here I'd finally drop in and say hello, but also wanted to reach out to a community I know will understand me, given my time here. And I need a place to get this all out instead of bottling it all up.

My cat, which I adopted 17 years ago almost exactly to the date, has had a variety of issues crop up since late October of this year, all starting with a bloody sneeze. This went away after a couple of days but additional symptoms gave rise and persisted, while others went away over the next couple of months.

Over the last 7-10 days, she has been having increasing breathing difficulties, which is affecting her sleep, eating, and happiness. I can help her with it if I insert a finger between her teeth, then her mouth opens-up and she takes a big inhale and seems relieved. But obviously not a solution.

Based on the insane amount of digging I had to do online, she has what I assume is 'nasopharyngeal stenosis' (snorting/snoring sound while awake, slurping noises present when using her tongue), but I am not very willing to have her back in for more carrier-rides, tests, pokes, technician handling, and stress.

The shitty part is that she is in otherwise great health for her age; she gets around very well and is alert, her vital organs are okay, her blood-work is great, kidneys are still doing mostly okay, and urinalysis came back unremarkable. But she has other conditions and issues as well, and to treat the immediate issue would probably require an ER visit with surgery and recovery. And what would that look like, with recovery?

I've always been able to help her through anything. I would love to come to a definitive diagnosis to have an answer, but it wouldn't be fair to her. Do I 'wait and see' if this somehow passes? I'm guessing it won't, given that things have escalated as they have, without getting any better.

I am questioning myself whether I'm strong enough for this or not. And at what point does trying to continue treatment become ridiculous? And then to what end? To delay the inevitable? I feel like it would be kicking the can down the road.

I knew this day was coming, I've dreaded it since she was 8 years old when I first began thinking about what it will be like to let her go. Back then I was cocky about it, like, I knew it would be a big deal for sure, but not so bad if you're well-prepared for it. Well that was 9 years ago during which time she and I developed a very strong bond; she's my 'ride or die'. Many so-called 'friends' have come and gone, relationships born and died, family members became distant and estranged. But she is my rock, my only constant in life. The one thing that's always there for me, waiting for me to come home, who doesn't ask for much.

I am absolutely terrified of having to go through this, I've never lost anything this close to me, ever. Worse yet is I live alone - she is all I have. She is the reason I get up every day.

I have a history of suicidal ideation, but last year I became quite serious about it which why I created this account. My method is determined and I have the supplies on hand. I promised my cat that I wouldn't leave this place without first seeing her to the other side. No way would I ever leave her like that.

I keep trying to remind myself that I'm doing the most compassionate and selfless thing, but it's hard. Especially when I keep second-guessing further treatment options. I think that's the bargaining and denial phase of grief. I find myself wondering if I should call to reschedule for tomorrow instead, to give us another day together? But then that's another day of her suffering...

I cannot envision a future without my little girl. She and I always have each other during the holidays, but this was absolutely the worst Christmas I've ever spent. NYE is going to be even worse. I feel like my chances of suicide will be a foregone conclusion after this. I am utterly broken right now and don't know what to do.

 

[FuneralCry]

I can imagine it must be painful going through all this. Cats are certainly better than humans. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Snake of Eden]

What a sweet looking ball of fluff. You are so lucky to have had each other for that length of time. It must be very painful indeed to see her suffer and feel the need to part ways as a solution. Whatever you decide I wish you and her peace and that you meet again even if you parted.

 

[just_wanna_die]

I know what you are going through from a canine perspective. I've seen 5 of my precious pups die since 1996 and it never gets any easier. Our fur babies become our constant companions, our reason to live, and it is absolutely heartbreaking when their time comes and they have to leave us behind to carry on without them when we put them to sleep. And that is what it is, for them or for us when our time comes. We just "go to sleep" and never wake up, sinking into an eternal blissful sleep without even knowing that we have. They, nor we, will have any awareness of oblivion. I know, because I survived 15 grams of N because I was found too soon. Long story (see my first post for details if you want). What I can tell you is that I simply fell asleep and was not aware of anything anymore until I awoke some 12 or 13 days later. Saw nothing, hear nothing, felt nothing, thought nothing, no dreams, no fear, not even darkness. I suspect that was what happened to my dogs when they passed. They do not know they are dead and don't know they were ever alive. To quote Epicurus by way of Lucretius, "Death is nothing to us".

