Story my attempt to CTB

[yohan]

Fucking hell man. I have to write this down and get it off of my chest. I don't exactly now how to start but around a week ago, I found myself passing about my room at around 2AM? I was experiencing a wave of intrusive thoughts and to put it simply I found an old and dull carving knife, went over to my bed and texted my friend to see if he was awake but he was not. Soon after, I received a text from a different person but I replied asking to talk another time. I turned off my phone and picked up the knife, then I pressed it firmly to my neck. Everything felt like it was happening oddly fast. After holding the knife to my neck for some time I counted down from five and at one, I tightly shut my eyes but then just dropped the knife, and stared at it. Now I have the knife on my windowsill. Looking back, I have no idea if that would've even worked. I could've ended up injured and unsuccessful. This is said a lot, but I can't stand how survival instincts interfere so much! That is my story.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a horrific and risky method to me, but it's true that the survival instinct makes it so it can certainly be difficult to leave this world. But at least you didn't end up with any damage from your attempt.

 

[Huntfish34]

Damnnt Fck, glad you didn't try..... Especially with a dull knife. ( even with a sharp one you could have still survived and be in a much worse situation)

Thanks for sharing this, thoughts and prayers with you always. -