Fallen bad23
Student
- Oct 19, 2018
- 105
I have considered different methods but they all seem to be unreliable, now my brain is stuck and I can't think of any good way to ctb so could you help me with that?
What have you considered and why have you deemed each unacceptable? Being stuck is rough, and I don't think anyone wants to suggest stuff you've already dismissed. You might feel more trapped. But also, maybe fears that what you've seen as "unreliable" might be eased?
Fallen bad23
Student
- Oct 19, 2018
- 105
My first method was paracetamol overdose and that is dismissed because I can be survive it. The second was jumping off a building but I fear heights a big time and there is a huge chance that I might fall on people therefore hurting them and I can never do that. I also do have access to high enough buildings. Then came drowning but I would have to travel to get to the sea and my anxiety would stop me from doing that since it has locked in my house for years now.
Dead_Inside
Wizard
- Jul 2, 2018
- 622
Any method you would like to consider can be amended with dissociatives (benzodiazepines) these will help you through the anxiety. No death is assured sadly. And I am sure tons of us can tell you how we failed but, honestly - it's worth the try. I am crushed that I failed .... but I wouldn't take it back, only change it. I shouldn't be here right now.
Maybe hanging or try a different OD combined with suffocation?
Maybe hanging or try a different OD combined with suffocation?
Fallen bad23
Student
- Oct 19, 2018
- 105
I'm sorry you feel that way and I really hope that you find peace. Unfortunately I'm a coward and I can't trust myself with violent methods. I'm really open to ingesting stuff because it might be missed by doctors after I die and my family might think that I just died and God is angry with me for not praying, that is why my corpse looks like that, other than I commited suicide. It would be great as I don't want them to be devestated by it.
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I'm really sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but...
Having just had way too close a brush with a sheriff's deputy doing a welfare check on me, during which I took the time to ask questions "about a book I'm writing" (flirting with disaster, I know), I can pretty much promise you that there will be an autopsy that, at a minimum, includes a toxicology panel. Which means whatever you ingest will be revealed, and there is no conceivable way anyone will fail to see it as suicide. Maybe back in the good old days, when you could get a prescription for N as a sleeping pill (that's how my aunt ctb), it might be classified as an accidental drug overdose, but unless you're already on the right sort of prescription meds to ctb simply by o.d.ing on them, the deliberate effort will be noticed.
So assuming that your need to ctb overcomes your (quite kind) aversion to causing your family distress, there are non-violent ways out.
Just to state the obvious, Nembutol is the Holy Grail, but can be challenging to get hold of.
I'm pain-averse, and I don't want to leave my family with the trauma of me having shot myself, so I'm planning to use an exit bag/nitrogen.
The "night night" method has recently been detailed here, and sounds like it might fit your requirements.
Hopefully others more knowledgeable than me will be along shortly.
Having just had way too close a brush with a sheriff's deputy doing a welfare check on me, during which I took the time to ask questions "about a book I'm writing" (flirting with disaster, I know), I can pretty much promise you that there will be an autopsy that, at a minimum, includes a toxicology panel. Which means whatever you ingest will be revealed, and there is no conceivable way anyone will fail to see it as suicide. Maybe back in the good old days, when you could get a prescription for N as a sleeping pill (that's how my aunt ctb), it might be classified as an accidental drug overdose, but unless you're already on the right sort of prescription meds to ctb simply by o.d.ing on them, the deliberate effort will be noticed.
So assuming that your need to ctb overcomes your (quite kind) aversion to causing your family distress, there are non-violent ways out.
Just to state the obvious, Nembutol is the Holy Grail, but can be challenging to get hold of.
I'm pain-averse, and I don't want to leave my family with the trauma of me having shot myself, so I'm planning to use an exit bag/nitrogen.
The "night night" method has recently been detailed here, and sounds like it might fit your requirements.
Hopefully others more knowledgeable than me will be along shortly.
Fallen bad23
Student
- Oct 19, 2018
- 105
Thank a lot for your concern, it is highly appreciated. Medical service in Egypt is a joke itself that is why I tend to think that I won't end in autopsy but who knows. I'm not on any meds so I just need to improvise. I think that I can go with insulin overdose and it won't be a problem because I can get it without a prescription where I live. If only I can find a way to die and just spare my family the pain, I would really be relieved. Mum could end up ctbing because of my suicide and my little sister would probably do the same so I can't let them discover my body with stuff around me that I used to die. It won't be fair.
I hear you. And as for your family's reaction --yikes. Yes, that would all be bad.
I've got a bad feeling about how well a massive insulin OD would serve you. I used to be an EMT, so I should have a sense of that, but I just don't know. Maybe someone else has knowledge about it.