The hard part is that it is up to you to decide what you want to do. If your beautiful cat is still in reasonably good health, alert and vital organs are still ok, enjoy the precious time you still have together. Consult with your vet to see what, if any, course of action you can take for her other issues and make a decision based on that. Have whatever surgery is needed, or just keep her a while longer if possible, or put her to sleep. Those are your 3 options and only you can decide. I suppose your only solace is that if you need to put her to sleep and you want to go when she does, you said you have what you need and you can go together.

That is my plan now that my mother is soon to pass. No idea when, she's in a long-term care facility, just came back from a visit today and she can barely speak and could not tell me if she recognizes me (she has Alzheimer's). I told her that I don't have a future without her and when she goes I go. I wanted to go 3 years ago and almost did because I wanted to avoid precisely what I am going through now, seeing my beloved mother wasting away. We had made a pact years ago to go when the other goes but her loss of memory made that impossible when I almost went. But now I have what I need and lessons learned from the first time so my second exit attempt should be successful.

I wish you luck and love during this difficult time, it is never easy. Grief is the price we pay for love.

I wish you and your beloved cat peace.

 

[Smart No More]

I feel for you. I love my cat dearly and she's a big factor in my choices surrounding timing of ctb.


I know you're booking your little friend in for euthanasia and it's clear there's a tussle going on inside you so I'm worried I may only make things worse with the advice I'm about to offer but I'm taking a gamble on it being helpful.......

So... Have you asked your vetinarian if the surgery suggested would improve your cats quality of life fllowing the recovery phase? It's a definitive question because if the answer is yes then the surgery is worth doing. If the answer is no or low chance of success and/or potentially making quality of life worse then you can go through with the euthanasia with the clearest of concience. These would be the questions I ask myself in this situation and are general practice amongst ventinarians in these situations so you may have already had this talk with your vet.

My cat came home one day with a hug hole in her side and I had to take her in for surgery. It was harrowing for me as I felt so sorry for her and was sad at the thought that she didn't know that all this going on was for her benefit. In her eyes she was just terrified and things were being made worse by me taking her to a stranger and walking away. However, when I picked her up, all cleaned and stitched up it was clear she was happy to be home. She was very woozy and struggled for the first couple of days which was sad to witness but as soon as her cone came off and she was abke to eat properly she was back to her old self and I was so happy to have taken her in. I mention this because of what you said about what recovery would look like. Obviously the extent of recovery would be dependant on the type of surgery needed but cats are very resilient animals and if your vet can tell you the surgery has a good likelihood of sucess and improving your cats life I say go for it. Though it is of course, not cheap it is money I would spend over and over. If you have insurance then you probably don't need to a factor the cost in so much obviously.

II see you mentioned not wanting to put her through the stress of carrier rides, poking and proding etc. I so know how you feel. It's always an ordeal for my cat too. I'm just wondering if you can have a conversation with your vet about the research you did and the possibility of your diagnosis being correct and treatable. You can do all this over the phone so no added stress to your little buddy. I've found my vets very willing and helpful to discuss matters over the phone. They're usually a lot more helpful than human doctors in my experience. They certainly have better bedside manner and tact. I really do feel for you and your situation and I think your vets could offer something to at least relieve your cata suffering for a while and allow you to have some more time together in good conscience. It might give you a bit of breathing room to discuss and decide on possible surgical procedures. I'm hopeful for you both.

Whatever happens, I hope things can go as amicably as possible for both of you. Your cat clear teusts you id she lets you put you finger in her mouth and relieve her symptoms briefly. When a cat is vulnerable they are more inclined to sherk away from anyone, even their trusted owners so you must have a good relationship. I'm sorry if it has to come to an end. It's an inevitability for all of use with pets but as you so rightly pointed out, you always assume you can prepare yourself for it until the time actually arrives.

