Venting Mix of story and ranting...what makes you lose hope?

[reignerreigns]

Destiny cripples people in a variety of ways, for me its doing began in my childhood. Every once in while i zone out thinking about how that toddler's fate had already been sealed, how my time was set along with so many niuances hinting and dictating that path even before my birth, yet i was "saved" to live a poorly so ever called "life" wishing that bounding track succeeded. To this day and age, leftover marks remain to the likes of humdrum laughstock body parts...
How paradoxical is it that in this awry society tolerance is fostered but when it comes down to it its gist is forgotten.To me its so saddening to think people cant see through your hardships and even the slightest sense of complain towards their offhand remarks makes you the one to blame, but hey "grin and bear it", "keep on keeping on", "no pain, no gain" right?. I despise these life etiquettes on account of struggles not bearing any fruit making your thrives seem worthless. My way of life was also sentenced by my bloodline, patterns repeating themselves amongst family members coexisting for generations on end.
I wasnt supposed to literally be back of my feet.
Nevermind, my vision and end goal have shifted, i'll make ends meet in due time, hoping this'll bring a new light to the word suicide and at the very least break this chain of commad so painfully engraved to my blood, those like me deemed "shunned, weak"

 

[Holu]

Destiny cripples people in a variety of ways, for me its doing began in my childhood. Every once in while i zone out thinking about how that toddler's fate had already been sealed, how my time was set along with so many niuances hinting and dictating that path even before my birth, yet i was "saved" to live a poorly so ever called "life" wishing that bounding track succeeded. To this day and age, leftover marks remain to the likes of humdrum laughstock body parts...
How paradoxical is it that in this awry society tolerance is fostered but when it comes down to it its gist is forgotten.To me its so saddening to think people cant see through your hardships and even the slightest sense of complain towards their offhand remarks makes you the one to blame, but hey "grin and bear it", "keep on keeping on", "no pain, no gain" right?. I despise these life etiquettes on account of struggles not bearing any fruit making your thrives seem worthless. My way of life was also sentenced by my bloodline, patterns repeating themselves amongst family members coexisting for generations on end.
I wasnt supposed to literally be back of my feet.
Nevermind, my vision and end goal have shifted, i'll make ends meet in due time, hoping this'll bring a new light to the word suicide and at the very least break this chain of commad so painfully engraved to my blood, those like me deemed "shunned, weak"

Personally I have always hated the idea of "when life knocks you down get back up". Me personally I abide by the notion of "when life knocks you down let it kick you repeatedly until somehow you end up on two feet"

I was born fucked. There are literally videos of me as an infant SH. I was a 3 day delayed birth since my dumbass actively fought against being born. I've been a tricho all my life, was in therapy at 6, and depressed and BP as far as I can remember.

Still, everyone's pain and suffering is different. Regardless of genes, environment, or trauma we all ended up here. I find it interesting that despite these different stories, nearly everyone shares the same nihilistic ideologies.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm sorry for what the world has put you through, and what you're going through. Both I and everyone else are here if you need to talk.

 

[unnormal9]

A faux sense of reality beneath the guise of a dream.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly hate how in this world existence is viewed as an obligation rather than a personal choice, nobody should have to continue existing just because other people want to, to me it's insensitive to invalidate people's feelings with toxic positivity. But to me hope is just a delusion to be taken away and lead to more suffering, existing is something that certainly is completely hopeless and could never be worth enduring to me.

 

[TAW122]

What makes me lose hope? I would say the constant proof of how shitty the world is, how people (mostly normies and the masses) fail to see logic, or if they do, they choose to ignore it and still uphold the status quo while being close-minded, and constant evidence that things are going in the wrong way and no evidence of improvement. For me, on a personal level, it is due to objective circumstances that are NOT getting better and also that I am simply working towards avoiding a worse fate as being sentient and alive each passing day is always a gamble that someday it could get worse. Therefore, after having lost hope and eventually CTB, I can avoid the worst outcomes and not have to face a fate worse than today. Thus, the time after one is permanently gone from this world is just bliss and free of suffering, even at the cost of missing out (potential) future pleasure.

 

[reignerreigns]

Its just like TAW122 said, the potential positive outcome is a toss up but less likely to happen than worse outcomes...this just builds up rage, i only hope this rage leads me to actually commiting ctb...dang im so sicknedin this plane, just wanna put an end to it all

 

[nosoul]

For me its that I fried my brain, no pleasure or energy, no ability to sleep and I'm wasting away. I don't want to keep declining, and the dread of existence has gotten to me

 

[bloberta]

for me it's my body and being trans. i wish i could just be cis. i feel so disgusting and fake. i dont belong in this body. and then the constant transphobia and anti trans laws make it hard to have hope. i dont belong in this world.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

There is no hope for me. Never was. I was done the minute my assigned sex was determined.

At best I can try to cope and distract myself from it, but distractions don't even work anymore. It's like pain meds not working on a cancer patient anymore. Just not to that extreme.