My absolutely beautiful boy of a cat died this morning ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡ i cried all day, listening to songs and looking at his pics made me cry. He was sick, but i brought him to the doctors already and gave him meds and all, and it seems like he's improving, so idk why he died. People tell me that a sign that a cat is sick is if it doesn't want to eat, which makes me even more confused bc before he died he was eating well. He ate, he took walks, and he even caught a mouse last month. I really didn't think he'd die like this. However, he's spent the last 2 days in this house (before i took him to the vets and put him at a friend's house, bc they're more used to take care of cats and they have a cage there, while i don't) sleeping under the bed when he's not out, so that might be a sign.
Thinking back, he's kind of like me, bc we both go on our lives normally and then he dropped dead without any visible signs. Difference is that I'm still alive. I'm actually disappointed that it's September already and I'm still alive. I don't want to. I'm tired. I'm scared to die and I'm never alone in the house. There are so many excuses. Once i let go of any responsibilities and readied myself to die, it just makes me remember how fun life is when you don't have shit to do. Of course, normally you should just not die and do whatever you have to do. But I've been in this stalemate for 2 years now. I just want to get it over already.
I'm the kind of person who oveshares anything so i keep wanting to tell people smth like "hey, I'm planning to die next week, got any last words?" just to start a conversation. Of course, i didn't, bc i don't want to be stopped. I don't know what i want anymore. I just want to be happy.
Thinking back, he's kind of like me, bc we both go on our lives normally and then he dropped dead without any visible signs. Difference is that I'm still alive. I'm actually disappointed that it's September already and I'm still alive. I don't want to. I'm tired. I'm scared to die and I'm never alone in the house. There are so many excuses. Once i let go of any responsibilities and readied myself to die, it just makes me remember how fun life is when you don't have shit to do. Of course, normally you should just not die and do whatever you have to do. But I've been in this stalemate for 2 years now. I just want to get it over already.
I'm the kind of person who oveshares anything so i keep wanting to tell people smth like "hey, I'm planning to die next week, got any last words?" just to start a conversation. Of course, i didn't, bc i don't want to be stopped. I don't know what i want anymore. I just want to be happy.