My heart goes out to you both!
One last thing...... if euthanasia is the only option after all things are considered you can at least be certain that you're giving your cat the most peaceful way out available and in that respect they are treated to a better end than most humans. Hopefully you will take solace from this fact.

 

[DanWhoLikesPie]

It's shameful that we treat animals more humanely than human beings.

So sorry for your loss. Cats truly are the gentlest and most empathetic of pets, and it hurts to see them go. Wishing her peace on her journey!

 

[lofticries]

I had to put down my cat because of a tumor. He was 15 years old. Although the pain of his death has dulled I still get a bit teary eyed thinking about him. He was pretty much the only friend I've ever had in my life and got me through a lot of upsets.

I'm sorry you're going through a bit of the same thing. Just know that your cat is getting a better deal than most sick humans get. She'll fall into a deep sleep while being watched over by a medical professional and someone who cared for her.

 

[E_Berwick]

I know what you are going through from a canine perspective. I've seen 5 of my precious pups die since 1996 and it never gets any easier. Our fur babies become our constant companions, our reason to live, and it is absolutely heartbreaking when their time comes and they have to leave us behind to carry on without them when we put them to sleep. And that is what it is, for them or for us when our time comes. We just "go to sleep" and never wake up, sinking into an eternal blissful sleep without even knowing that we have. They, nor we, will have any awareness of oblivion. I know, because I survived 15 grams of N because I was found too soon. Long story (see my first post for details if you want). What I can tell you is that I simply fell asleep and was not aware of anything anymore until I awoke some 12 or 13 days later. Saw nothing, hear nothing, felt nothing, thought nothing, no dreams, no fear, not even darkness. I suspect that was what happened to my dogs when they passed. They do not know they are dead and don't know they were ever alive. To quote Epicurus by way of Lucretius, "Death is nothing to us".

The hard part is that it is up to you to decide what you want to do. If your beautiful cat is still in reasonably good health, alert and vital organs are still ok, enjoy the precious time you still have together. Consult with your vet to see what, if any, course of action you can take for her other issues and make a decision based on that. Have whatever surgery is needed, or just keep her a while longer if possible, or put her to sleep. Those are your 3 options and only you can decide. I suppose your only solace is that if you need to put her to sleep and you want to go when she does, you said you have what you need and you can go together.

That is my plan now that my mother is soon to pass. No idea when, she's in a long-term care facility, just came back from a visit today and she can barely speak and could not tell me if she recognizes me (she has Alzheimer's). I told her that I don't have a future without her and when she goes I go. I wanted to go 3 years ago and almost did because I wanted to avoid precisely what I am going through now, seeing my beloved mother wasting away. We had made a pact years ago to go when the other goes but her loss of memory made that impossible when I almost went. But now I have what I need and lessons learned from the first time so my second exit attempt should be successful.

I wish you luck and love during this difficult time, it is never easy. Grief is the price we pay for love.

I wish you and your beloved cat peace.

Thank you so much for your kind words. Would you please share a link to your first post that you mentioned? My account is unable to view other people's profiles.

The appointment is scheduled for 6:30-7:30pm CT this evening, and I am dreading every minute of the arrival. My cat has become uncharacteristically growly with me if I love up on her too much, so I'm sparing and careful with her. Despite her otherwise good health, my moral compass says this is the right thing to do even if it eats me alive on the insides.

I just can't believe this day has finally come.

A content creator I follow has said the following before (paraphrasing):
"There are only two guarantees in this life: Suffering and death. We are not guaranteed food, water, shelter, or even love. But those two, namely death, is the only guarantee we have."

I hope that you and your mother also get the peace you deserve. There is something about going when someone you love goes, kind of poetic.

I've taken your kinds words to heart; life can be so very cruel and the only way out is self-deliverance for some of us.

I feel for you. I love my cat dearly and she's a big factor in my choices surrounding timing of ctb.


I know you're booking your little friend in for euthanasia and it's clear there's a tussle going on inside you so I'm worried I may only make things worse with the advice I'm about to offer but I'm taking a gamble on it being helpful.......

