Discussion Mum just texted me that we/I might be homeless in December

[ericwilkinson]

I began a course in journalism today but my mom called me abroad from Africa and said that she's starting to have fights with my Dad again. The last time this happened, we left for two years.

The problem is that I'm now 21 and never worked. I'll almost certainly be homeless as I'm legally an adult. Even she although cares about me is getting tired with me. Don't really know whether to focus on this course, focus on suicide, or focus on a job.

But fuck it, I've now gotten serious about my suicide. Two methods are, methanol/ethylene glycol (antifreeze) or potassium cyanide. I know the latter is really damn painful and quite expensive from what I see (€16 I saw on the dark web) but I have to stop being passive about catching the bus.

I've taken methanol before with no injuries to my kidneys so I don't know if that's gonna work but I will definitely stockpile up on windshield washer fluid and coolant.

 

[Futility]

Is there no government assistance that you can take advantage of?
Where I'm at, if I type "help paying bills" I'll get a bunch of information about services available that will give temporary relief in unpredicted times of hardship.
It'll help pay rent, phone, utilities etc, until you've got a steady income again.
There's even a spot that exists solely to help people who have no work experience or disabilities, to find something that they can handle.

Sorry about your situation though, life can be such a mess, there's so many people on here that I wish I could build a big house for and all be together and not worry about anything anymore, I guess that's a silly thought, I don't even know how, or have the resources to build a house anyway.

Lots of hugs!

 

[Jean Améry]

That is incredibly bad news. Sorry to hear you're in such a rotten situation.

There's nothing that says that you can't focus on all three. Try to get a job asap (any job aslong it pays), try to make an effort for the course you're taking and prepare for CTB.

That way you'll have covered all your bases: if no job is forthcoming and nothing else comes your way (inquiring about benefits like Futility suggested is a good idea) you can still CTB as a last resort.

I hope you'll be able to make it financially. It's unfair beyond words that people have to die for financial reasons. Especially given the huge riches owned by the happy few.

 

[ericwilkinson]

Is there no government assistance that you can take advantage of?
Where I'm at, if I type "help paying bills" I'll get a bunch of information about services available that will give temporary relief in unpredicted times of hardship.
It'll help pay rent, phone, utilities etc, until you've got a steady income again.
There's even a spot that exists solely to help people who have no work experience or disabilities, to find something that they can handle.

Sorry about your situation though, life can be such a mess, there's so many people on here that I wish I could build a big house for and all be together and not worry about anything anymore, I guess that's a silly thought, I don't even know how, or have the resources to build a house anyway.

Lots of hugs!

Not really, I live in Ireland. There are LOADS of homeless people sleeping rough. and I've heard that it takes a long time to get council housing. About 10,000 people in Emergency accomodation and about 200 people on any day in Dublin sleeping rough, in tents.

The emergency accomodation I've heard is actually really unsafe tbh. It's sounds insane but apparently, some homeless people take their chances sleeping rough in the rain/cold than in shelters due to theft, gangs preying on vulnerable people.

My first hope is getting the €16 for cyanide as my safety net. Then I can look for my job. That HAS to come first. No way I'm ever going to even think of getting kicked out with no where to go. Suicide is my first option.