Venting my 6 year relationship ended today.

[maybe_rabies]

We were together since we were 19 and were each others' first "real" relationship. Now we are 25 and our lives are going in different directions. I knew for a while that this would happen because things had been bad for a long time. But we went through so much together and I used to think he was the one good and stable thing in my life.

He doesn't know how suicidal I am. I was hiding my feelings from him for a long time. My dad has cancer and lives across the country from me, and his chemo isn't going well. I'm trying to be strong because I don't want to hurt my family. People regularly tell me how strong and resilient I am because despite all this, I still get up and work so fucking hard every day.

I'm tired of working hard, and I'm tired of being emotionally strong. I don't think I can ever love another person. Nothing matters to me anymore.

 

[Uncounted1846]

Thanks for opening up. I'm so sorry to hear about your relationship ending on top of your dad's chemo not taking. It all sounds like it's piling up on you. Life is a cruel fiend, isn't it?