So... Have you asked your vetinarian if the surgery suggested would improve your cats quality of life fllowing the recovery phase? It's a definitive question because if the answer is yes then the surgery is worth doing. If the answer is no or low chance of success and/or potentially making quality of life worse then you can go through with the euthanasia with the clearest of concience. These would be the questions I ask myself in this situation and are general practice amongst ventinarians in these situations so you may have already had this talk with your vet.

My cat came home one day with a hug hole in her side and I had to take her in for surgery. It was harrowing for me as I felt so sorry for her and was sad at the thought that she didn't know that all this going on was for her benefit. In her eyes she was just terrified and things were being made worse by me taking her to a stranger and walking away. However, when I picked her up, all cleaned and stitched up it was clear she was happy to be home. She was very woozy and struggled for the first couple of days which was sad to witness but as soon as her cone came off and she was abke to eat properly she was back to her old self and I was so happy to have taken her in. I mention this because of what you said about what recovery would look like. Obviously the extent of recovery would be dependant on the type of surgery needed but cats are very resilient animals and if your vet can tell you the surgery has a good likelihood of sucess and improving your cats life I say go for it. Though it is of course, not cheap it is money I would spend over and over. If you have insurance then you probably don't need to a factor the cost in so much obviously.

II see you mentioned not wanting to put her through the stress of carrier rides, poking and proding etc. I so know how you feel. It's always an ordeal for my cat too. I'm just wondering if you can have a conversation with your vet about the research you did and the possibility of your diagnosis being correct and treatable. You can do all this over the phone so no added stress to your little buddy. I've found my vets very willing and helpful to discuss matters over the phone. They're usually a lot more helpful than human doctors in my experience. They certainly have better bedside manner and tact. I really do feel for you and your situation and I think your vets could offer something to at least relieve your cata suffering for a while and allow you to have some more time together in good conscience. It might give you a bit of breathing room to discuss and decide on possible surgical procedures. I'm hopeful for you both.

Whatever happens, I hope things can go as amicably as possible for both of you. Your cat clear teusts you id she lets you put you finger in her mouth and relieve her symptoms briefly. When a cat is vulnerable they are more inclined to sherk away from anyone, even their trusted owners so you must have a good relationship. I'm sorry if it has to come to an end. It's an inevitability for all of use with pets but as you so rightly pointed out, you always assume you can prepare yourself for it until the time actually arrives.

My heart goes out to you both!
One last thing...... if euthanasia is the only option after all things are considered you can at least be certain that you're giving your cat the most peaceful way out available and in that respect they are treated to a better end than most humans. Hopefully you will take solace from this fact.

Thank you, I appreciate your perspective on this.

I did speak with my primary vet today and we had a conversation regarding furthering treatment or continuing with her end-of-life appointment tonight. My cat's condition is, I think, bad enough that it has significantly prevented her from eating which is the biggest concern. I just keep thinking of all the added stress if we opted-out at this point, including my own lack of sleep and eating. And cats can't really continue long without food, or so I've read. Messes with their liver.

My cat has a questionable spot near her lungs on x-ray, requires a dental cleaning and a few extractions, and a small but slowly growing mass on her right shoulder. So I think even if we were to get through this first hurdle, we have several more to jump over. So there's few more things to consider.

My vet's office is currently closed, so I can't ask the specific question you had in mind, which is a good question and I kick myself for not asking it. But she was willing to refer me to an ER if I changed my mind. So...quandry. And the clock ticks closer to our appointment. Perhaps I could ask the administering vet tonight when she arrives. Or cancel. I don't know. I'm so lost and all over the place with my thoughts. Second-guessing and such.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

@E_Berwick My heart goes out to you both,l'll be where you are in the next year with my Doggy, l hope this helps you both.

 

[just_wanna_die]

Thank you so much for your kind words. Would you please share a link to your first post that you mentioned? My account is unable to view other people's profiles.

