Story Missed an opportunity...

[Exact Change]

I sat in my backyard looking up at the trees. I had my fire pit burning and my dog at my side. It was overcast and cool with a slight breeze. I looked at the trees and I thought what a perfect moment. It was so perfect that I wanted to kill myself. Because I knew that when i went back inside, my life would feel like s*** again. So I grabbed my gun and I sat on the patio for a half hour staring through the branches of the trees. All I can think about was that it would be a perfect time to leave. But I couldn't do it. I'm back out on this website feeling like a coward.

 

[carac]

Sometimes when you have those moments of pleasure that is the time when it's hardest to let go so I wouldn't go blaming yourself

 

[Lookoutbelow]

I know the feeling. I'm a jumper so SI has been a mother fucker. Even playing the jump in my mind creates so much stress. Then there are times when I feel so peaceful that I know this would be the time to do it. But it takes time to get to my spot. By then the peaceful feeling has passed. So here I still am.

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide just isn't straightforward after all so I wouldn't say that those who struggle to go through with it are cowardly, it's like the survival instinct exists just to prolong suffering, I really wish it's much easier to finally leave this existence.