Might attempt to CTB today

[AbandonedStudio]

I'm thinking about attempting to CTB today. I actually wanted to CTB in November, but it's a long wait until November and I can't hold on any longer. Everything I wanted to do before I CTB, has been done: I've tidied up my room, I've written my suicide letter and I had a good last moment with my friends. All that's keeping me from doing it, is knowing that I'll cause my mother so much pain. More than I can imagine. Although she accepted that I want to die, I simply don't want to hurt her. Hopefully, she'll find peace with my death soon enough.

My method of suicide is SN. I have 46 capsules filled with approximately 20g. Because I've chosen capsules, I won't be using an antiacid because it will slow down the process of the capsules dissolving in my stomach. I will be using domperidone as an antiemetic. Sadly, I couldn't do the 72-hour regimen as I promised to myself, but I'm taking a stat dose of 30mg an hour before I take the SN. I'll be updating this thread on how I'm feeling after I've taken the SN.

Lastly, I want to thank this wonderful website for all its loving and supporting people.
Farewell! (hopefully)

 

[AsexualBarbieBoy]

Sorry life brought you here. Hope today is at least a good day for you.

 

[Rachel74]

She will never find peace, maybe if you had a terminal illness and were in so much pain then she would. What is the reason you want to ctb?

 

[Sunset Limited]

I hope you can find peace my friend.

 

[BipolarExpat]

She will never find peace, maybe if you had a terminal illness and were in so much pain then she would.

That's a bit harsh, I think. Let's hope ALL of our mothers and loved ones find a way to see through the taboos, recognize our pains and accept our decisions thereby eventually giving themselves some amount of peace.

 

[hahabye]

Thank you for your post, will help me a lot! Gives me hope that it will not be difficult to achieve in the Netherlands.

I hope all goes well for you!

 

[okaoki]

i wish you safe travel , i believe you'll find peace.

 

[AbandonedStudio]

Update: I've taken 3*10mg domperidone. I'm taking the SN in an hour.

 

[Dutch]

Really sorry to hear that you feel like this, i know it's not easy to have patience till the planned date at all.
Wish you a safe journey, and hope you find the rest and peace you need.

 

[GlowingCactus]

I hope you find peace and thank you once again for when you took the time to help with some questions I had.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

I'm sorry to hear that. May you find peace.

 

[Jen0804]

Update: I've taken 3*10mg domperidone. I'm taking the SN in an hour.

My thoughts are with you my friend

 

[AbandonedStudio]

I've taken the SN a bit later than planned.

 

[Thanatos]

I've taken the SN a bit later than planned.

What delayed you? Also how are you feeling currently?

 

[AbandonedStudio]

What delayed you? Also how are you feeling currently?

A friend of mine called the police, but they only called to make sure everything's fine. At the moment I'm feeling a bit weak, but no headache or stomachache. The same friend is threatening to call the ambulance though

 

[cybertronian03111999]

A friend of mine called the police, but they only called to make sure everything's fine. At the moment I'm feeling a bit weak, but no headache or stomachache. The same friend is threatening to call the ambulance though

Guess this wasnt part of the plan :-/

 

[angie]

Update: I've taken 3*10mg domperidone. I'm taking the SN in an hour.

 

[okaoki]

hope things goes well

 

[Rachel74]

That's a bit harsh, I think. Let's hope ALL of our mothers and loved ones find a way to see through the taboos, recognize our pains and accept our decisions thereby eventually giving themselves some amount of peace.

I wasn't intending to sound harsh, just really going by my own experiences with my mother.

 

[BipolarExpat]

I wasn't intending to sound harsh, just really going by my own experiences with my mother.

Fair enough dear. I understand how easy it is to personalize others' wonderings.

 

[Rachel74]

Fair enough dear. I understand how easy it is to personalize others' wonderings.

I just remember my mother saying why do you want to kill your self as if my illness wasn't worthy of an escape. She's now longer with us, bless her

 

[BipolarExpat]

Bless her. May she rest in peace.

 

[Quitter]

I hope everything is going well for you.

 

[Painpleasure]

Be at peace, dear friend. We may have not met in person but we are united in collective suffering...

 

[DeathImminent]

farewell friend

 

[okaoki]

Goodbye

 

[Nem]

Hugs/peace

 

[Suicidal4Ever]

I'm thinking about attempting to CTB today. I actually wanted to CTB in November, but it's a long wait until November and I can't hold on any longer. Everything I wanted to do before I CTB, has been done: I've tidied up my room, I've written my suicide letter and I had a good last moment with my friends. All that's keeping me from doing it, is knowing that I'll cause my mother so much pain. More than I can imagine. Although she accepted that I want to die, I simply don't want to hurt her. Hopefully, she'll find peace with my death soon enough.

My method of suicide is SN. I have 46 capsules filled with approximately 20g. Because I've chosen capsules, I won't be using an antiacid because it will slow down the process of the capsules dissolving in my stomach. I will be using domperidone as an antiemetic. Sadly, I couldn't do the 72-hour regimen as I promised to myself, but I'm taking a stat dose of 30mg an hour before I take the SN. I'll be updating this thread on how I'm feeling after I've taken the SN.

Lastly, I want to thank this wonderful website for all its loving and supporting people.
Farewell! (hopefully)

46 capsules? Should've got 000 size capsules you only need 20 max.

 

[JimFord99]

Is she/he still with us? Did it work? Well over 24 hours since we headed of AbandonedStudio.

 

[Dutch]

Is she/he still with us? Did it work? Well over 24 hours since we headed of AbandonedStudio.

It's a she. But yes i wonder the same, hope she found the peace that she need.