You're welcome. Here is the link you requested. I hope this helps. If not, let me know.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/how-lethal-is-nembutal.72620/#post-1319369

 

[Crazy4u]

I wish I can comfort you but I can't :(. Pets dying subject is very hard for me.
pets are the best thing in the entire world. You must be a great pet owner for taking care of the cat for 17 years

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I'm so sorry.

I understand what you're going through, several years ago I lost my cat. I'd had her for over half my life at the time and she was about 17-20yo.

She suddenly had a stroke in the middle of the night; she was limp and screaming. We have no 24H vets in my area, so my only option was to kill her myself. I quickly suffocated her to end her pain. I did the right thing, but it still haunts me.

 

[Insomniac]

Hi all,

I figured one year after creating my account here I'd finally drop in and say hello, but also wanted to reach out to a community I know will understand me, given my time here. And I need a place to get this all out instead of bottling it all up.

My cat, which I adopted 17 years ago almost exactly to the date, has had a variety of issues crop up since late October of this year, all starting with a bloody sneeze. This went away after a couple of days but additional symptoms gave rise and persisted, while others went away over the next couple of months.

Over the last 7-10 days, she has been having increasing breathing difficulties, which is affecting her sleep, eating, and happiness. I can help her with it if I insert a finger between her teeth, then her mouth opens-up and she takes a big inhale and seems relieved. But obviously not a solution.

Based on the insane amount of digging I had to do online, she has what I assume is 'nasopharyngeal stenosis' (snorting/snoring sound while awake, slurping noises present when using her tongue), but I am not very willing to have her back in for more carrier-rides, tests, pokes, technician handling, and stress.

The shitty part is that she is in otherwise great health for her age; she gets around very well and is alert, her vital organs are okay, her blood-work is great, kidneys are still doing mostly okay, and urinalysis came back unremarkable. But she has other conditions and issues as well, and to treat the immediate issue would probably require an ER visit with surgery and recovery. And what would that look like, with recovery?

I've always been able to help her through anything. I would love to come to a definitive diagnosis to have an answer, but it wouldn't be fair to her. Do I 'wait and see' if this somehow passes? I'm guessing it won't, given that things have escalated as they have, without getting any better.

I am questioning myself whether I'm strong enough for this or not. And at what point does trying to continue treatment become ridiculous? And then to what end? To delay the inevitable? I feel like it would be kicking the can down the road.

I knew this day was coming, I've dreaded it since she was 8 years old when I first began thinking about what it will be like to let her go. Back then I was cocky about it, like, I knew it would be a big deal for sure, but not so bad if you're well-prepared for it. Well that was 9 years ago during which time she and I developed a very strong bond; she's my 'ride or die'. Many so-called 'friends' have come and gone, relationships born and died, family members became distant and estranged. But she is my rock, my only constant in life. The one thing that's always there for me, waiting for me to come home, who doesn't ask for much.

I am absolutely terrified of having to go through this, I've never lost anything this close to me, ever. Worse yet is I live alone - she is all I have. She is the reason I get up every day.

I have a history of suicidal ideation, but last year I became quite serious about it which why I created this account. My method is determined and I have the supplies on hand. I promised my cat that I wouldn't leave this place without first seeing her to the other side. No way would I ever leave her like that.

I keep trying to remind myself that I'm doing the most compassionate and selfless thing, but it's hard. Especially when I keep second-guessing further treatment options. I think that's the bargaining and denial phase of grief. I find myself wondering if I should call to reschedule for tomorrow instead, to give us another day together? But then that's another day of her suffering...

I cannot envision a future without my little girl. She and I always have each other during the holidays, but this was absolutely the worst Christmas I've ever spent. NYE is going to be even worse. I feel like my chances of suicide will be a foregone conclusion after this. I am utterly broken right now and don't know what to do.

Pic attached from last year...

heart breaking pic
are her eyes closed on it?

 

[E_Berwick]

heart breaking pic
are her eyes closed on it?

That picture was from last year when she was feeling a lot better. I just caught her sleeping is all.

 

[rationalis]

That's how sleeping animals look. I find it very hard not to sleep next to them. Major distraction.

