Story Moving out of a place feels traumatizing

[ferret-in-a-sock]

This is hitting me really hard, like really hard, but I finally moved out of my first apartment, a place I thought I'd CTB in then sooner leave, even if I wasn't happy there. I lived there 5 years, longer then anywhere I'd lived since 10.

I did not imagine how hard it would hit me until my usual hallucination/delusions went from."this is typical anxiety distortion" to "I hear voices now, wait, there's no one there?" I've not been able to sleep for 3 days straight. I have 6 days of no apartment to deal with, and like a good therapy-trained individual I coped ahead, planned a vacation/living arrangements, but...I'm mentally so...compromised.

It hit me how much safety I had worked to establish there and even though I never fully did feel 100% safe (never unpacked everything), the feeling of loss is so immense. It was an extremely stable environment I learned all the adult/life skills I hadn't had a chance to with how I grew up.

I feel so upended and turned around. It's made me feel cut open. I keep waiting for a truck to hit me, for that momentary daze when you're hit by a car before pain sets in.

 

[timf]

Many people do not recognize how much our environment contributes to our sense of stability. In a new apartment it can help to recreate the location of familiar things relative to each other. For example, if you had a clock radio on the left side of your bed, keeping it this way can contribute a sense of familiarity.

It usually takes a month or two to somewhat acclimatize to a new environment.