Venting My best friend doesn't care about me

[Tionally]

Recently we have been talking and we started a discussion about his attachment issues. He said that he doesn't really get attached to people and he doesn't care when he stops having contact with them. When I asked if he feels any connection with me he said that he feels some but not as much as with our other friend. I asked him if me disappearing would make him sad. He answered that it probably wouldn't. I don't feel many things but this kind of hurt. We're seeing each other almost every day and I hoped that he at least somewhat cared about me. I know that it isn't his fault and I'm not blaming him but now I just feel like my existence is even more pointless. He's one of the most important people in my life and I don't matter even to him. If I have no impact on his life then I probably have even smaller role in other people's lifes. I'm probably not better cause I don't care about most people.

 

[fruitvampire]

Some people don't care about others. Not even in a malicious way, they simply don't have the ability.

 

[DeathMarch66]

Some people don't care about others. Not even in a malicious way, they simply don't have the ability.

I agree with this completely. Unfortunately I have found myself in the apathetic position many times throughout my life. After taking a deep look in the mirror I developed a philosophy based on my experiences and observations for people such as me and your friend that I recently posted. It's a cycle of hate that's greater than all of us. I'm sorry you're going through this, you deserve better, we all do including him. Im sorry, safe travels friend.

 

[nopointinlife]

Best friends are nothing more than assholes who will make you regret the time you wasted on them. The people who hurt me the most in my life were my so-called best friends. Fuck them, and I hope they too are SS members.

 

[Angel of Spades]

Honestly, I understand where you're coming from. I know many people have different ways of feeling and expressing emotions, but that would hurt me to hear, too. He doesn't sound like he would be the type of friend to stay around very long. Unfortunately, I've lived through that maybe 3 times now, at the very least. It always hurt, no matter how much I tried to anticipate it. Then again, I'm a person who's built with attachment issues included, so I tend to experience being left behind on a more visceral level. No matter what, it sucks for everyone who has to go through it.

I believe that there's someone or something that everyone cares deeply about. We're built to be social in general, but a lot of us are wronged by other people or situations or societies, and that removes the motivation to care. I do think that might be your friend's case, but I still don't like the situation. I know that we all have our own struggles, and can't necessarily always be thinking out for everybody else, but it's a tragic vicious cycle that I wish could end somewhere.

I cannot and would not tell you to leave your friend behind, but I do think that he doesn't necessarily sound like the best of friends. I'm hoping that maybe better people will step into your life and extend a hand in friendship. It really does feel terrible when the people we trust the most tell us that we really don't mean anything to them at all. I just hope that one day you'll have someone in your life who cares about and values you as much as you do them.

(That said, if you ever would like someone to talk to about this, you can feel free to message me. I can't promise I'll be able to respond immediately, since I'm not on very much, but I'll get to it as soon as I can. I know it's not much, but I'd like to offer some support at least.)

 

[AshClouds]

Doesn't sound like a true friend, my friend

 

[Ambivalent1]

Sounds like a sociopath

 

[FuneralCry]

I just believe that after all other people cannot be relied on, I think that many people are just too self centred to ever care, people like that don't really sound like friends to me.

 

[Tionally]

He doesn't sound like he would be the type of friend to stay around very long.

We've actually known each other for like 12 years and we've been friends through most of that so he did stay around for a long time but it makes it even worse that even after all this time I barely matter to him

 

[CC123]

you know now
no one needs "friends" like this
you can move on guilt free

 

[suicidaleeyore]

I don't think my best friend cares about me either. It hurts. We were best friends as teenagers. Hung out everyday. When her dad took his life I was there when the police were comforting her. We went through a lot together. But the past few years she hardly ever talks to me or interacts with me. But I'm sure when I ctb she'll be at my funeral pretending we were so close etc when I'm reality she didn't even say a word when I was in icu from attempting to end my life etc. I will always love her though.

 

[Angel of Spades]

We've actually known each other for like 12 years and we've been friends through most of that so he did stay around for a long time but it makes it even worse that even after all this time I barely matter to him

I'm sorry. That just sounds horrible, honestly. 12 years is such a long time, and he just... sometimes I don't understand why people say what they say, with complete disregard for everyone they're supposed to care about.