 

[E_Berwick]

Update...

It is done.

I had a really good conversation with the attending vet this evening. She helped guide me to what I feel is the right choice. Honestly, I thought I would be a much bigger mess than I am right now, but I'm taking it better than I thought. I'm sure when I wake up tomorrow morning it'll be a different story.

I'm going to maybe go for a drive or walk and ease my mind for a bit, step away from things. I plan to be back later.

Though I haven't responded to everyone, I want to let you know that your kind words mean a whole lot to me. So thank you all for lending an ear and for being here.

 

[gr1lledcheese]

Hi all,

I figured one year after creating my account here I'd finally drop in and say hello, but also wanted to reach out to a community I know will understand me, given my time here. And I need a place to get this all out instead of bottling it all up.

My cat, which I adopted 17 years ago almost exactly to the date, has had a variety of issues crop up since late October of this year, all starting with a bloody sneeze. This went away after a couple of days but additional symptoms gave rise and persisted, while others went away over the next couple of months.

Over the last 7-10 days, she has been having increasing breathing difficulties, which is affecting her sleep, eating, and happiness. I can help her with it if I insert a finger between her teeth, then her mouth opens-up and she takes a big inhale and seems relieved. But obviously not a solution.

Based on the insane amount of digging I had to do online, she has what I assume is 'nasopharyngeal stenosis' (snorting/snoring sound while awake, slurping noises present when using her tongue), but I am not very willing to have her back in for more carrier-rides, tests, pokes, technician handling, and stress.

The shitty part is that she is in otherwise great health for her age; she gets around very well and is alert, her vital organs are okay, her blood-work is great, kidneys are still doing mostly okay, and urinalysis came back unremarkable. But she has other conditions and issues as well, and to treat the immediate issue would probably require an ER visit with surgery and recovery. And what would that look like, with recovery?

I've always been able to help her through anything. I would love to come to a definitive diagnosis to have an answer, but it wouldn't be fair to her. Do I 'wait and see' if this somehow passes? I'm guessing it won't, given that things have escalated as they have, without getting any better.

I am questioning myself whether I'm strong enough for this or not. And at what point does trying to continue treatment become ridiculous? And then to what end? To delay the inevitable? I feel like it would be kicking the can down the road.

I knew this day was coming, I've dreaded it since she was 8 years old when I first began thinking about what it will be like to let her go. Back then I was cocky about it, like, I knew it would be a big deal for sure, but not so bad if you're well-prepared for it. Well that was 9 years ago during which time she and I developed a very strong bond; she's my 'ride or die'. Many so-called 'friends' have come and gone, relationships born and died, family members became distant and estranged. But she is my rock, my only constant in life. The one thing that's always there for me, waiting for me to come home, who doesn't ask for much.

I am absolutely terrified of having to go through this, I've never lost anything this close to me, ever. Worse yet is I live alone - she is all I have. She is the reason I get up every day.

I have a history of suicidal ideation, but last year I became quite serious about it which why I created this account. My method is determined and I have the supplies on hand. I promised my cat that I wouldn't leave this place without first seeing her to the other side. No way would I ever leave her like that.

I keep trying to remind myself that I'm doing the most compassionate and selfless thing, but it's hard. Especially when I keep second-guessing further treatment options. I think that's the bargaining and denial phase of grief. I find myself wondering if I should call to reschedule for tomorrow instead, to give us another day together? But then that's another day of her suffering...

I cannot envision a future without my little girl. She and I always have each other during the holidays, but this was absolutely the worst Christmas I've ever spent. NYE is going to be even worse. I feel like my chances of suicide will be a foregone conclusion after this. I am utterly broken right now and don't know what to do.

Pic attached from last year...

That's horrible. I'm so sorry. It sounds like you'll be with her at the end and that's a wonderful thing to do for a pet. They shouldn't die alone.

 

[just_wanna_die]

Update...

It is done.

I had a really good conversation with the attending vet this evening. She helped guide me to what I feel is the right choice. Honestly, I thought I would be a much bigger mess than I am right now, but I'm taking it better than I thought. I'm sure when I wake up tomorrow morning it'll be a different story.

I'm going to maybe go for a drive or walk and ease my mind for a bit, step away from things. I plan to be back later.

Though I haven't responded to everyone, I want to let you know that your kind words mean a whole lot to me. So thank you all for lending an ear and for being here.

My condolences for the loss of your sweet cat. 17 years is a long time and you've undoubtedly made countless memories together, which may be bittersweet now and cause heartache and tears. I empathize, I know it did me when I had to say goodbye to my dogs one by one over the years...still does actually and always will. Whatever you choose to do now, to plan your exit or not, or perhaps eventually start a new era by finding another kitten (or 2?) who needs someone as special as you to love her or him for the next 17 years, it is up to you. To your cherished cat, may she rest in peace. To you, I wish you tranquil thoughts as you grieve this heartwrenching loss.

 

[gr1lledcheese]

I'm so sorry. it's always hard to say goodbye.

 

[E_Berwick]

I wish I can comfort you but I can't :(. Pets dying subject is very hard for me.
pets are the best thing in the entire world. You must be a great pet owner for taking care of the cat for 17 years

Thank you for that, and no worries. Your presence here is more than enough. I've gotten a lot of that over the years, people saying I must be a good cat dad. I did what I could and then some. I work hard in life so that I could spoil her like I did. I will miss her eternally.

 

[whywere]

I am so, so sorry for your kitty's health. I had an all-white kitten when i was growing up that got into rat poison and died, and it was one of the most difficult situations that I have ever gone through, and this was in 1966.

My heart breaks into millions of pieces when I saw the picture of your kitty. She is so beautiful and looks like a very sweet kitty.

I send you lots of huge hugs for you and your kitty, all the empathy in the world and the knowledge that you are not a lone going through all of this.

Peace and love be with you during this trying time, and I am here if you want too pm me.

All my best to you and prayers for your kitty.

Walter

 

[blueclover_.]

I know what you are going through from a canine perspective. I've seen 5 of my precious pups die since 1996 and it never gets any easier. Our fur babies become our constant companions, our reason to live, and it is absolutely heartbreaking when their time comes and they have to leave us behind to carry on without them when we put them to sleep. And that is what it is, for them or for us when our time comes. We just "go to sleep" and never wake up, sinking into an eternal blissful sleep without even knowing that we have. They, nor we, will have any awareness of oblivion. I know, because I survived 15 grams of N because I was found too soon. Long story (see my first post for details if you want). What I can tell you is that I simply fell asleep and was not aware of anything anymore until I awoke some 12 or 13 days later. Saw nothing, hear nothing, felt nothing, thought nothing, no dreams, no fear, not even darkness. I suspect that was what happened to my dogs when they passed. They do not know they are dead and don't know they were ever alive. To quote Epicurus by way of Lucretius, "Death is nothing to us".

The hard part is that it is up to you to decide what you want to do. If your beautiful cat is still in reasonably good health, alert and vital organs are still ok, enjoy the precious time you still have together. Consult with your vet to see what, if any, course of action you can take for her other issues and make a decision based on that. Have whatever surgery is needed, or just keep her a while longer if possible, or put her to sleep. Those are your 3 options and only you can decide. I suppose your only solace is that if you need to put her to sleep and you want to go when she does, you said you have what you need and you can go together.

That is my plan now that my mother is soon to pass. No idea when, she's in a long-term care facility, just came back from a visit today and she can barely speak and could not tell me if she recognizes me (she has Alzheimer's). I told her that I don't have a future without her and when she goes I go. I wanted to go 3 years ago and almost did because I wanted to avoid precisely what I am going through now, seeing my beloved mother wasting away. We had made a pact years ago to go when the other goes but her loss of memory made that impossible when I almost went. But now I have what I need and lessons learned from the first time so my second exit attempt should be successful.

I wish you luck and love during this difficult time, it is never easy. Grief is the price we pay for love.

I wish you and your beloved cat peace.

Beautifully put. I'm certain now that there's absolutely nothing after death.